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Speed Racer (2008)
How the Wachowskis Rick Roll'd the world..
There is only one thing I can say about this "movie" and that I hope it's a prank. I hope that nobody who has any synaptic responses would view even a few frames of this and think it was something that the world should see. It is awful. It is insulting. It is the first time I've walked out of a movie in at least fifteen years and I've sat through such gems as Batman & Robin. No, there is nothing redeeming about this nonsense for anyone of any age. If you take your children to see this and they weren't already on Ritalin, then they'll probably need to be if they enjoy this. It's not that I'm old and cynical. I love good kid friendly movies. Shrek 1, The Goonies, Mathilda, and The Princess Bride are good kid movies. This is pure drivel in the worst possible way. I wish I could give this zero stars.
I'm reminded of the line from Billy Madison. Speed Racer, what you've just shown me is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen. At no point in your rambling, incoherent "movie" were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this world is now dumber for having watched to it. I award you no stars, and may God have mercy on your soul.
The Brothers Grimm (2005)
Hard to believe this is Gilliam
I don't fault Terry Gilliam for what I thought was a complete failure of a movie. Nor do I fault the actors or most anything else that that was seen on screen as this was a beautiful movie visually. No, this is what is brought about by a complete lack of talent in screen writing. Scenes were pieced together with about as much thought as one would organize their shoe collection. I felt like there were several scenes and bits of dialogue that actually were as awkward as wearing two left shoes. This movie would be utterly forgettable if it weren't one of the apparent few offerings of Terry Gilliam that we'll receive in one lifetime. With a director who takes as much time between movies as Stanley Kubrick always did one would assume each one would come out a sparkling masterpiece, but sadly this is not one of those. I went in thinking I was to witness a return to the fantastical journeys of past films like Time Bandits or Baron Munchausen, but was treated to something on par with The Mummy Returns. Hopefully Tideland will restore some shine to the Gilliam name because after a mucking like this, it needs it.
If you had no problems with "Unbreakable" you might like
To me this film suffered the same problems "Unbreakable" did, which were many. First off, you take a fantastical story such as super heroes and alien invasion and you try to spin a human side to them. It's repectable in theory, but both of these offerings failed to capture an interesting home life with it instead feeling shallow and prefab. Then to make it more clever, just as the action is reaching its denouement, we switch in even closer so as to avoid showing the audience anything interesting. The world is supposedly run amock with thousands of aliens and we get a standoff with one. I don't need big flashy effects, but it honestly seems like a not so clever Ed Wood trick to save money.
At least to me anyway, the first part of Unbreakable was better. This one seemed much more excrutiating. I was 30 minutes in going...gee I wonder if the daughter's problem with water is going to come to be something important later... We are not stupid.. we don't need something drilled in with a power tool. Please help me get this piece of junk out of the IMDB's top 250. A list for movies of a slightly higher caliber.
We Were Soldiers (2002)
To little butter for too much bread
Far be it for me to sound un-patriotic, but I felt almost nothing during this entire movie. Somehow we were supposed to really care about these characters when we barely even got to know them. I mean, how many different stories are you going to try and lay on us at once? At least in the case of say, The Thin Red Line, we weren't supposed to feel extra sorry when one person died as opposed to the hundred other guys just because we show one extra minute of them. I felt that the movie was generally hollow compared to so many other war movies on a whole. And the "montage" of Barry Pepper's photography. I thought I was going to wet my self laughing it was so cheesy. I almost felt more connected to his character in Battlefield Earth. Well, almost.
My only postive comment was that the battle scenes were excellently filmed. Just would have liked to have a character or two who didn't seem like they were "acting" the entire time.
One of the best book to film transitions ever!
Forget what you've heard about the changes in LOTR coming to the big screen. Sure, some things are left out and minor (and I do mean minor) changes were made to make an entertaining movie, but it also leaves the viewer realizing that have seen one part of a gigantic film. If the other two movies do the book half as much justice, this may be the best 8+ hour film ever.
I feel that while some diehard fans (I'd like to think I'm in that category) will pigeonhole the movie to death, we should all keep in mind that this is one of the best book adaptations ever. Name me a book to movie that didn't lose at least SOMETHING in the move and I'll tell you a movie that probably doesn't watch all that well.
So, with all this being said, keep in mind that this is a movie and that Peter Jackson or whoever you want to "blame" for your nitpickings did not come to your house and rip up the original text, but created a beautiful movie based on the favorite book of the 20th Century. The books will always be there if you need them.