Anais Watterson: I guess there's no way around it, Jamie. We're gonna have to partner up, go to the library, and find the real culprit together. Maybe even develop an unlikely but meaningful friendship! Not because I'm desperate to have a friend, and my therapist says it's because I force myself on people, and I should take things slow, and "What are you doing at my house? No, I don't want to ride the tandem bike with you. It's 1:00am. I'm calling the police." No! Our souls will fuse like polyester pants with leg skin after an accident with boiling water! But, like, in a good way. This could be beautiful. Potentially life-long friendship. Maybe...
[Jamie has left]
Anais Watterson: Thank goodness you didn't stick around to hear that. It's like my brain got emotional food poisoning and the nearest exit was my mouth.