Reviews written by registered user

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61 reviews in total 
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1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
In the minority, apparently., 29 August 2012

Im not the type to jump on IMDb and write reviews, but when I have questions or a movie seems to "bother" me, I feel I must. I must be in the minority to not have been blown away by this movie. All through it, I found myself saying "why are all these people here?". Brian Cox, wooden Anna Paquin, Tehmoh Penikett- why are they here? The first two seem to be recruits from the X-Men series, also directed/produced by Bryan Singer. The others seem to be people who thought it would be a fun project- fair enough.

I can see why this movie was shelved for a few years- its not something that would've drawn in tons of theater audiences. By its very name, its something that should/usually has starting actors and a few gallons of red corn syrup. And usually when a movie IS shelved, its not a good sign.

Now the "comic book" horror anthology" style has been done before- Creepshow, for instance, which this movie reminded me of in several parts (ie the zombie children). But it didn't make any sense here. Besides having people walk by, in the background et al, there wasn't really anything that tied these stories together. They Weren't part of a comic book series like Creepshow and adding in "Earlier" and the credits in comic book font doesn't make it so!

Also the "hot chicks that are really something else" was almost a direct rip off of the Tales from the Crypt episode "House of Horror". The "rite of passage" part was kind of cool, but what do we get then for this "turn the tables" piece of female empowerment? A bunch of sorority bunnies stripping and having the camera zoom in on their breasts.

The pacing of this movie was tedious- I understand the building up of tension, but then why start off in a hardcore way? Was it just to be a typical horror movie type "beginning"?

I also agree with another reviewer- the "Halloween" rules were not especially set down. They actually killed and mutilated someone because she blew out her jack'o'lantern? If Halloween is now a grisly gut-cutting festival, why have that Rhonda explain about the original origins?

The zombie children sketch was something else that puzzled me. I understood it all, but then I kept waiting for something else to happen, like the zombies to come into town or something. But no, they can defy time, space, death and submersion, but a simple elevator keeps them down below.

Sigh. It wasn't awful, but its not something Id watch again. It was simply boring and nothing new for the genre.

Bunnyman (2011)
16 out of 18 people found the following review useful:
War of the IMDb voters!, 11 August 2012

I can come into this honestly, for I had never heard of this movie before, never seen any trailers or had any expectations of this film. I consider myself a horror buff, not an expert but as a viewer who has seen her fill and can enjoy an exquisite masterpiece just as much hopeless schlock. Both of us run the gambit of low-budget to blockbuster. Bunnyman, however commits a serious movie crime: its freaking boring.

I can appreciate moody, atmospheric, tense. Things hinted at, mysterious beings. This however, was boring. The first HOUR gave us the token girl being killed, and then, well, we have some road rage and walking. And some talking. And some bickering. And a pointlessly disgusting hillbilly. Then a little killing. Some torture porn.

All in all, it was pointless, sloppy and lazily written. The absence of splatter gore didn't bother me too much, it was absence of caring about any of these characters, trying to find a motivation for our victims (he sets down the chainsaw-?) and trying to I guess fill in the back story of our killers since the movie didn't help at all in that regard.

I saw another reviewer bring up "The Room"- like "Birdemic", all three of these movies suffer from being out of order, story lines that go nowhere and pointless characters. Find another movie for atmosphere, if thats what you're into. This is NOT "David Lynchian"- this is freaking boring. If you're looking for atmosphere, try "Surveillance" with Bill Pullman, directed by Jennifer Lynch. If you're looking for splatter gore, try "Wrong Turn"- I suspect thats what this movie was trying to rip off. If you're looking for low-budget splatter comedy, try "Monster Man" by Michael Davis. Those are some ones I can recommend, that actually ENTERTAIN.

0 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
A teen with a troubled past tries to make a new home in a town with its own past, 27 June 2009

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I agree with the other reviewers on here- not terrible, and it started OFF strong, but fizzled and became extremely sloppy.

I have mainly questions, which addresses said sloppiness, rather than a re-hash of the plot you can already find here: 1.) If indeed the kids were killed by the conductor, why would they push cars to safety? They weren't actually hit by a train, and when they were abducted, they were in a stopped and safe position by the tracks.

2.) I actually suspected Penn of being the killer for a while- so right away, I didn't question why/how he was at the Depot- then after he was killed, I now wonder how/why he was there.

3.) How did the cops know she was in the cemetery? Also, when did Melanie find out that there were none of the other kids buried there? 4.) The Mayor- this is sort of silly- but the guy would have been at LEAST in his 80's- he looked to be maybe in his early 70's...was this just an attempt to get a semi-known actor (Geoffrey Lewis, actually 73) in the movie? Just a few things wrong- otherwise it got kind of boring. But at least they tried to make something original.

The Wickeds (2005) (V)
2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Whats to spoil?, 16 November 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I love bad horror movies, but I actually turned this one off because it got to be really boring. It was a mix of Amityville Horror, Return of the Living Dead, Night of the Living Dead, and a piece of lint I guess. It was more movie loaf, real movie pieces chunked in form.

