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61 reviews in total 
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One of Them (2003) (V)
3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
I'm all about bad-horror, but this wasn't even entertaining, 13 April 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

One of Them was absolutely awful. I am one of those people who scour On-Demand stations for absolutely horrible horror movies. But this one was just plain BORING. And it must have been a nice way to stay on budget by cutting out actors from pieces of cardboard and leftover set...oh those were "REAL" actors??? My bad...

It was boring, stupid and predictable. Lots of loose ends (if you're into that whole "story coming together at the end" sort of thing). I think the most INSULTING thing to those of us "in the know" in regards to the genre, was the BLATANT and may I say, BADLY done corpses stand straight up, Nosferatu style.

If I may point out some of the more questionable things: okay so if they were really worshipping "false gods/demons" then why did they actually end up having power at the end? Where actually WAS the farmhouse that Elizabeth was supposed to lead them to? And why were they going there? And if Trina knew she was going to be killed, why did she go alone into a dangerous area instead of staying in Hollywood, where she was in the beginning? Was that really "Trey" calling from the woods? What of the girl Charlene, with the whole "slitting her own throat" thing? And why was SHE hiding as well? What was with the blinding thing (also a ripoff of Un chien andalou (1929))? Not even entertaining in a BAD way, this is a definite MST3K stinker.

4 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Strange, a bit lengthy, 13 March 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I am not so mad at all the sci-ency-government conspiracy gibberish as I was the ending- it ended, for me, with a huge "WHAT?". I did enjoy Katharine Bell, a sassy but sensual heroine who had amazing chemistry with Bruce (Michael Rodgers). But COME ON! What the hell?

I think Bruce said it all:

"My reality is having a family, responsibilities and a bum leg."

So, we never get to see Bruce and Emily get together and they have odd "lives" now. It was very strange, I kept expecting them to say "to be continued" or something.

I think TT's biggest problem was the fact that, like all mini-series, it was too long. It was like Devlin and Singer had to keep coming up with plot twists. I agree with the other reviewers that the whole point of having Lou Diamond Phillips in this film was to have Lou Diamond Phillips in this film.

I don't know, very mixed feelings.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Good, but as of late has gotten irritating, 6 March 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Maybe its the inclusion of Alan Cummings- "look at me I swing everyway!" additude (don't get me wrong, I like AC), but the show has become a complete "anything goes". I have to agree with others about Dallas Roberts and Moira. I thought the job interview was degrading and horrible, but she went in completely as a man but with a womanly voice and name. I'm not saying it was right, because I was absolutely appalled by that man, but not everyone is going to be as accepting. They aren't going to understand what it's like to be her and straddle that line with gender.

The only one on the show who hasn't been completely irritating is Alice, who I feel is the most relatable. Everyone has gone through those levels of heartache. Maybe shes the only one who ever shows what shes feeling, her search for a new love, not a waiting in the wings model to sweep her off her feet.

Also with the political commentary. Enough already! It was bad enough we had to sit through Gloria Steinem's dated tirade during the Heart concert (who totally rocks, I was put off by that "intro"), but then Bette's little speech to the Fine Arts members. She couldn't have picked a MORE controversial piece to take there. I am myself an artist and an advocate for "alternative lifestyle" rights, but I didn't particularly like that piece. I wouldn't have liked it if the artist was gay or straight. If you're going to be schmoozing with people who are historically "conservative", maybe you should pick a different piece to show them. Agreed you shouldn't have to, but pick your battles! Jenny is, and always has been to me the most annoying person on the show. I absolutely hated what she did to Tim- (cheating is okay as long as its with a woman I guess), and her haircut was awful. We get it, okay? You're a rebellious writer in the midst of sexual liberation. Does everyone in the universe have to know about it? It just surprises me what a bubble these people live in. Bad enough its LA, but then its the gay community in LA. I live in Buffalo, a very "artsy, alternative" place and I love it. I'm not homophobic or against it or anything, I don't care what your preference is. But for them, there is nothing outside of their little restaurant. There is virtually no straight people in their lives (save for Kit, and maybe Alice). I don't know, maybe its just venturing away from the relatable for me.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Was an okay horror movie, 9 December 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I like to think of myself as a horror aficionado, so I feel competent to judge.

I think it is disturbing that after skimming about 34+ pages of user comments, I only found 3 entries total which mention Wade's horrible death. If Paris Hilton hadn't been in this movie (death was OKAY- I wouldn't say spectacular)- would the others get a fair shake? I didn't care about her presence one way or another. Actually I felt a little better for her- evidently its better just to hurry up and get killed right away before the guy could get you ALIVE.

Okay that being said: With Wade's scenes, actually trying to figure this out (which I know is dumb, its a movie!): wouldn't the wax have reached his eyeballs as well? And if not, wouldn't his eyes rot out eventually? Would Vincent (nice little homage to the original with Vincent Price) THEN replace them? Was anyone else cringing when Dalton KEPT peeling at his skin? If Wade was "rescued" what could really be done for him? The wax went through all layers of his skin evidently. Would they just put him in the burn unit and wait for his own body to regenerate its skin? I felt so bad for him (and knew it was really stupid for him to wander off into the creepy redneck rooms.

