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Beast-5

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113 reviews in total 
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4 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Utter crap, 30 March 2005
1/10

I actually paid to see this movie. Fortunately, it was at a two-dollar theater. I had heard the stories of the alleged problems in the making of this thing, and after suffering through this misbegotten trash, I believe them all. The original STEPFORD WIVES is a classic horror film. The remake wants to be a satiric comedy, but it's not funny at all. There is nothing funny whatsoever in this project. It was genuinely embarrassing to watch; I hated the main characters, particularly Matthew Broderick, who was spectacularly miscast. I have seen some of the worst movies ever made, but this one deserves a special place in the annals of filmdom, as it is a complete failure in every way.

22 out of 23 people found the following review useful:
Bizarre and brilliant, 3 February 2005
10/10

SONGS FROM THE SECOND FLOOR is honestly one of the best films I have seen so far in my years of cinematic appreciation. Alice, below, nailed it in her analysis, and there's little I can add that would be useful. I also agree with the critics who compared it to what would happen if Monty Python set their sights on Bergman. The film is both a character study and a meditation on humanity, filled with transcendent moments of beauty that left me completely stunned. It is also a biting satire of corporate greed and its effects on society, and the search for hope in a dying, empty world filled with people who've basically given up. SONGS is a great film that everybody should see.

A classic, 10 January 2005
8/10

Frank Henenlotter's BASKET CASE is a grimy, dirty movie, and that's part of its appeal. On a shoestring budget, we are shown the dark side of the city, which in many ways was its most beautiful, with its movie theatres showing kung fu flicks and crazy denizens-New York as it really was. His work makes me think of Vittorio De Sica and Jorg Buttgereit, two other filmmakers who were not afraid to expose decayed terrain. I also like the fact that Henenlotter did not take an easy route; Duana and Belial are sympathetic characters, not monsters at all. The people who surround them are regular people instead of the usual beautiful people of today's Hollywood horror machine. BASKET CASE is a great, suspenseful horror film that happens to be bloody and violent, like the best operas. I wasn't thrilled with the ending, especially since there are two very good sequels, but that's not a major complaint.

15 out of 24 people found the following review useful:
A Lifetime movie from Hell..., 4 January 2005
7/10

SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY resembles the kind of movie they show endlessly on the Lifetime channel. The men are either weak and ineffectual or psychotic.It was rightfully parodied by the movie FATAL INSTINCT. For the most part, the cheese factor is high, with plot devices scattered about everywhere, as well as a number of holes mentioned in other reviews. The characters act the way they do because the story requires them to do so. The scenery is wonderful, particularly at the beginning with the boats and the ocean. Patrick Bergin is great as Julia Roberts's obsessive-compulsive creep of a husband. Roberts has more chemistry with him than anyone else in the movie...

3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
A great show, 20 November 2004

The Midnight Movie has become a local institution. When they're not

yelling at each other and goofing off, these guys show some excellent movies. Some of them are so obscure I would not know of their existence until these guys show it. They top it off with hilarious skits that showcase Cleveland locales. Sometimes there are guests and prize giveaways. No matter what they do, it is obvious that they are united by a love of cinema and art and television as a whole needs more of that, as television has become a haven for talentless phonies, pretentious reality shows and the accentuation of complete idiots who don't belong anywhere

near a camera. Long live the Midnight Movie.

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
A great show, 20 November 2004

The Midnight Movie has become a local institution. When they're not

yelling at each other and goofing off, these guys show some excellent movies. Some of them are so obscure I would not know of their existence until these guys show it. They top it off with hilarious skits that showcase Cleveland locales. Sometimes there are guests and prize giveaways. No matter what they do, it is obvious that they are united by a love of cinema and art and television as a whole needs more of that, as television has become a haven for talentless phonies, pretentious reality shows and the accentuation of complete idiots who don't belong anywhere

near a camera. Long live the Midnight Movie.

11 out of 15 people found the following review useful:
Total grue, 3 February 2004

NAKED BLOOD is one of those movies that go way too far, showing the viewer things they don't want to see with no apology whatsoever. I had heard how extreme it was and wanted to see it. I was not disappointed, because there's an actual story happening here, not just mindless gore. Not that there's anything wrong with mindless gore...I just wasn't

prepared for the film to be so thought-provoking and beautiful.

3 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Pure pain, 31 October 2003

Watching this movie was like stepping into a parallel universe,because the characters in this movie were not regular human beings. They were

shallow beyond belief,much like the rest of this movie,which is also far too long. I can honestly say that this is one of the worst movies I have ever seen,and I've seen some really bad movies...

They (2002)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Very disappointing, 23 October 2003

The last thirty seconds of THEY suggest a better movie that could have been made instead of the one I watched. Basically, the characters are the usual bunch of stock characters you'd find in any dozen other horror flicks; there's not an interesting one in the bunch. I found myself rooting for the monsters and I wanted to learn more about the nature of these creatures. There's no suspense in this movie,or

the slightest bit of buildup; the film jumps from one scene to the other and the result is a movie that could have been so much better

than it was.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Wondrous, 11 September 2003

For every kid who ever thought there was a monster hiding in their closet comes vindication in MONSTERS,INC, a wonderfully funny and imaginative film filled with incredible visuals and surreal surprises.


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