I have some comments: 1.) Decide what you're going to be! Are you a zombie flick? A ghost/haunted house flick? Possession? Vampire? 2.) Most zombie movies are pretty good about this, but if we are supposed to assume that most of the zombies are coming out of their graves, not just fresh & turned kills, why would they be buried in jeans? A wedding dress? Completely nude? Did a prom bus turn over near the cemetery? 3.) The zombie caught instantly on fire.

4.) The actors- yeah they were pretty bad. And the blonde chick had the worst hair, it was like Christina Crawford from Mommie Dearest! 5.) Ron Jeremy, in here for novelty, sounded like he trained with Howard Cosell. But of course, hes not really known for his voice...

6.) Ah yes the Ancient Curse from the 1970's...Yeah the "Vampire King" or whatever- German Primse- looked like Captain Spaulding & Clint Howard had a baby.

7.) Could the beginning have been any more directly ripped from the Return of the Living Dead movies? Those were so campy and ahead of their time, but c'mon! 8.) I was laughing so hard during the "slow mo" action scenes. yes he jumps from a second story porch onto a huge pile of hay! Action! It was the Walker Texas Ranger Lever.

9.) So...there are members of the Sex Pistols and deBarge buried there? At least try people! 10.) As a woman I appreciate making out and foreplay, etc., but that was the longest "sex" scene I have ever witnessed! And sex didn't even occur! 11.) Okay wasn't the Vampire guy already IN the house? Then why was he outside again trying to get back in? I don't know what to was like a poor-poor mans Troma. All that I can forgive- if its at least entertaining, interesting. This was really boring.

BloodRayne (2005)
2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
May not be "fine cinema" but very entertaining!, 7 November 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I saw some of the comments on here, and yeah okay the acting wasn't the best, but everyone involved seemed to at least try to give it their best. Im a 24 year old woman, and I found myself quite a few times channeling a 13 year old boy saying "sweet!"- some of her moves were awesome. Don't get me wrong, I made plenty of jokes, but overall I thought it was pretty entertaining.

I've seen MUCH worse given way better ratings, so it surprises me a little. I saw the Unrated version- aye yaye yaye, one of the hottest sex scenes I've EVER seen in a movie! Although this movie may have a lot of negatives, it was never really *boring*. Now if you want a movie that sucked AND was boring- try watching DOMINO. That was plain horrific.

Billy Zane really didn't figure in, did he?

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Um...okay!, 3 November 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This was okay, but I found myself basically laughing through the whole movie- I actually STOPPED the movie when I saw Eli Roth, and ran upstairs to make sure this Wasn't "his" movie...I would've stopped watching immediately.

*Sigh* This is another instance of "WHY Didn't THEY JUST LEAVE FROM THE GET-GO?" *Nice of Freddy there at the end to have the ramp and fire-ring all ready for the big stunt.

*Why did they split up??? WHY??? I don't even know what to say about the rest of this, it was AWFUL. And what was with that ending? Is that supposed to make us all feel bad? Well, it doesn't!

Dr. Chopper (2005) (V)
0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Odd, but funnily enjoyable, 15 July 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I'm a B-Movie fan, so I set myself down for a great treat when I read the description of "Dr. Chopper". We seem to have 4 different story lines going on here- namely, one, being that lesbians are complete morons, a tortured park ranger (I though Park Ranger's carried guns), a "Doctor-murderer" who no one has caught over 20 years in the same patch of woods (and who looks like Frankenstein from Death Race 2000) and the group of horny teens out in the woods.

I HOPE this was supposed to be funny as well (c'mon, the Doctor thought he was "hot" 20 years ago? He looked like the Sandman from the Metallica video). And I like how the Park Ranger ran away from a woman about a foot shorter than he was. The kid who played Nick was a TERRBLE actor, and the other sympathetic characters (Jimmy, the blonde guy) were taken out first.

Anyway if you can get by the many many "huh's?", its pretty funny. One more question: with all his nurses dead, was he going to do a heart transplant on himself? In conclusion, as Tom Servo says "The movie that delivers more 'huh's' per second!".

Detour (2003) (V)
1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
The Hills Have Eyes...but no budget, 24 June 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Let me just preface this by saying I've seen worse. A LOT worse- see "Death Tunnel", for one. And I'm sure the director of this one simply wanted to make a popcorn flick.


1.) A.) Okay so lets open up with some "hot lesbian action". I've actually driven cross country across the desert, and I can say, without a doubt, wearing shorts that small and tight would definitely give you some problems down the road. Women will know what I'm talking about.

B.) So she sees the gigantic insano guy coming towards her, and continues to stand there?

C.) Why did the other feel it wise to get OUT of the car? And how come she got so far ahead when running?

2.) The cowboy at the rave looked like Depeche Mode's "Personal Jesus" video.

