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68 reviews in total 
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Candyman (1992)
1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
The best bit of the movie is the ending credits - when you know the damn thing is over, 14 May 1999

IF you, for some reason, like horror movies that are not scary, not exciting, no fun at all and downright depressing, you'll love Candyman. It's a nasty and badly told tale of unlikable characters, one of which investigates the obviously true legend of the Candyman. It's murky, dull, tasteless, extremely bleak and very, very unplesent in tone and horrible to look at. The bad guy, although I wouldn't want to hang around with him, is the least scary supernatural killer in cinema history.

Candyman has no suspense at all. None at all. Instead goes for sudden shocks like Candyman appearing from nowhere, and....well, Candyman appearing from nowhere. The movie is obsessed with the unpleasant aspects of life, and since all the characters are so unpleasant, you couldn't care less if the Candyman kills them. You just hope he'll get on with it so the movie will end soon. Another horrible moment is - believe it or not - Virginia Madison stripping. Yes, because she's covered in blood. What a nice film. And that's the emphasis of this film - nastiness, not scariness. The climax doesn't make sense - the Candyman can transport himself anywhere when he wants to, but when he's trapped in a bonfire he can't all of a sudden, and the final scene 'shock' is painfully obvious from the second it begins. And the final scene contains the only two points that are in anyway enjoyable in this movie.

Contact (1997)
3 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
Words cannot describe how wonderful this film is...., 14 May 1999

Contact is absolutely spellbinding. Astonishing, superb, beautiful, wonderful, awe-inspiring, astounding, and extremely moving. It is the only movie ever made to create a realistic and utterly believable alien planet. Jodie Foster should have won an Oscar for this, she has surely proved now she is one of the best actresses of all time. Her visit to the alien planet was so beautiful and moving it had me in tears. You are doing yourself a huge injustice if you miss this. Simply one of the best films ever made.

Assassins (1995)
0 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
LAME, 11 May 1999

How can the director of Lethal Weapon and Superman have come up with this lousy garbage? I wanted to like it, I love action movies and thrillers, I like Stallone, Julianne Moore and Banderas, but I was bored to the point of tears through out. This movie is excrutiatingly s-l-o-w, and when things finally happen it's not much. For an action movie there is about two small explosions, two short gun fights....and that's it. If you decide to watch Assassins, it's boredom ahoy.

Godzilla (1998/I)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Absolutely appalling excuse for entertainment, 11 May 1999

This is complete garbage, it really is. In fact, it's so bad, when kids at my school take days off, their excuse is, ''I saw Godzilla.'' And the teachers sympathise with them. I hope a director's cut is released so I can get another day off. I actually THOUGHT this might be quite good - but then, sitting in the cinema, the shocking truth hit me - it's' a Dean Devlin and Steven Spielberg wannabe-Roland Emmerich film and it's a godzilla film - obviously it's going to suck. EXACTLY like Independence Day, but with a huge green CGI monster instead of huge CGI spaceships. It's even got the anti-violence science geek that Jeff Goldblum played in ID4, played here by Mathhew Broderick. Worst of all is Maria Portillo, who gives one of the worst performances I've ever seen. The entire cast and crew must be embarrassed at this disgraceful waste of so much money.

On paper, it's a good movie...., 10 May 1999

Okay, it's not what you'd call a classic, but it's quite entertaining and it's one of few movies about what I consider the scariest monsters of all - witches.

What a surprise - a rehash of the original...., 6 May 1999

Pesumably the third installment will be called ,''I Still Know What You Did A Few Summers Ago, And That Was A Pretty Cool Movie, But Unfortunately I Also Know What You Did The Summer Afterwards, Running Around On An Island Showing Off Your Admmittedly Nice Breasts, Hoping That Would Make Up For The Fact That Sarah Michelle Gellar Wasn't Around.''

If that would fit on the billboards.

Spawn (1997)
2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:

Spawn is such a piece of trash. It tries to be dark, cool and gothic in a Tim Burton Batman way, but it's just nasty and unpleasant, like something you'd find in a sewer. Even worse, the film is uncomprehensible. It doesn't flow properly. It's like the editor of the movie decided to put the scenes in random order - characters do things without any motivation or logic, and the action scenes are completely misplaced, i.e. whenever they run out of ideas. Also, the disgusting characters mumble every line. Unless you sit infront of the TV and work everything out, you won't understand what is going on. And quite frankly, you won't want to. Spawn is a lame character anyway - visually, he's a just cross between Batman and Spider-Man, two characters who Todd MacFarlane worked on. Characteristically, he's just a nasty guy who murders bad guys without thinking. He only appeals to 14-year old's who have never seen an eigties action movie and think the 'shoot all the bad guys' approach is really original..

Spawn is depressing, disjointed, disgusting garbage that you'll want to wash your hands after watching.

The Rock (1996)
Very entertaining, but the action scenes are disapointing, 6 May 1999

As a huge Con Air fan, I was looking forward to The Rock. And I was pretty disappointed. I was expecting something very similar to that movie, with the added bonus of Sean Connery and Ed Harris. The result is less of an action film than an action-heavy thriller. Cage is superb, as always; hilarious yet believable and he makes some great lines up as he goes along. Ed Harris is excellent as a very human villain, and his heavies make some very nasty opponents for the good guys. However, Sean Connery doesn't even have a character. Perhaps the director wanted him to use his natural charm, first we see Connery in jail, and we are supposed to be in awe and afraid of him. After he is released, he is an extremely nice guy doesn't even really mind being stuck in Alcatraz will a bunch of blood-thirsty soldiers on his trail. Luckily, the chemistry between him and Cage works, and they make a cool team.

The other problem is the action scenes, which are much hyped but shot in Joel Schumacher style - meaning extremely fast cuts and extreme close-ups so you can't actually see what the hell is going on. This only really works in the car chase scene, and even that is not really very exiting.

Overall, The Rock is very entertaining but it's no way near as good as Con Air.

Second best of the series, 6 May 1999

Make no mistake, Returns is an amazing film. It's hard to put in to words such a fantastic experience of a movie. True, the action scenes aren't particularly good, and the characters all wear black all the time, but this is still awesome movie making. The sets are magnificent, the acting first class from everybody, the costumes are superb, and it's got some fantastic scenes in it. Both Tim Burton and the writer Daniel Hamm have admitted this is the darkest of the series, and possibly too dark for a family audience, but this is how Batman is supposed to be...silent, tough, menacing, brooding...although I don't know why people think he's supposed to be insane. He's consumed with vengeance, and that is what makes him do what he does. He's not insane, he's a man who suffered a terrible tragedy as a kid.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
One of the top three Bond movies, 27 April 1999

You know what to expect from a Bond movie - and this has everything you'd expect done extremely well. Moore gives his best performance, the action scenes are great, the gadgets and vehicles are fantastic, Jaws is an awesome opponent for 007, and Barbara Bach is one of the most beautiful women ever to appear in a Bond movie. However, she isn't really a strong female character - she needs saving from everything by Bond, and he constantly outwits her and gets the better of her, and she eventually succumbs to him. Still, who cares. The action scenes are especially outstanding, far, far better than in any of the previous movies - the helicopter/Lotus chase and the clashes with the seemingly unstopabble Jaws being the highlights. Fantastic stuff,

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