- Schwoz: Jasper, just give Ray his jean shorts.
- Ray Manchester: They're called "jorts," dude. It's not cool when you call them jean shorts.
- Henry Hart: Or when you wear them.
- Harriet: Was that the boy you almost kissed in your dream?
- Charlotte Page: Shhhh!
- Harriet: Are you sure you don't like him that way, 'cause he is a sweet piece o' candy?
- Piper Hart: The problem, Doug, is that I gave you the password to my Hobo Go account.
- Doug: You did, and I really...
- Piper Hart: And in exchange, you were supposed to give me the password to your Redflix account.
- Doug: I know, and I'm...
- Piper Hart: But you didn't do that, did ya, Doug?
- Doug: I can't. It violates the terms of the agreement that I clicked on when I made the account.
- Piper Hart: NOBODY READS THOSE!