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The Wicker Man (2006)
An Insult to Wicca and Feminism!
As a practicing Wiccan I had high hopes for this remake until I saw it. It misses the practice of the craft on every point. It is an Insult to Feminism and an Insult to Paganism.
SPOILER!: This newly written last part in a bar where Willow & Honey pick up their next victims, Oh Please! You might as well have been filming a Girls Gone Wild and Psychotic DVD!
The original British Lion movie was more accurate. This remake is too extreme. The original had the inhabitants of the island in unity, women and men together. The insult to feminism is that the island is totally run by women with the men walking around as "Tommys"... Deaf, Dumb, & Blind, not "Pinball Prodigies". That should also be claimed as an insult to Dianic Wicca as Well! Feminism is NOT about hating men and Wicca is "And it Harm None, do what ye will". We still have bonfires but we don't sacrifice Animals and Humans in them anymore. In the original they followed the ritual correctly, even if it was disturbing. In the remake, it's nothing but total Bloodlust!
I hope the filmmakers are aware of the law of Three-Fold. They sent out this horrible remake that distorts Paganism, they get back 3X losses. The next time you do a remake of a movie with a Pagan theme, stick with the facts that we don't hunt and sacrifice animals & humans and shun out the opposite sex in our practice. Do your research and don't assume things.
The Aristocrats (2005)
Some people can't appreciate good humor from bodily fluids
I saw this recently at The Kentucky theater in Lexington. And I counted out of about 25 people (It was a matinée), 12 people walked out, feeling offended. What were they thinking? Did they think this was going to be a period piece just because of the name? PFFT! Please! We're talking about a guy (Or a girl) who comes into a talent scout's office and you have to commit yourself to describing a family act with the ugliest situations you could think of that the family would do and end it with "The talent scout said 'That's great. What do you call your act?' and the guy says 'The Aristocrats!'" I just left the theater laughing my ass off and the passersby thought I was crazy. I'll never watch a comedy film the same way.
Pole Position (1984)
He's got my command code. There's nothing I can do.
Man this was a great saturday morning toon. Wheels from Pole Position I and Roady from Pole Position II teaming up with the Darret family to combat crime. Great music, nice animation, good plot, and memorable moments.
The one episodes I remember well is "The Code". Where Greg DuMont went undercover as a spy to take down a cyber crimelord and cracked wheels' code, sending Dan, Tess, and Roady out on a chase through the desert and San Francisco.
I'd love to remake this show myself. They don't make adventure ike this anymore. I'll sit back and watch them role anytime.
One Hour Photo (2002)
The word snapshot was originally a hunting term.
I fell asleep during Insomnia, but I stayed awake during the showing of One Hour Photo. Does anyone ever stop to think if the person who processed your photos may be stealing copies of them for reasons unknown to you?
Insomnia never did anything for me. And Robin Williams has done other serious things before that movie or OHP. This movie, coming from an artist, Mark Romanek, is better than all the stale Hollywood fluff like Swimfan, Stealing Harvard, or XXX. This is because Romanek knows how to make your heart feel like it's being gripped really tight. And no one else could ever do that through a movie. I'd rather hear about a lonely man obsessed with a family instead of a girl who leaves her panties in another girl's car on purpose like in Swimfan.
Sy is a man who needs someone to love. A man like this is someone I felt sorry for, just like Norman Bates in Psycho (1960). All Sy has is his work, a knowledge of photography, and an apartment to live in. That's it. Nina, Will, and Jakob Yorkin have each other, a lovely home, and they have Sy to develop their film. So yet, Sy does have some friends, but all four of these characters have their flaws like any else would have.
Many of us have been obsessed with someone in their life, and that obsession has led to bad results for some people. I can't help but once again, feel sorry for Sy after his obsession with the Yorkin family takes it's toll. However, That should make us aware of all the scandals that have taken place in 2002. Sy isn't the only one who collects photos and obsesses over them.
So, I can't agree with the negative reviews but I will respect them. But just think about where your photographs go when you drop off your film.
9.5 out of 10
This film actually gave me INSOMNIA
Empire of the Ants (1977)
Don't misplace the Raid Spray.
