Himself - Host: And finally, new rule: if the new normal is a president who has bragged about sexual assault and walking in on naked teenage beauty pageant contestants, and who has spoken lustfully about his own daughter, and once said of a fifth grader "I'm going to date her in ten years", tell me again why someone like Eliot Spitzer is so terrible?
[applause]
Himself - Host: Elliot Spitzer, who you may recall had to go away after a hooker scandal, because when a hooker blows a politician, it puts a lobbyist out of work.
[laughter]
Himself - Host: But this double standard has got to stop, where all the Democrats' horn dogs have to go live on a farm, but the Republican hound is allowed up on the furniture in the Oval Office. So Spitzer wanted to bust a nut. So what? He also wanted to bust bankers and insider traders, and did. If he were a...
[applause]
Himself - Host: If he were a Republican today, what he did could totally be spun. Dating call girls? Please. He was providing struggling millenials with a living wage.
[laughter]
Himself - Host: He wasn't cheating, he was having alternative sex.