The Hitchhiker
- Video
- 2016
- 2h 25m
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Featured review
Weak tea hetero porn from Stills & Mills & Craven
Movie fans hearing the name Craven think of horror maestro Wes Craven, a filmmaker I interviewed along with New Line founder Bob Shaye back in 1984, when horror icon Freddy was just beginning to put his fingernails on the gore map. But I think of Craven Moorehead, a journeyman pornographer whose colorful moniker I first encountered a decade or so ago in the credits on the endless stream of popular Peter North blow-job videos.
He gets a directing credit from Bree Mills, shared with Alan, for this compilation of nothing vignettes cranked out for their website Pretty Dirty. Only four segments instead of the usual 5 are provided, but total manages to eat up nearly 2-1/2 hours of running time nonetheless.
Title scene is presented last, as India Summer in an expensive sports car deigns to stop and give aid to stranded Markus Dupree, suffering from engine trouble.
Taking him home, she conks Markus over the head, like in one of those dreadful soft-core "Knocked Out Tied Up" fetish videos. Suddenly the Russian porn actor is her sex slave, but sloppy direction has him becoming the dom during their humping scene, an unplanned turnabout India refers to explicitly in her interview during the DVD's BTS short subject. This vignette has a trick ending, cutesy rather than clever.
The other scenes are wimpy, including a very silly segment titled "The Peeper". Tiff Watson and Alice March are having a Sapphic tryst when neighbor Brad Knight makes like a Peeping Tom, visiting Tiff's house and masturbating as he watches the duo through an open bedroom door. When spotted, he is invited to join them in a threesome, ho-hum.
After a desultory segment titled "The Mission", the show gets really dumb with "The Sleep Walker", wherein cute blonde Abby Cross finds her step-dad Tommy Gunn sleepwalking and then humps him. Highlight is the very corny ploy of Tommy sporting a huge, standing up boner under the covers for her to stare at wide-eyed, and then even cornier gimmick of him at first playing dumb and pretending to be still asleep as the kid starts to service him. Well, one has to expect crypto-incest to rear its ugly head, pun intended, in a Bree production.
He gets a directing credit from Bree Mills, shared with Alan, for this compilation of nothing vignettes cranked out for their website Pretty Dirty. Only four segments instead of the usual 5 are provided, but total manages to eat up nearly 2-1/2 hours of running time nonetheless.
Title scene is presented last, as India Summer in an expensive sports car deigns to stop and give aid to stranded Markus Dupree, suffering from engine trouble.
Taking him home, she conks Markus over the head, like in one of those dreadful soft-core "Knocked Out Tied Up" fetish videos. Suddenly the Russian porn actor is her sex slave, but sloppy direction has him becoming the dom during their humping scene, an unplanned turnabout India refers to explicitly in her interview during the DVD's BTS short subject. This vignette has a trick ending, cutesy rather than clever.
The other scenes are wimpy, including a very silly segment titled "The Peeper". Tiff Watson and Alice March are having a Sapphic tryst when neighbor Brad Knight makes like a Peeping Tom, visiting Tiff's house and masturbating as he watches the duo through an open bedroom door. When spotted, he is invited to join them in a threesome, ho-hum.
After a desultory segment titled "The Mission", the show gets really dumb with "The Sleep Walker", wherein cute blonde Abby Cross finds her step-dad Tommy Gunn sleepwalking and then humps him. Highlight is the very corny ploy of Tommy sporting a huge, standing up boner under the covers for her to stare at wide-eyed, and then even cornier gimmick of him at first playing dumb and pretending to be still asleep as the kid starts to service him. Well, one has to expect crypto-incest to rear its ugly head, pun intended, in a Bree production.
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- lor_
- Jul 19, 2017
Details
- Runtime2 hours 25 minutes
- Color
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