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Clay-10

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8 reviews in total 
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4 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
The "Bonz", 7 April 2008
6/10

This film's a goofy mess if there ever was one. Broken down into three separate segments which are each spoofs of 1970's sitcoms, each one has a few redeeming qualities. First off is a Happy Days spoof, featuring "The Bonz" who is obviously a spoof of Fonzie, helping his three dense friends lose their virginity. While amusing, it gets pretty much repetitive to the point of wanting to reach through the TV screen and lay the "Bonz" out the 50th time he snaps his fingers. Well, at least he doesn't beat on a jukebox to make it work. Second is a spoof of Welcome Back Kotter (!), where the teacher gives the class a sex education lesson. This segment is easily the funniest and has the best writing behind it. Lastly is the spoof of Barney Miller, which is a pure stinker and is only saved by the lovely assets of Candy Samples. Is it worth the money for the DVD? Doubtful.

9 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
Unwashed Elam..., 20 November 2007
5/10

A bizarre yet watchable cross between a typical oater and a slasher film, KNIFE FOR THE LADIES (or better known as "Jack The Ripper Goes West" on DVD) is actually a fairly entertaining jumble of genres, aided by the one and only Jack "One-Eye" Elam as the town sheriff, a drunken, unwashed, temperamental SOB who loves his rotgut and loves to fight, all of which is exacerbated when a clean-cut private eye comes in from the big city to help the townsfolk stop an unknown murderer bumping off the women. Although the DVD version is obviously edited of some scenes, causing the story to leave gaps as big as the one in Terry-Thomas's smile,the film moves along at a good gallop until the somewhat predictable conclusion.

Torment (1986)
2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Not Bad, But Not The Best!, 20 November 2007
5/10

TORMENT was one of those videos that sat gathering dust at the local video store, so I decided to pick it up one day and give it a look. In all honesty, the film is good for the one surprising twist halfway through the meandering story, but does one twist a movie make? Not really. The film is low-low budget, and the small cast and limited situations are reflective of that. The cast does just enough to get the story told and that's about it. But do you watch a film like this to be blown away? Nope. The directors do throw in a few interesting touches, such as the interesting opening sequence of the murderer's car going down the highway, and the cranky old woman in the wheelchair who winds up being something of the hero sort. Other than that, if you want to skip on by, start the walking.

0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Doesn't quite pull it off, 14 September 2006
4/10

While THE PSYCHO LOVER does have a lot going for it, including a mean-spirited script and decent acting, plus a strong script, the story is too heavily padded out with pointless scenes of the Doctor and his mistress slappin' lips to hokey 60's music that would make Donovan want to plug his ears with candle wax to keep out the pain. Overall, the film is worth at least one look for the violent, kinetically-edited attack scenes, where Marco slaps on his panty hose over his head, giving him a sadistic sneer as he goes crazy on the women. However, these scenes are too far apart and by the time the next ones comes along, the film has almost lost its viewers with the dull exposition used to pad out time, until the final 15 minutes when the film locks into overdrive to the surprising climax, which almost makes it all worthwhile.

Not enough to satisfy the hunger..., 7 July 2006
3/10

For what it could have been, "Microwave Massacre" is a big disappointment. While digestible, it's just a bunch of empty calories. Jackie Vernon sleepwalks through his role spouting sub-par Henny Youngman one-liners as he kills women to feed himself and his co-workers. It's like he was pumped on Benadryl before the cameras rolled. As for the rest of the film, it goes by at a fair pace, although a good 15-20 minutes could have hit the editing room floor to no detrimental effect. Filmed for apparently whatever the cast could find in the couch cushions and in the ashtrays of their 1970's autos, this film isn't terribly bad, just doesn't offer enough to make it memorable after the ending credits, like chewing on a piece of celluloid gristle.

The Corpse (2003)
1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Strange, straightforward horror flick, 23 April 2004
10/10

It goes without saying that probably everyone who's looked at this has probably wondered, "Who is Wilbur Scott?" While not a familiar name at all in movie making, he has shot over 50 regional films in northern Michigan since 1991, including horror, comedy, sci-fi, and even a children's film!

Of course, THE CORPSE is straight-out horror, a nod back to the grimy low-budget horror of the 1970's. The plot takes a back seat to the disgusting acts of Mr. Johanis, the necrophiliac funeral home owner seeking to get down and dirty with the preserved corpse of his late wife Beverly. Yeah, he's one cracked cookie, as he hallucinates his wife rising from her grave. Gotta hand it to Scott, though, for he's made a sleazy short film filled with weirdness and while not overly gory or explicit in its subject matter, manages to hold one's attention all the way to the downbeat ending. God knows jaws had to drop at the film festivals it played at.

0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
AWFUL, 15 April 2001
1/10

This was a show that was produced at my college (Central Michigan University) by some fellow Broadcasting students, and it wasn't very good, that's for sure. I even had the misfortune of making a VERY brief appearance in one of the episodes. The things you do out of the kindness of your heart, I suppose. Ham acting, outlandish story, well we can hope the makers of this went on to more professional things.

1 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
BAD FILM!, 22 January 2001

I first rented this movie at college, and expected so much more than I got. Hansen is the only member of the cast who can act, and despite an OK storyline, the cheap, amateurish production quickly sinks the film.