I am not squeamish, but I absolutely HATE sadism or psychopathic apathy (I walked out of Devil's rejects) because that kind of serial killing is too realistic. Jason down at Crystal Lake is just ridiculous- and at least his victims die fast.

So lets review, for Wade's sake: first he is attacked, has his Achilles cut so he cant run (very pet Sematary). Then gets some other wounds. Then is drugged, has all his hair (presumably everywhere) ripped out with burning hot wax. THEN has his whole body covered in boiling hot wax, unable to scream or move. THEN when HES STILL ALIVE- is positioned grotesquely at the piano there, his eyes still being able to see everything happening to him and his friend. THEN his friend tries to help him, peeling off his skin. THEN part of his face gets knocked off (still unable to move). THEN- finally gets to die- but burned alive. This is what made me physically sick in the movie. It really freaked me out. The whole cover in wax thing- fine (VERY different from the original)- but to have him STILL be alive after all that? That was just too much.

As for the twin thing, okay- but why even show us the beginning with Beau and Vince as children? Obviously they were both the "bad ones". So what with the good twin/evil twin plot? Its very different from the original- the only similarity being that the wax figures were real people at one time. At least the Prof in the first one had the decency to kill them beforehand.

0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
I cannot believe someone thought this was "realism", 30 November 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I was actually very excited about this film. I was on exchange to Scotland at the time, studying actually this period in history. I know that there was a historical Arthur, Gwenfyar etc., but I also loved the mythology behind it. I also love these kinds of period pieces.

1.) First- I am an Archaeology student- WHO was fighting WHO now? All the groups looked exactly the same and I had no idea who they were exactly fighting all the time- is that the outskirts of the Roman army, the Saxons, villagers what?

2.) I did like that Gwenfyar seem to have a pair, and they made her Pictish. They could've gone into what she was a little more, and who those people fighting with her were. I don't like that they cut out the love triangle between her, Lancelot and Arthur.

3.) Uh, Arthur was NOT Roman, or from the Roman Empire. He was part of the groups (Celts living in England, or as some call him "The Pictish King".). I don't know why they felt they needed to make him Roman.

4.) Most of the groups that encountered the Romans fought with every fiber of their being. The Roman's didn't even go further into Scotland because they were afraid.

5.) I understand the need to make a "historical" piece. But why, with the exception of a tiny appearance by Merlin, cut out any religious backgrounds of the people? The Roman Empire, for all its faults, was very free in regards to religion. Up until Constantine, that is. Couldn't they at least have Morgaine, Lady of the Lake, etc., as just plain old priestesses? The Druids gave council to the rulers of Kingdoms throughout the British Isles. Again, a reason to make Arthur a Briton.

6.) Unsatisfactory, anti-climactic ending. So they have a big wedding and thats it?

Very, very bad. Read Mists of Avalon.

3 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Wonderful variety- for horror fans looking for something different, 12 November 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

If nothing else, Masters of Horror is wonderfully outside the box. Instead of sticking to the formulaic horror movie clichés, it seems these directors were just allowed to unleash their ideas. Probably the ones that have been their "babies" for years but for whatever reason were unable to produce.

1.) "Incident on Mountain Road"- What a start to the series! Bree Turner really got to strut her stuff in this one, turning from her usual roles as "blond bimbo" to chic-heroine. How refreshing it was to see our "victim" as it were really fighting back with her killer. A mix between self preservation and the need to help others. The flashbacks were reminiscent of "LOST" to show how the past can help you in the present. My only criticisms would be that I would have liked some more about "Buddy"- was he a fellow victim, or someone who lived there? Why was he allowed to live as long as he did? Otherwise it was fantastically scary. The twist at the end was superb.

2.) "H.P. Lovecraft's Dreams in the Witch-House"- This one I didn't like as much as "Incident". It was a bit confusing- reminiscent of "Attic Expeditions" (a very bad movie)- in the way that our protagonist, Walter, couldn't tell reality from his visions. First off, I'm not going to lecture about the bad stereotypes of witches put forth here.

The witch's "familiar", the rat, was almost comical. It reminded me of Jim Henson's "The Storyteller" in its effect. Perhaps the intention was supposed to be comical. We could have had a bit more of a background on the history of the house; as for the downstairs neighbor, why did he continue to live there? Why did Walter continue to live there? Would he have still been arrested for the murder even though the cause of death was attributed to the rat? How did the rat get into the cell? Can a rat chew through a person's chest? Maybe I'm just a sucker for a happy ending.

