Reviews written by registered user
JohnSeal

Send an IMDb private message to this author or view their message board profile.

Page 1 of 107:[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [Next]
1065 reviews in total 
Index | Alphabetical | Chronological | Useful

Conveyor Boogie, 30 May 2016
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Okay, yes, this film is worth watching because it's an early effort by Lindsay Anderson. One cannot fully appreciate his later features without seeing what he did in the early days of his career. But, my God. This is a film about conveyor belts, and the men (and some women) who make them possible, and the men who use them. And it's almost half an hour long! It is truly a test of fortitude to watch piles of soil pass by on a long conveyor over and over and over again, accompanied by (first) some Aaron Copland music and (secondly) by a bespoke number entitled Conveyor Boogie.

Rating industrial films is always a challenge, but I can't possibly give this one more than a 5.

Talking bunny rabbit, 21 May 2016
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Okay, here goes. I'm in for the long haul (pun intended). Keep Talking Baby has never been reviewed on IMDb, and I can't and won't let that pass. I WILL review it, and I WILL meet the ten line minimum - somehow. So here goes: Eddie Constantine plays a ventriloquist falsely convicted of murder who escapes from prison. He must prove his innocence, and hopefully see the real perps get sent to jail in his place. He meets a young girl, gives her a huge stuffed bunny rabbit, and is off to the races with his plan for revenge. That's about it. Eddie is fun as usual, but the story is ridiculous and the ventriloquism angle is used sparingly - so sparingly, it's hard to understand why the filmmakers went with it. He could have been anything: butcher, baker, candlestick maker - but I guess they wanted him to throw his voice a couple of times in the movie. Not that that's really him performing the ventriloquism, either - at least I don't think it is! Nevertheless, the film is on balance an enjoyable hour and a half. Be warned that some reels of Something Weird's print are horribly washed out, but there are no better options available at present.

In A Gadda Da Boredom Baby, 18 May 2016
3/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

If you're a fan of hippie rock, you might get some mileage out of this shot-in-Florida oddity. Yes, you get the full length version of Iron Butterfly's interminable In A Gadda Da Vida, the song that surely established the template for Spinal Tap's Jazz Odyssey as well as a million other improvisational music horror shows. As the boys lip synch their hearts out (the bass player really seems to have enjoyed himself), director Barry Mahon splices in footage of a very bored looking audience, with close-ups of happy teens bobbing up and down not-in-time to the music. If Iron Butterfly aren't your bag, man, there's even worse in the form of an amateurish Jefferson Airplane-type group, complete with caterwauling female vocalist. About the best of the bunch are The New Society, who sound like a 1970 garage band desperately trying to stay in touch with their 1966 garage band roots. As for the story - what story? Dig the psychedelic kaleidoscope 'light show' effects instead.

Welcome to the Teledrome, 27 February 2016
3/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

A serial killer is on the loose, and it's up to Inspector Griffith to end their reign of terror. This extremely rare crime thriller was only available briefly from the now late lamented Video Search of Miami, and the print they utilized was, frankly, execrable. For starters, the film was shot in Italian, but VSOM's print was dubbed in French with English subtitles. In addition, it's horribly pan and scanned and is badly washed out in that special 'faded Eastmancolor' way we all know and love. And then there's the odd alternate title, Teledrome - suggestive of a 1980s home video boom retitling to somehow convince gullible renters that Hipnos follia di massacro was related to David Cronenberg's Videodrome. Don't YOU be the person who falls for this pitch: this is (at least until the final 20 minutes) a pretty straightforward cop movie with, unfortunately, not a great deal to recommend it (at least in this form). A good cast (Robert Woods, Rada Rassimov, and Fernando Sancho - here seen without a sombrero!) offers minor compensation.

Double Verdict, 22 February 2016
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This extremely obscure French drama starts out promisingly as a jury discusses the verdict they're going to deliver in the trial of a man accused of murdering his spouse. Unable to come to an agreement, the jury remains hung, and Richard (Serge Sauvion) is freed to begin a new life. And what does he do? Why, unwittingly begins a relationship with the daughter (Magali de Vendeuil) of one of the jurists! Dad is unhappy with their relationship, but that doesn't stop the lovebirds from marrying. Things are great at first, but slowly things begin to sour...and we begin to wonder if Richard really DID kill wife number one. Featuring a jazzy score from frequent Jess Franco collaborator Daniel White, this is a solid little picture that would probably play better in French with English subtitles (this review is based on a dubbed TV print) and in its original aspect ratio (the TV print looks more than a little tight).

