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Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004)
"Images of pre-Invasion Iraq that, while not perfect, had amusement parks and cafes and discos and shopping malls..."
"... as an American I thank Michael Moore for opening my eyes and letting me see the truth for myself so that I may make up my own mind."
"While not Perfect"? "WHILE NOT PERFECT"??? Jesus H. Christ on a bike, hearing someone say that would be hilarious, if it weren't so completely effing terrifying.
And one can safely assume that any musings by Michael Freaking Moore are possibly, POSSIBLY 50% truth, so I'd think a little more about what "truth" you "saw for yourself" before you get completely on with "making up your mind."
Who the hell are the 1200-some-odd people who gave this blatant piece of propaganda a "10"?? Good to know that ol' Mikey succeeded: the people who came in WANTING to like this tapestry of falsity and innuendo certainly have. Way to utterly and completely pander to an audience that was going to love the piece of garbage anyways...
The Blair Witch Project (1999)
incredible. i've never been this scared during a movie
To anyone who plans on seeing this astounding movie: this film WILL stick with you. Particularly the ending. Consider yourself forewarned. It's been over 24 hours since I got out of the theater, and the final images are still burned indelibly into my memory. This was easily the most shiver-inducing, all-out frightening movie I've ever seen. There are no jump-out-of-your-seat scares, no shots of a slimy, ugly alien or any other cheap scare tactics: all that exists while this film runs is FEAR, nauseating, jaw-clenching, stoop-down-in-your-seat fear. I went in to the theater afraid that the film had been overhyped, that I wouldn't like it as much as I hoped I would, and, after about 20 minutes or a half hour, I thought that my worries were coming true. Then I realized that I was hoping, really hoping, that the scene wouldn't shift to night again. That's when I realized just how afraid I really was. The big reason that this film is so frightening is it's realism. In most movies you have to make an attempt to identify with the characters; in TBWP you have no choice. You become basically the fourth person, and that prospect is what is truly scary: "What if that was me up there?" I shudder to think about it even now. I'm not even going to get started on the last 5-10 minutes of the film; I'll just leave it at the fact that I have never been as scared in a theater as I was at TBWP's conclusion. And I slept with the light on afterward. This is a brilliant, brilliant film.
Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
Torgo is the man!
I hope that any guy out there who sees this movie takes notes on Torgo's mack vibe. Did you see him throwin' game at that honey? She acted scared, but you could tell she wanted it. And who wouldn't? Seriously, this film makes for amazingly bad viewing; I was squirming in my seat after 10 minutes. And I was watching the MST3K version! To their credit, Joel and the 'bots did an incredible job with this piece of crap: they actually made it semi-watchable. However, I have no idea what they would have done if it wasn't for Torgo. "Ripping on Torgo" probably provided 90% of the laughs during this show, I'm not kidding. This is just about the only movie MST3K has ever shown that I had a really difficult time sitting thru at some parts, even with the wise-ass comments. You have to put in some work to watch this thing all the way thru, and I consider the fact that I survived the whole thing to be a major plus on my side. I give the MST3K folks a ton of credit for pulling this one off.
Double Indemnity (1944)
This has got to be the coolest crime movie I've ever seen. What great dialogue! This is the penultimate film noir, but with Billy Wilder and Raymond Chandler collaborating on the script I would expect nothing less. Barbara Stanwyck is perfect; you can just see her calculating and planning in those first few meetings with MacMurray, who is no slouch himself. I don't think he ever calls her by her first name, constantly calling her "baby," while giving a great example of a man bored with his career and excited by a challenge and a hot dame. Edward G. Robinson is fabulous too. I was amazed by that suicide statistics speech! I don't think Miklos Rozsa's perfect score gets enough credit for creating the mood of this picture. It's so wonderfully foreboding, getting us ready for the cool, hardened crime drama that those first few notes and shots promise us. Absolutely perfect; if you catch it on TV or you're at the video store without a clue of what to get, check this one out. You won't be disappointed.
