- Johnny reads rejected network slogans. Paul Sorvino (The Oldest Rookie (1987)); Jon Lovitz (Saturday Night Live (1975)); Abbe Jaye plays the flute with her nose.
- The comedy bit after the monologue is rejected TV network slogans, after Johnny reads through various actual slogans used since 1980. Abbe Jaye plays the "nose flute", a much smaller recorder-like instrument played with air blown from the nostril. She recalls an occasion a few years earlier in which she was in the front row of the show's audience, and Johnny made a comic remark about her; she then demonstrates playing the "William Tell Overture", using parts of her face as percussion instruments. After that, she plays the nose flute, and then two nose flutes (one per hand and nostril) simultaneously, while blowing bubble gum. Finally she plays two flutes while standing on her head, with Johnny holding her ankles for stability. She offers to teach Johnny to play, but he declines. Jon Lovitz does bits of his various characters from "Saturday Night Live", primarily the Pathological Liar and the Master Thespian. He also talks about growing up in Tarzana as compared to now living in New York, and notes that his father was a doctor who once examined Johnny. After Johnny recalls Paul Sorvino's role as a televangelist in "Oh, God!", Sorvino does a few minutes as his character Willie Williams. He then discusses his new series "The Oldest Rookie", and slips into various voices as he recalls working as a teenager as a social director at a Catskills resort.—lenab9011
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