3.) "Dance of the Dead"- Ah, now we are back on track. The appearance of Robert Englund was a treat. Jonathan Tucker (who's getting extremely sexy the older he gets) was great in this one- subtle, serene, yet below the surface was rage and sorrow and the need for love. The chemistry between Tucker and "Peggy" (the actress reminding me of Evangeline Lilly) was palpatable. The instant connection was believable.

I also thought for sure this would end badly- Jak would sell out Peggy, but he surprisingly stood by her, putting faith into her. What was important to her was important to him. It was a refreshing turn of events. Again, the twist at the end was great. My only criticisms would have been the inclusion of more sensuality, and the strange freeze-frame effect started to irritate me at times.

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Uneven horror movie, 14 October 2005

I like bad horror movies. But at the end of this film I was left with a "huh?" resounding in my brain. Just unanswered questions:

1.) The old guy, Charlie (?). How did he know about the killer? Why was he allowed to live?

2.) The killer- okay so he "clawed his way" out of his mother's body. Then what? He was in a fire? He drank Ponce de Leon's fountain of youth juice? Whats with the face and the homicidal tendencies?

3.) Why was Ned and Byron allowed to live so long?

4.) Did Saffron eventually die, nailed to the ceiling? Or was she finished off later on?

5.) If there was no apartment 4 on any floor, why did they make their attempts to "hide" that so obvious? Why not just make the former #5 apartments #4's?

6.) Why doesn't Angela Bettis eat?

I just wish we had more of an understanding of the killer, instead of some quickly thrown in nonsense about a "pagan" spell (and once again spreading the negative stereotype of the pentagram). And what did the symbols have to do with anything? It seemed that she was following a map, but it looked to me like she was just finding the symbols and looking at them.

100 Girls (2000)
2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Um, misses its own point, 28 April 2002


Yeah I watched it again. I saw Jon tucker in something recently and remembered I had seen him in this earlier, but also remembered I didn't like it.

My opinion has not changed. Even with more experience in the world and relationships, I still hate this film. If you must 100 Women is better, even if it is as perverse as a little boys dream.


This movie should really be called "100 Euphamisms"- um, did the writer/director sit DOWN and think of these? Are these common phrases among men? "Her ring around my eleventh finger". Ooh charming. Pointless, tries to act like men and women should join hands and sing "we are the world". And I'm not a feminist, but its a man's "understanding" of feminism. This is what men THINK go through our heads. Still awful.

Okay, now I actually RENTED 8 Days a Week a few years ago and found it to be mind-numbing and disgusting. Thank god I just saw this one on TV, but I will always miss that hour and a half of sleep I could have gotten instead of watching this. This movie had it's points- the guy (who of course has sex with a complete stranger in a darkened elevator) is supposed to be "understanding" these women and really getting to care about them as individuals, while at the same time turning up the heat so they take their clothes off and sneaking into their rooms and searching through their belongings. That is one contradiction. Another scene in particular which displays this again is when he is having "fun-sex" with Claire, and refers to it as "velvet axel-grease". I'm not a prude, but that comment turned my stomach. Even Sorority Boys wasn't as bad as that. And I agree with whoever on here said that the ENTIRE sorority is filled with models, which I am a student and I have never seen such a sight.

Another thing is that weird guy that hung around, the jerk that was Claire's boyfriend. Was that supposed to show men what women go through? When he was dressed as "Francesca" a guy attempted to rape him, he then proceeded to actually bite the guys tongue off...(no cops called???). What this subconsciously supposed to show the "man" coming to the rescue of the girls again?

This was kind of amusing, but I resent it trying to make any kind of real point. American Pie 2, at least showed that what you're looking for isn't whats best for you. This movie was just so trite.

Braveheart (1995)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Great film, 21 April 2002

Im not going to spew something down here that is said in 426 other comments- what a moving picture, great music and exciting story this was. In fact, I am too disgusted by reading some of the comments coming from the UK about this one. In fact, someone laughing throughout their commentary is particularly offensive. I say this not only being Scotch-Irish (and hearing for generations about our hatred for the English) because I myself have no beef with the modern day English. But this story, although perhaps inaccurate at times, is supposed to represent the overall spirit of the 1000-year old Celtic fight for their own identity. To get caught up on all the details is missing the point. Mel Gibson did a gorgeous job making this film. Not only portraying the people correctly (a time when life was short, hard and dirty) and the people's love for their homeland (the cinematography was gorgeous). So although I am an American, this film still strikes a personal note with me, and reading the comments from people today in England speak that way sends a chill through my heart. Besides...its a great film! Take it as such, and dont get hung up on the details...

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
A crashing bore, 18 August 2001

Okay, I went in thinking it would be bad. It had been lambasted prior to opening night by the newspapers and several magazines that arrived at my house all week. My friends and I attended thinking "at least Christian Bale will be good". Boy was I wrong. Poor Christian- not only was his accent bad, but his character didnt even have a point or make much of a difference at all in the film! I knew I was done for when one of the lines started (and Im not joking) "you can thank your souvlaki...".

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