Rhythm of Faith, 20 February 2016
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Have you heard - or seen - the one about the super-talented young dancer who needs to overcome adversity at home whilst trying to control his/her bad attitude in order to fulfill his/her full potential? Well in case you haven't, here it is again, this time shot in the Dominican Republic. Hayrol Abreu stars as Juan, a massively coiffed dancer with an equally massive chip on his shoulder and stardust in his feet. Or maybe it's in his ankles...it's always hard to tell in these movies. Rhythm of Faith's wealth of clichés is partially counterbalanced by the seriousness of its intent, but Juan is such a insufferable jerk it's difficult to root for him. Will he manage to save his grandma from being evicted? Will he bother to get that visa that will allow him to make a fresh start in the Big Apple? Will someone say 'Hey kids, let's put on a show' in Spanish? It's all completely predictable, but at least it's better than most American made dance movies.

GI Joe, 17 February 2016
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

NOTE: This review is for the original version of El hombre que vino del odio, not the version re-cut as Mean Mother.

Argentinian director Leon Klimovsky was truly a master of all genres: over the course of his long career he helmed horror flicks (the excellent The People Who Own the Dark), spaghetti westerns (A Few Dollars for Django), gialli (A Dragonfly for Each Corpse), and war movies (A Bullet for Rommel). A Soldier Named Joe initially seems likely to fall into the last category, but like most Klimovsky films it's anything but straightforward. Joe (Dennis Safren) is an aspiring concert pianist and Vietnam War draftee sentenced to Leavenworth for treachery by an officer who sounds oddly like Paths of Glory's George Macready. When the jeep transporting Joe to the brig is ambushed by Viet Cong, our anti-hero deserts and makes his way all the way across Thailand and India to Karachi, Pakistan, where he finds himself stranded until Daniel (Lang Jeffries) comes to his rescue - but there's a catch. Daniel can help Joe get to Rome...if he carries something there for him. Uh oh! The twists keep coming throughout this film, which used to play on TV during the '70s but has only been seen since on Greek videotape. Also featuring Luciana Paluzzi and Antonio Mayans, this is a decent little intriguer that deserves better than to be completely forgotten.

The petroglyphs of those who feed in Hell's Kitchen, 16 February 2016
7/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This was my first George Kuchar film. If you're not ready to see a hairy geek scratching his genitalia and rolling around nude on the bed (presumably in an effort to get comfortable in the summer heat), it's probably not for you. On the other hand, if you're interested in seeing a little time capsule of mid 1980s New York City, this is quite an interesting little item. Kuchar, returning to the Big Apple after years on the West Coast, drags his video camera around town re-acquainting himself with old friends from high school and the art world. It's oddly nostalgic, strangely heartwarming, and a lot easier to appreciate than most of the films George's brother Mike made (or at least, the ones I've seen).

"I'm a sand farmer...gringo!", 25 January 2016
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The line of dialogue quoted in my summary line is reason enough to check out this made in South Africa faux Eurowestern, which used to air on TV from time to time in the early '80s but now only seems to exist on videotape. Overall, it's a surprisingly good effort and could easily pass for 'the real thing'. Plot points and narrative are largely immaterial in this familiar tale of bad guys searching for wealth in the Old West, but the film hits all the right notes: the characters are scummy but likable, cinematography quite good (though obviously compromised by panning and scanning), and Keith Mansfield's jazzy score surprisingly appropriate and refreshingly free of twanging guitars and windy harmonica. Heck, if someone bothered to release the score, I'd buy it - and if a worthy outfit like Wild East saw fit to dust off the film and release it on disc I'd buy that, too.

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Panther Women, 3 January 2016
4/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

As a fan of Mexican cinema in general and of 'Mexi-horror' in particular, it's a shame this film never made it to American television (or cinemas, for that matter). However, it's totally understandable: shot in black and white in 1967, it would have been a hard sell for most north of the border distributors - including, apparently, K. Gordon Murray! Directed by Rene Cardona and shot at Churubusco, the film displays all the Gothic ambiance of a a film ten years older, and relies on wrestling stars as its primary box office draw. Secondary box office draw: the eye-popping antics of Manuel 'Loco' Valdés, here cast in a typical comic relief role. The film is only available on a Spanish language disc (no extras, no subtitles), but no one watches these things for the sparkling and witty dialogue, so even if you are strictly an Anglophone you may get some mileage from Las Mujeres Panteras.


Page 1 of 107:[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [Next]