3.) So lets see, the B-horror checklist: the "wild" girl, the straight girl, townie that warns them, artsy boy, goth girl, the PDA couple and of course, "Spcecial-K" who looks like Billy Zane in Demon Knight. Who respectively look like rent-a-center versions of Paris Hilton, Eva Mendes, Jason London, C. Thomas Howell as Hugh Laurie as Rumsfeld as Pete, Ali Larter, Dan Cortes and Tori Spelling.

4.) A.) Don't RV's have bathrooms? If so, why didn't he go to the bathroom in there? He did later on!

B.) Longest pee ever.

C.) He didn't notice the dripping appendage before?

5.) Whne the RV crashes, I didn't see a little girl- actually thought it was a fully cooked headless turkey.

6.) When LOST in the desert, it IS customary to ask the following very important questions? Does that affect my thighs?...hotpants?...bikini top?....short shorts? The girls changed outfits like 30 times.

7.) Nice of the Cannibals to make a warning sign. 8.) Neil still tried to flag down the "Human Head bumper mobile"? 9.) They had to tell the guy to lock the door? Also, when trying to raid the enemy cave, lets shout at each other as loud as we can, throw our heavy flashlight and also let them know we have almost no ammunition left.

I could say a lot more, but I don't want to.

4.) Yes how very mature for college kids- tell us your gay!!!!

5 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
I agree with the reviewer above, 8 June 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I watched this AFTER seeing "Death Tunnel" (this being, without question, the worst movie I've ever seen in my life) so you can understand I went in rolling my eyes a little at seeing the directors and producers of that cinematic gem being in charge of this one. First of all, I thought the director and producer were the same guy. They both are Kid Rock meets Dawg the Bounty Hunter. I watched the TAPS investigation, and I am not a skeptic- I think TAPS is the closest one will ever get to a scientific method in the field. That was cool and believable- I do believe they are haunted.

But this, like the reviewer above mentioned, like taking a tour. Okay a tour, fine, but the "investigators" and "group leaders" seemed to make a pretty penny and have a financial investment into whether its haunted or not, so when THEY have fantabulous stories, I have to take it with a heaping teaspoon of salt.

As someone else mentioned, I could make out whatever they wanted me to see in the picture about 50% of the time. The rest of the time, I couldn't make out anything. Also without any context to the photos- time of day, type of camera, moisture in the room, dust particles (which 75% are what the orbs are), weather and a ga-gillion other factors, I cant accept them. I also cant help thinking that some might be doctored.

Why would that band keep the numbers from the door? Vandalism? Also during the TAPS investigation, they tried to dig up the death certificates of those nurses- and they only found one which was ruled "accidental" (people didn't want to officially proclaim suicide). Yet when one of the guides was mentioning this, he said "yep, and its marked suicide." It really felt like the guides to the haunted houses here in October.

I DID however like the interviews with the patients and staff from the old hospital(s), that really gave it a lot of perspective and a personal touch. I'm also glad that they mentioned that the staff had the best of intentions, and weren't some ghoulish-wardens. They weren't the best methods, but its all they had. They were desperate to stop the disease.

5 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Oh I got some comments for this one..., 6 May 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Basically this whole movie can be summarized in ONE sentence: "Okay, better get going now...why aren't you leaving???????" I see others had the same "WTF's" has I had, so I don't feel so bad about this review: 1.) The whole beginning sequence was laughable, it reminded me of that Simpson's commercial "Canyonero" for their SUV.

2.)I just laughed when they had the music playing over the cop's radio talking.

3.) What is this supposed to be a very sad commentary on our State Troopers? That first of all, she wouldn't get him to get OUT of his car before showing her badge? And that one on one with absolutely nothing else around you could STILL lose your suspect.

4.) They just got Civil War re-enactors to be the extras, right? 5.) Its 28 Days Later in the Old West.

6.) The credits went for around an hour, I think. House of 1000 corpses fan much? 7.) If this IS an attempt to comment about slavery and race relations, why did they make the one "carjacker" in the entire desert a coked-up black guy with a gun? 8.) His gun changed a few times, semi, handgun, revolver...

9.) Some of the slow motion action scenes were tailor made for Conan's Walker Lever.

10.) The people turning into zombies was very reminiscent of the Return of the Living Dead movies, but without the campiness or originality.

11.) Ah yes, our new sort of hero: Coked Up Guy!!! 12.) I agree- I think Bloody Bill DOEs look like Mad Dog Tannen (Back to the Future 3), the McDonald's moon-man and William Sadler as the Grim Reaper (Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey).

13.) When "Eric" set off the grenade, why did smoke come out of only the top floor window, when it was blown off ground level? 14.) Bloody Bill apparently didn't have to do that much. He spent 95% of his time simply standing there.

15.) Gwen sensed something was wrong with the "Eric" in cowboy attire coming towards them, yet she continued to simply stand there, why? 16.) Bloody Bill can tele-transport from place to place- so why didn't he locate himself into the little tiny room they were hold up in? 17.) The end was a total ripoff of the Friday the 13th's, when someone pretended to be Mrs. Voorhees at the end to track the bad guy.

Basically I found myself asking everybody Didn't JUST LEAVE!!!

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