Dawson's Creek (1998)
um, no thanks
I have had the bad luck of catching this show three or four times and, with all of the word of mouth it's getting, I tried to give it a chance. I just don't like this show. Being a teenager, I have to say that the dialogue is not quite as unrealistic as everyone says, but it does (often) reach the point of being laughable. And, my God, I would hate to live in that town, everyone's life sucks (or at least everyone thinks their life sucks). Teens are not all that dramatic, and when we are we still don't mumble the pseudo-intellectual drivel that spills from these characters' mouths with such ease. The exception is the Joshua Jackson character; he seems more real than any of the other ones. Actually, the show might be watchable if they got rid of Dawson and Joey. Nothing against Van Der Beek, I like him and I think he showed a decent amount of range with "Varsity Blues." Holmes, however, gets on my nerves more than anyone. Her face seems to be perpetually stuck in two expressions: annoyance and embarrassment. She has always got either an icy stare or a blushing, crooked smile on her face. I find the show as a whole to be a basic soap opera disguised as a My So-Called Life- like teen drama. I can see it being addicting, because of the strong soap opera overtones. But I wouldn't watch a soap opera, and I make every attempt not to watch this either. It's a shame that fluff like this gets so many people's attentions and a fabulous show like "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" remains critically acclaimed yet without the viewership of "Dawson's." Oh well, the world's a twisted place.
The Big Hit (1998)
a whole lot of nothing, but...
Wow, what a pointless and stupid movie. I walked away from it knowing this and thinking that I should have disliked it, but I just couldn't. It was too damn much fun. This is just a big, loud, fun ride that pretty much goes 90 from beginning to end. It's hokey, but it knows it, and it seems to play off of it's simplicity and predictability really well. Wahlberg's "I just want everybody to like me" kind of got old, but this movie isn't about character or plot or dialogue, it's about ACTION and FUN, and LOTS OF IT! Just pop some popcorn, sit back, turn your brain off, and enjoy the ride.
Chasing Amy (1997)
best of the NJ3
While "Clerks" was just kind of a rant, and "Mallrats" was pretty dumb (damn funny, but dumb), Kevin Smith seems to have matured a lot with this one. This seems like a really personal movie for him. All of Joey Lauren Adams' screaming kind of bugged me, but other than that, the performances were all top-notch. After Mallrats, I knew Jason Lee was hilarious, but he proved in this that he can act too. Ben Affleck is good, like always. But Jason Lee is my favorite. He needs to be in more stuff. This is Smith's movie, though, right down to Silent Bob's breakout performance! He is always in control of this great story, which is one of the most original I've ever seen. The ending has upset some people, but, as gut-wrenching as it is, it needed to happen that way. The end is just so true to life, with the tearful "I'll see you around"s, where they both know full well they probably won't. Tough stuff, but that's the way it is. Overall, just a great movie. Funny, smart, sad, it's got everything. Check it out.
Dead Man on Campus (1998)
not that bad
A friend dragged me to this film when it came out at the theater, but I had absolutely no desire to see it. I left pleasantly surprised, but over time I began to wonder if it was just my mood or my low expectations that made it seem halfway decent. I watched DMOC again the other day, curious as hell, and found that I liked it just as much the second time. This is definitely not an academy award winning movie, but it is quite a lot better than I thought it was going to be. I was afraid I was going to get stuck seeing that wacko Cliff guy make an ass of himself and the other two for 90 min., but luckily he was only in it for a minimal amount of time. Instead, the movie focused mainly on the relationship that develops between Cooper and Josh, as they both take on aspects of each other's personalities. It's a pretty relevant film for anyone living in a dorm; most college students should be able to relate to at least some of the situations Cooper and Josh get themselves into. And, unlike a few others who have commented, I did find some humor in several of the scenes. How could you not laugh when that "depressed" musician pulled out a brush and started singing "cabaret" into it? Overall, if you're not expecting much, you won't be disappointed. In fact, you might actually LIKE it.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997)
No question, the best on TV
It just doesn't get any better than this show. I've been watching since two or three episodes into the first season, and from the first episode I saw, I was hooked. Like a guy before me, I just have to agree: it's got something for everybody. Great drama, incredible action, and probably the best sense of humor on TV, alternating from dry and sophisticated to downright goofy. I could go on all day babbling ("I never babble! Occasionally I run-on, every now and then I yammer...") about the collective merits of the four female leads, but maybe if I just leave it at the fact that they're all GORGEOUS, that might get a few more males interested in this fine show. If you've dismissed it without even watching, simply because it's on the WB or "it looks like a show for pre-pubescent girls," then shame on you! Give it a chance, you won't be disappointed.