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Tasty!

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2 reviews in total 
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16 out of 22 people found the following review useful:
The best damn show on TV. Ever., 16 June 1999

That just about says it all. After this got cancelled, I stopped watching TV for almost 2 years.

Ronin (1998)
2 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
Dear Frankenheimer: Get back on the junk, 14 May 1999
3/10

Every movie since rehab has been a ferocious suckfest.

I just saw a movie with a cast member who was in Ronin, so just for jollies I decided to check out the sentiment on what I remembered as one of the absolute worst movies in the history of the printed image. Imagine my shock when almost 90% of the reviews are raves!

Let me just warn the movie viewing populace that the only thing I got from Ronin (besides the admittedly intense car chases) was a cure for insomnia. The movie is LONG, and feels even longer. IMHO, not worth the investment of time or money. I've seen many people refer to it as a "thinking man's action movie". This is true. Upon leaving, I was thinking, 'why the hell did I pay to see that action movie'? There are many unanswered questions in the movie, but eventually (perhaps after the first 90 minutes drag by) you just stop caring to get the answers. The only reason I stayed to the end was because I've never walked out on a movie in my life, and I didn't want Ronin to be the first ANYTHING (and thus memorable) experience ever. Plus, I was with a wisecracking friend who was similarly underwhelmed, providing a large part of the entertainment for me.

Another oft-cited positive is the cinematography and visuals. I'll grant this one, too, but with one reservation: If you gave me a PixelVision camera and a flashlight at these locations, I'd give you some pretty stunning visuals, too. It's hard to make Nice look ugly.

Does it make you think? Yes! Who are these characters? What are they doing? Who's screwing who (both in the figuratively and as a sexual euphemism)? What's in that case? Eventually, Why do I care? (none of these are answered, BTW) Ultimately, it turns out that Jean Reno is the narrator! Boy, what a twist! Don't walk out early, or you'll never know. I suppose I should be grateful he finally grabbed the mic and prompted the credits to roll, or I'd still be suffering today. No other conceivable conclusion to the film.

My ultimate conclusion? Maybe you absolutely MUST see every movie Robert DeNiro is in. Then go ahead. Maybe you've seen everything else at the local video store. Rent them all again (even Last Action Hero). Then, and ONLY then, consider renting Ronin. And even then only if you're hopped up on stimulants or hallucinogens.