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3:10 to Yuma (2007)
Too many holes
This movie gets three points (out of ten) from me because I am inclined to give Westerns two points more than they actually deserve.
What was Russel Crowe thinking when he accepted this role? The script has so many holes that you'll go insane. Never mind the the plot, the characters, the laughable attempts at psychology, because you will be continuously wondering "Ok, so they are bringing a dangerous criminal to justice, so why in the name of everything sacred don't they tie up and gag the man properly?!" PS: Should you have any braincells left after watching this movie on DVD, be sure to to check out the Deleted Scenes. That way you will at least end this experience on a high note, laughing at the ordeal of the scriptdoctors who must have known they were flogging a dead horse.
So what about **insert unexplained loose end here**?
If you have watched the entire movie and know how it ends, you are left with several unexplained loose ends.
The Port character has knowledge of some remote star-system, that according to renowned astronomers, he couldn't have as an earthling. This is shown by a lengthy scene in which Port demonstrates his superior knowledge about this star-system to the amazement of several renowned astronomers. So....... how DOES he know?? What about the scene with the dog? What about the trip to go up North? How did he escape the hospital, How did he return? PS: and does it ALWAYS have to be "his wife/family was murdered by a bad guy" to get a story like this started in the first place. Is there nothing else that can derange a person?
Boring, plastic people
LOVE STORY: unbelievably unconvincing and boring
GRAPHICS: not very inspired this time
ACTION: occasionally good, most of the time you think "what's the point".
LIGHT SABRE USAGE: MOST UNCOOL!!
SPOILER: expect to see a muppet and a senior citizen battle it out with telekinesis and neon signs.
Tarantino wanna-be (is not)
Nice try, definitely no cigar.
This move is NOT able to make the "twist", where you actually care about what's actually happening to any of its deranged characters.
NOR is it really scary, where it's trying to be really scary (e.g. the torture scene)
"Good riddance" was about the deepest thought that entered my mind when yet another brain was splattered against a ceiling or floor.
Being John Malkovich (1999)
When I finally went to see this movie, I wasn't aware of the plot and I hadn't read any reviews.
Therefore it TOTALLY and UTTERLY surprised me, being the BRILLIANT movie that it is!
Unfortunately, I'm sorry to say, it won't be such a surprise for *you* anymore, having read this spoiler-review... :-)
I think we may have touched on one of the few disadvantages of checking out a movie before you go see it.
The Truman Show (1998)
Must see-again movie
I would like to mention the fun I had, watching the little details in the background, such as the poster that depicts a plane being hit by lighting.
The caption below it is : "This could happen to you!
The funny thing is of course that it happens to be hanging on the wall inside a travel agency.
Ngo si seoi (1998)
Unpolished wooden shoes
Even for a Dutchman, the fact that this movie is set in Rotterdam for a large part, doesn't save it from being a little slow, boring and un-imaginative.
This stuff may be considered entertaining in the schoolyards, but for grown-ups a little more plot might be needed.
Shakespeare in Love (1998)
Americanized to the max...
If your brain is more than 3 percent active during the first 60 seconds of this film, your general Hollywood-crap-detection-alarm will sound: Take notice of the man in the street shouting something like "What's in a name..." (followed by a reference to a theatre called or renamed "The Rose").
Of course, you see the young Shakespeare dude making a mental note: "Why, that's not a bad one liner for my next play... What's in a name.. quite good, jolly good, in fact.. Must remember that.. Might come in handy"
Need I say more!?
Saving Private Ryan (1998)
Dear God! War *is* hell...
My god, the first 30 minutes are... indescribable. There are so many horrible details that come back to haunt your mind later.. The shouts.. the blood...
Hits you right between the eyes, or in the heart, burns scars into your memory...
After this, who can watch starspangled movies like "The Longest Day" or the "Guns of Navarone" without laughing at those pathetic attempts to describe war?
Fight Club (1999)
In the company of my brother and a friend we started to watch this film. The friend left, bored, and went to bed. My brother fell asleep. I barely managed keep my eyes open and see it through. We must've missed something, considering the raving reviews of other users... or maybe we were just very tired.