At first glance, Empire of The Ants opens up like a nature documentary, explaining how colonies of ants work together. Very well explained. Then we get to the Government's anti-enviromental activity of dumping Toxic Chemicals into the ocean. And one of them washes up on a beach. About a few weeks later we look at a boat with Joan Collins (Best known to me from Star Trek:TOS Episode 28 "The City On The Edge Of Forever") as a sleazy Real Estate agent, taking some prospective buyers to a beach to look at some Property.
We later discover that the Toxic Chemical Cannister that washed up on shore in the beginning has leaked a long time. But, guess whose taking a swim in the metallic goo? Answer: those six legged creeps that get into your sugar.
While Joan is at her best trying to make a sale, a real spaz is trying to get into a girl's pants and gets a slam in his testes. Then we see a rip from The Fly, multiple eyes staring at a couple that discovers the scam. Before they can blow the whistle, what do we cut to... ANT FARM FOOTAGE! Then we see the couple get ripped up by puppet ant legs and choppers. Then we see ants walking towards a boat, and you can still see the "MATTE LINES". This is where the film loses it's hardness and becomes mister softy.
We see this all throughout the movie. The Ant farm footage is at it's best when the old couple steps out of the out house to find that they're surrounded by guess who?
Then there's the matter of the "City Under Siege". The survivors do not realize that the ants have been here longer than they thought. And that a Sugar Refinery was their base of operations. And the Queen is running the show, spraying theramones to the human population to do her biding. A Dominatrix of a different kind.
Then the survivors strike back, destroying the colony, and escaping. This somewhat brings back the strengh for a little while. Did anyone notice that the river they escape through resembles Ant Farm Tunnels?
Ok Ok I just spoiled the film. It's a rather Cheesy film for it's time, before G.L. took the effects cake with Star Wars.
Enjoyable, yes. Worth at least $10.00 for a DVD.
However, H.G. Wells wouldn't have been impressed with it. I have yet to read the story he wrote and find out what his original intent was.
Wait a sec, I hear stange noises outside my window. Oh my GOD!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Would you stop dumping Toxic Chemicals?
A Crowning Achievement.
I first watched this movie when I was Three years old. And to this day it remains a top favorite. From the start of John Williams' brilliant score and the display of the "EL" family crest, you know, the big "S" that is mistaken for standing for Superman? This film prepares to entertain you from start to finish. So many good things could be said about this film. Some could say that this was the defining moment of Christopher Reeve's career as Psycho (1960) was for Anthony Perkins.
Mario Puzo, known for his best work in the original story of The Godfather, put together a wonderful researched story staying true to the classic comic. From Krypton's destruction to Superman's Arrival on earth and discovery by the Kents, The Fortress of Solitude, and classic characters like Lois Lane and Lex Luthor. Many could also envision the classic story of The Doomed City of Pompey as the breaking ground for the destruction of Krypton, where no one believed in Jor-El's explanation that Krypton would be destroyed by natural causes, as with Pompey destroyed by a volcano, which no one believed until it was too late.
John Williams' classic award nominated score heightens the story with the situations involved. From the learnings of General Zod's attempt to form a New World Order and a Kryptonion NAZI Party, Lex Luthor's schemes to do almost the same on Earth, and the growing love bond between Superman and Lois Lane.
Finally, Superman shows you the excellent direction of Richard Donner. The director of The Omen and the Lethal Weapon films did Superman great Justice resulting in a wonderful film enjoyed by millions. And when released on DVD, definitely a collector's item for any film buff.
Superman II (1980)
And now another episode in the continuing story of...
Only a select few sequels are ever recognized as following true to a predecessor. Superman II is one of those sequels. Picking up where the original film left off, Superman Two seems to focus more on General Zod and Co.'s dream of establishing a New World Order, now that they share the same powers of Jor-El's Son, powered by our orbiting sun. But don't forget the added bonus of Lex Luthor's plan to try to give Zod, Ursa, and Non revenge by killing Kal-El (Superman) in retaliation for their banishment from Krypton by Jor-El.
Still penned by Mario Puzo's powerful mind, the story does more than make it a worthy sequel to it's 1978 predecessor. It shows you that Superman had more to face up to when he sacrificed his power for Lois Lane and learned of an arch Kryptonion war criminal who terrorized Krypton before his birth and was now terrorizing Earth.
Interesting to this was the fact that Richard Donner directed a few scenes in Superman II and was replaced by Richard Lester due to creative differences, which can break up a unit almost altogether, like the Spice Girls. Ken Thorne's music was relaxing, but his rendition of John Williams' score was still powerful, but not as gripping as the original orchestrations.
