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Sam-71

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5 reviews in total 
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Catwoman (2004)
21 out of 28 people found the following review useful:
Berry Sucks; Pitof should go back to VFX supervision in France, 14 January 2005
1/10

Wow - where to begin???? Firstly, this film should prove that the Oscars are rigged - Berry can act about as well as I can fly. She deserved the Oscar about as much as George Bush deserves an award for world peace. And Pitof???? Who are you? Madonna???????? Unless you're a mega-star - USE 2 NAMES! Well, as a visual effects producer myself, I can say with confidence that he shouldn't give up his day job - directing VFX is very different to directing a film. Even having said that, the VFX in "Catwoman" were pathetic at best: half of it looked liked a poorly rendered video game!!! Please go back to France and do something else with your life like making coffee or croissants or pretending to be American.... 2hrs of my life WASTED!

The Beach (2000/I)
20 out of 32 people found the following review useful:
Did we really expect something better?, 21 February 2000
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Once again, Hollywood has managed to lower the benchmark for a bad movie even further. This was such a bad movie that I felt myself constantly looking at my watch. I didn't even have to pay for it - but I still felt as though I had wasted 2 hours of my life.

The plot was terrible, and was so over the place that sometimes it just wasn't clear what was happening. The character development was non-existent. It was not clear why the characters did what they did and why they had become what they were.

**** Little spoiler ahead****

And when Leo went "wild", I was totally confused. Why? How? He just sudden;y turned into a savage and started running around the forest making traps and eating bugs. Plus the flash backs to the guy who gave him the map - were they dreams? Drug induced? Or did he have some tropical fever??????

The whole thing was so unrealistic that is was just pathetic. Leo can act, but it seems that all the budget was spent on him, and that they just pulled some backpackers off the street of Bangcok and said "Do you wanna be in a movie?". The only redeeming thing about this film was that the cinematograpgy was pretty good.

****Spolier ahead!*****

Another thing that bothered me was the shark scene. I'm sorry, but a whole lagoon would NOT fill up with blood if a shark attacked 2 or 3 people. Plus the shark itself was HORRIBLE! I haven't seen such a bad shark for ages!! The whole theatre laughed!!! It looked like a piece of painted foam. They should have borrowed the "Jaws" set from Universal or something.

This movie was so bad that it is not ever worth seeing. It was like MTV meets "Lord of the Flies" meets "Apocolypse Now" - taking the worst elements of each. You'd be better off using 2 hours of your life in any other way.

Buried Secrets (1996) (TV)
1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Perhaps the most dreadful film that I have seen in recent times..., 6 February 2000
1/10

The benchmark has dropped even lower for the worst movies ever made. It comes as no surprise that I hadn't heard of this terrible film until now, 4 years after its release. Speaking as a film major at UCLA, I have to say that this film is an example of bad filmmaking in almost every aspect of the production process. The script was not only awful, but extremely predictable, with a totally pathetic ending. None of the characters were developed properly, and the conflicts between them just seemed to emerge from nowhere. The acting was pitiful, with dialogue to match. I have to say that I particularly enjoyed the scenes where the ghost would get all pissed off for no apparent reason. But the best part was definitely where the horse killed the bad lady in an act of vengence!! This movie is so bad that it is almost worth watching just to laugh at it. Talk about a bunch of washed up TV actors!

Supernova (2000/I)
1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
A B-grade porno-sci-fi hybrid whose only salvation was its SFX, 6 February 2000
1/10

What can I say? I was always taught that unless I had something nice to say that I shouldn't say anything at all. Well at least the special effects can satisfy that requirement - they were excellent. But other than that, Supernova was very disappointing. It brings up (again) that age old question of: "How can they spend so much money on a film and not get a decent script out of it???" This always astounds me. As a film student at UCLA, I can never understand why there are so many terrible scripts out there. Don't the producers realise that there are a ton of students who could give them a much better script for a lot less money - heck, I'd do it for free!

There were so many opportunities for the film to be very good. The set was excellent, the effects great. But the acting and script really let it down. For some reason, every few minutes seemed to call for some kind of sex scene between various crew members. It was seriously like a kind of soft porno set in space, the sexual theme carrying right on until the very end. In fact, the closing lines of the film were sexual in nature. The music was even a little porn-like; definitely not suited to the theme of the film

I would definitely recommend waiting until this comes out on video, or even waiting until it is on TV. Although it is one of those films that is so bad it's funny. I only hope that "Pitch Black" is of a little more substance.

If you didn't find this film funny, perhaps you should check to make sure you are not dead..., 6 February 2000
10/10

Definitely one of the best, funniest movies in a long time. The acting was great, the plot fairly original, and the theme of the film light-hearted and non-offensive. I took my friend along to see it - and she HATES sci-fi - and she laughed the entire time.

I guess we should thank God or someone that every now and then Hollywood gets it right and makes something good.