Reviews

21 ReviewsOrdered By: Date
Absolute Classic
15 March 2001
I was always told that trans-lingual comedy films are never funny. That if you're not Chinese, well you're not even going to crack a smile. Well they've obviously never seen this film. Made in Hong Kong, "Gai tung aap gong" is absolutely one of the best comedy films I have ever seen. Michael Hui, a legendary comedy star in Hong Kong, plays a character Ah Hui, who runs a traditional HK Duck shop. Things are going well until a fast-food store by the name of "Danny Chicken" opens up across the street and begins to draw the crowds away. For Ah Hui, this means war! Such scenes as Ah Hui sneaking into Danny Chicken dressed as an Indian woman, the Chicken and Duck mascot brawl, the James Bond-style investigation of the "secret ingredients", and the Danny Chicken training class are, in my opinion, all-time comedy classics.
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Where does it hurt? All over!
15 March 2001
You know, the film industry never fails to amaze me, the fact that they are quite willing to throw a lump of money at projects like "Where does it hurt?" Quite possibly it is the worst movie Peter Sellers ever made, and the lowest point he ever experienced in his career. "Where does it hurt?" really is the pits. Badly filmed, badly scripted, incredibly unfunny (a cavity search would produce more laughs!)and a true lesson in how NOT to make a film, I have to give points however to Peter Sellers for trying to do his best. Basically the premise of the film is a hospital run by Corrupt Sellers who is assisted by a team of money-greedy staff who basically try to get insurance money out of all the patients or something. Who knows? You're so busy fast-forwading it that the only rewarding part of it is returning back to your local video store.
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Swinging London, Flares and Tits. What more could you want?
12 March 2001
A sometimes hilarious soft porn film made in the 1970's, The Adolescents is bizarre for those who get to see the english version. Filmed in England with english actors Koo Stark and Anthony Andrews, but made by a Spanish company who obviously made it to dub into Spanish for the spanish market. For the english version, they decided to re-dub it in english using different actors for the voices than the ones who starred in it, therefore giving the english actors some peculiar foreign accents. In fact I'm convinced that the woman who dubbed Koo Stark's voice, used to do the english dubbing for the character Tripitaka in the hilariously camp Japanese series "Monkey".

Basically The Adolescents deals with a rather reserved girl (Stark)who attends a private boarding school in England who gets seduced by a young ruffian (Andrews)who takes her back to his apartment where hidden cameras are placed behind groovy 70's furniture for the purpose of getting pornographic material for magazines in Denmark, which justifies I suppose, the copius amounts of Tit shots. However, having said that, the film is handled a lot better than other trashy American Tits and Bum films. There is an actual point to the nudity, unlike other films where people for some reason trim their hedges in the nude. But in all honesty, the best thing about this film is its extensive location filming of London right slap bang in the middle of the 1970's. So if you want to catch footage of swinging London in those glorious old days, check it out.
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Likeable
5 November 2000
The April Fools, starring Jack Lemmon and Catherine Deneuve is a likeable, though not outstanding film. The film, somewhat bereft of a script, deals with Lemmon's character who arrives at his extremely trendy boss's apartment for a social gathering, which, to Lemmon's sheer amazement, is a fully-fledged swinging 60's hip shindig in classic over-40's type psychedelia. Deneuve plays the rather neglected wife of Lemmon's boss and of course the two meet at the party and do a terribly unconvincing job of falling in love. Deneuve, while pretty to look at, strolls through this film acting like she's hanging around for her agent to come up with something better. And in this film Lemmon just doesn't cut it as a romantic interest. The scene stealers are Lemmon's two drunken cohorts.

This film is far more interesting as a time piece, however. It's fun and engaging to watch this film and see how Hollywood was interested in projecting the late '60s high-class psychedelic world. The scene where Jack Lemmon takes Catherine Deneuve to the private club which is completely fitted out like the jungle and features sexy waitresses who slink around in various animal skins, with the only way to attract their attention is to shoot them on the bottom with a cap gun, really does make you marvel at the fact that clubs like this really did exist. Ah! Those were the days....
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Chances (1991–1992)
Plot-line gone haywire
25 July 2000
I remember I was in High School when this classic piece of Australian TV graced our screens. Promoted to be a sophisticated, stunning shift in the direction of Australian programming, it soon began to smell like a forgotten cooked chicken in the boot (trunk) of the family car. The show caused a lot of controversy when first aired simply because of the fact that it contained a lot of tits and bum. When the public no longer cared about that, they swiftly moved on to eradicating great swathes of cast members in original and enjoyable death scenes. Finally the show limped into severely bizarre storylines and plots involving god-knows-what (no-one actually remembers, we were no longer watching) that produced a thoroughly embarassing television show for the actors and public alike. May it rest in peace.
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The Horror at 37,000 Feet (1973 TV Movie)
Comedy at 37,000 feet!
17 June 2000
I had the pleasure of watching this delightful television movie very late one night and found myself glued to the television not in rapted horrific terror, but in fits of laughter.