Many could wonder what the bond between Lois and Superman would be like with Lois knowing that Superman's cover was blown only to her at the end. Many could wonder what it would have been like to live under the rule of General Zod's iron fist.
As before, only a select few sequels are given respect. This should be considered one of them.
Superman III (1983)
Live at Comedy On Broadway...
Superman III. Still an Enjoyable sequel, but didn't measure up to I or II. I'd say III is considered more of a Comedy than an Adventure film. But, Richard Pryor helped to breathe life into the comedy element with his role of computer prodigy August "Gus" Gorman. Robert Vaughn does well as Baddy Corporate Tycoon Ross Webster. While he's no Lex Luthor, he still delivered. Pamela Stephenson's portrayal of 69% Ditz-31% Serious employee Lorelie Ambrosia was both funny and annoying. That high pitched voice got to me, but was tolorable compared to the Scary, Stern and Stubborn attitude of Vera Webster, the baby sister played by Annie Ross. And while it lacks the writing power of Mario Puzo, It's still enjoyable.
You could wonder if Gus Gorman's (Pryor) creation of the all knowing superior defensive ultimate computer could have been the breaking ground for the Y2K problem and the mindless schemes it has caused, had that computer, which I dubbed the Macintosh Of Death, had been a real life creation.
You could also feal sorry for Gus being used by Webster for evil. You could also wonder if Lana Lang, Clark Kent's High School Sweetheart, would be a problem with Lois Lane, who we didn't see much of in this film. Also, I wondered how people felt when Superman almost decayed into, in a way, Bizarro after exposure to the missing ingredient Kryptonite.
There is a disturbing moment in the film when Vera is pulled into the super computer's mainframe and turned into an android slave. That made me wonder if computer technology could become disturbingly powerful enough to be able to manipulate humanity and eliminate it completely. Similar situations have been seen in The "Terminator" pictures, The 1999 film "Virus", and the book "Reaper" which became the TV Movie "Fatal Error" on TBS. Possible?
An interesting thing in Superman III, When Superman faced the onslaught of The super system's missile attack, Atari provided the simulated Video Game that Webster plays, as well as the sound effects from the Atari 2600 port of Pac-Man. Another interesting thing is how the super computer ignorantly underestimated the hot and lethal potential of the Acid which led to it's destruction.
While not measuring up to the power of I or II, All in all Superman III is in my opinion a good picture.
The Death of Superman
This sequel was uncalled for. Christopher Reeve's writing contribution was okay, but the movie only gets a 3.9 on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm sure the writers meant well, but didn't expect such a negative backlashing.
I won't go into detail on this except, I can watch it, but it's also a disgrace to the talents of Reeve, Hackman, Cooper, McClure, And Kidder from the other Familiar "Warner Brothers" Superman Movie Actors.
I would recommend waiting, if this movie is released on DVD, for it to get a bargain bin price. Perhaps Superman Lives (2000) can do more than make up for this travesty in the series.
The Akira style horror conspiracy picture show.
Tangerine Dream's Haunting Soundtrack gave this movie the chilling aura it contains today. X-File(ish), yes. Not as good, no. Before young men could obsess with Gillian Anderson and her portrayal as Dana Scully and notice her mystery solving ability, only Stephen King could possibly simulate one of many possible Government Cover-ups so Top Secret, that like the mystery surrounded "Area 51", it couldn't exist.
This movie was one of the best in Secret (Biological, if you will) Weapons Conspiracy stories ever adapted from a King novel. It also gave Drew Barrymore A good benefit before her life almost went downhill. The most chilling character of all would have to be John Rainbird (George C. Scott). Just seeing George with the ponytail and eye patch scared the living S**t out of me when I first saw the flick (At 9 yrs).
A few years later in High school (18 yrs) I revisited Firestarter not just for the effect that amazed me at 9 yrs, but the story became clear why they wanted Charlie for study. Almost an "AKIRA-LIKE" situation. King's work in this movie could have been a breaking ground for "AKIRA" itself. It also displayed how a movie could show us, "What The Governments Never Tell You". But If I hear one opening strand of T.D.'s score or see Rainbird, I'll still be horrifed just like I still am to this day when I see another King screen adaption directed by the late Stanley Kubrick.