- [first lines]
- Sam: [sitting in darkened room looking at light speckles from disco ball] In 1910, Robert Falcon Scott set out to become the first person to reach the South Pole. A year and a half later, he arrived, only to discover that Roald Amundsen had beat him by 34 days. And if that weren't bad enough, on the journey home, Scott and his entire team froze to death on the punishing tundra. You asked me what this makes me think of? That's what it makes me think of. Freezing to death under the night sky.
- Paige: I want you to take me to Winter Formal.
- Sam: What?
- Paige: Think about how much fun we would have with all the music and dancing and wearing fancy clothes.
- Sam: Those are three of my least favorite things. Oh, and raisins, because I don't like to eat things with wrinkles.
- Acquaintance: Have you gone through the bases?
- Sam: What bases?
- Acquaintance: The bases. First base, kissing. Second base, boobs. Third base is the privates. And the home run? Sex. That's the order it goes in. My cousin works at a car wash, and he knows all about girls.
- Sam: That's a fortunate resource.
- Destiny: [outside the strip club] I'm Destiny.
- Sam: I'm Sam Gardner.
- Destiny: So why are you standing out here all alone, Sam Gardner?
- Sam: My girlfriend wants to have sex, but I'm nervous and ill-prepared. I've never even seen boobs before.
- Destiny: Want some advice?
- Sam: Yes, please.
- Destiny: Just be kind to her. That's all that really matters. Don't worry about the sex stuff. At a certain point, biology will just take over.
- Sam: Biology is my favorite subject.
- Destiny: Good for you. But just so that you'll feel a little more prepared...
- [opens her coat]
- Sam: Oh. Wow!
- Destiny: Yeah, I know. Good luck with your girlfriend...
- Zahid: [emerging from strip club] 'Sup, Destiny?
- Destiny: Hey, Zahid...
- [last lines]
- Julia Sasaki: [waiting in hospital bed] Finally. My phone died an hour ago. I've been sitting alone with my thoughts. And I'm in the middle of a breakup, so that is not a fun place to be.
- Doctor: Well, we won't be performing an X-ray today.
- Julia Sasaki: Why not? My ankle's okay?
- Doctor: Miss Sasaki, are you aware you're pregnant?