Lucifer (TV Series)
Infernal Guinea Pig (2018)
Tom Ellis: Lucifer Morningstar
Photos
Quotes
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Marcus Pierce : My brother is in Hell?
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, of course. In fact, he's our oldest tenant.
Marcus Pierce : I knew it. Do you know how many times I've tried to tell people Abel is the asshat? No one ever believes me.
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Chloe Decker : I am choosing to be here, and if you're not gonna help, you should probably just leave.
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, we both know I'm not gonna do that. I'm your partner.
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Marcus Pierce : Turns out Abel killing me didn't remove the mark.
Lucifer Morningstar : Mm-hmm. Yes, I got that from the whole "you still being alive" of it all.
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Mazikeen : We all learned to torture by torturing him.
Marcus Pierce : What'd you do to him?
Mazikeen : Well, Abel would be out partying, and then, you'd show up.
[Does a gorilla walk]
Marcus Pierce : I don't walk like that.
Mazikeen : Yeah, you do.
Lucifer Morningstar : Yes, you do.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Once upon a time, there were two brothers... Cain and Abel. They fought, as brothers often do, over everything.
[Points to drawings of stick figures on a whiteboard]
Marcus Pierce : What's that supposed to be? Are we shaking hands or holding spiders?
Lucifer Morningstar : That's you and your brother pummeling each other over a pet rock. And here's you two scamps tugging on both ends of a snake.
Marcus Pierce : That's not how it happened.
Lucifer Morningstar : Well, artistic license, my friend.
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Lucifer Morningstar : How much do you hate your brother on a scale of one to ten?
Marcus Pierce : One thousand, infinity plus one.
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Lucifer Morningstar : He's your brother. Where do you think he'd go?
Marcus Pierce : I don't know, we're not exactly in touch. It's been a few millennia.
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Lucifer Morningstar : He's a spry one. Or she. No sign of her anywhere. I mean, him. This is head-spinning, isn't it?
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Lucifer Morningstar : All we need is your fingerprint.
Bree Garland : Well, my finger goes wherever the lady tells me it goes.
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Lucifer Morningstar : Is it me, or is your plan going down in flames?
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Lucifer Morningstar : How do we find Abel? Keep an ear out for someone babbling in Sumerian?
Mazikeen : Oh, no, no. He speaks in English. And all the romance languages. Arabic, Mandarin. I mean, he's a little dated, and his Hindi needs work.
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Mazikeen : Me and the other demons would get bored, so we'd switch up the Hell loop. Okay? It would always be you killing him, but at different times, different places. He was a fast learner.
Lucifer Morningstar : So, what you're saying is Hell made him multilingual and completely adaptable?
Marcus Pierce : And we put him in the body of a young woman.
Mazikeen : Smooth move, boys.
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Marcus Pierce : We just spent the last half hour wandering past billboards of women's lingerie.
Lucifer Morningstar : And your problem is?
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Lucifer Morningstar : Where would I and therefore Abel go next?
[Looks at attractive woman in a tight dress]
Lucifer Morningstar : Wherever she's going.
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Chloe Decker : [to Bree. after diffusing the bomb] I think that means you can take your thumb off now.
Lucifer Morningstar : And don't tell us where you want to put it next.
Mazikeen : [Cut to Maze, fighting Amenadiel] Up your butt!
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Marcus Pierce : It's now time for Plan "C."
Lucifer Morningstar : I didn't realize we had one.
Marcus Pierce : We don't. But we'll think of something.
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Lucifer Morningstar : if we pop Abel into a body this young, you could be stuck with him for another 70 years. That's a lot of quality time.
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Lucifer Morningstar : I had the perfect title for The Plunge 2. 2 Deep 2 Plunge. With the number two, each time,
Lucifer Morningstar , Chloe Decker : Instead of... the word.