This TV movie deals with a handful of people boarding a B747 bound from London to the USA. A rich couple has boarded the plane with the remains of an ancient church that used to be a part of the wife's English ancestry. Only trouble is....the stones are haunted!! (well, that's a first! I've heard of possessed houses and possesed people, but, slabs of limestone?)

Anyway William Shatner boards the flight in wonderful plaid suits and plaid hair pieces posing as a man of religion who has lost his faith. He performs a delightful bit of cheesy acting in trying to ward of the horrific, terrifying flood of evil, devil possesed chocolate sauce emerging from the cargo bay (I've never seen people so terrified of confectionary). The film reaches it's climax when the passengers decided to build a bonfire in the plane to keep their souls free from what looks like Guacamole dip - obviously these people don't fly much or else they'd realise that this is what Airline food normally does.

It's a hilarious film with lots of absolute dead pan acting, but keep your eyes out for the highly dramatic and tense scene in the plane where I am positive that the actors are desperately trying to contain their laughter. I don't blame them.
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Delightfully Bland
22 December 1999
Well what can be said of the 'Socialist Musical'? When I saw this film advertised on Television, I was looking quite forward to it. I was expecting to sit down to 90 minutes of East Germans caroling their voices in soaring melodies extolling the heroic virtues of a glorious Socialist future, beaming faces carrying portraits of Lenin and Walter Ulbricht while farmers tilled the soil in song and factory workers rode out the latest Trabant Triumph. However, I was sadly disappointed.

Hot Summer, as it is called in English, is a delightfully bland East German musical made in 1967. The star of the film, Chris Doerk was somewhat of an East German pop star and this film was her vehicle. Basically Hot Summer deals with a group girls and a group of guys all off to the Baltic sea to enjoy their summer holidays. They've got the check-mini skirts, the patent leather shoes and these guys and girls are going to Rock and Roll their way into the 60's in East Germany. And it doesn't get much better.

The separate groups of guys and girls decide to have a competition and see who can arrive at the Baltic sea from Berlin first. I can't remember who won, but it wasn't important. What was important was the dramatic storyline. The guys decide to play tricks on the girls and then snogg (Kiss) them and vice versa. And there were the songs, slotted in at every available opportunity, and proceeded to become downright annoying. But hey, that's Socialism. The storyline was absolute drivel and dragged on considerably. I'm convinced the Production crew lost the script and ended up just re-using scenes. However, the scene where one of boys appears at the door to a barn wearing tight black jeans, plaid shirt, teddy boy hairdo and thumb firmly planted in his belt loop while his hips gyrate so fast it would have earned him an Order of Lenin singing some dreadful song is a scene definitely worth seeing.
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Bloodmoon (1990)
The baby was the best!
15 September 1999
The Australian film industry over recent years has received many accolades for its fine productions and have gladly suffered the "American remake" which is a testament to their outstanding quality. This film however, is not among them.

Why oh why when we have some many great story lines to persue do we copy shoddy American horror films. And this is a perfect copy of one of those forgettable horror flicks. Basically as the story goes, A demented high school science teacher goes on a murderous rampage through a posh boarding school and is protected by his shag-anything wife and finally caught out by an intrepid Nun. It's actually quite funny, really.

However, the sad thing about this film is it is not bad enough to be cherrished in the Hammer tradition. Oh well. The best thing about this film was Baby Desmond. It has nothing to do with the fact that he is my cousin, of course.
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Crossplot (1969)
Lightweight Bond
7 July 1999
This film, basically a vehicle for Roger Moore, is a 90 minute television-style action adventure film. Roger Moore plays an advertising executive who utilises an Eastern European girl in a promotional campaign who just happens to be sharing a house with spies and unwittingly discovers their darstadly plot. This now provides a perfect opportunity for Roger Moore to slip into his Simon Templar/James Bond persona and save the day.

This film lies somewhere between an extended Saint episode and an early James Bond movie, but as Roger Moore was the best James Bond, (as we all know), this film is nevertheless enjoyable just for his suave, Mr smooth 1960's London swinger acting. The original Austin Powers.

Nothing exceptional, however this film is reasonably enjoyable in a mild mannered way. You could certainly do worse.
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Fascinating Viewing
16 June 1999
This film would have to rank up there as one of Bunel's best, along with La Charme Discret de la Bourgeoisie. In this film he again uses actor Fernando Rey and a relative newcomer to Cinema, the ever beautiful Carole Bouquet.

The film uses a very unique film device, which is the female lead is actually played by two actresses: One actress for her placid nature and another actress for her tempremental side. This makes the film fascinating viewing even more so that the women don't even look the slightest bit alike. The film also has those beautiful European situations such as Fernando Rey telling his story to a train carriage full of freaks and oddities.

Just one of those exceptional movies.
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