The Magicians (TV Series)

The Flying Forest (2017)

Hale Appleman: Eliot Waugh

Photos 

Quotes 

• Margo Hanson : For whatever stupid reason, you're the high king of an entire land. You have to be responsible, Eliot.

  Eliot Waugh : Since when are you, Filory Clinton?

• Eliot Waugh : [about his golem]  Me likey.

  Margo Hanson : You're thinking about banging yourself, aren't you?

  Eliot Waugh : Shh, shh, shh. No, no. Doing your clone is more like AP-level masturbation.

• Eliot Waugh : I'm married... to a woman.

  Javier : I have a boyfriend. but he's on another continent, so it doesn't count. And where is your wife?

  Eliot Waugh : On another planet.

  Javier : [scoffs]  Definitely doesn't count.

• Dean Fogg : The Beast shit in the Wellspring?

  Eliot Waugh : No. No. Ember. Ember shat in the Wellspring.

  [sighs] 

  Eliot Waugh : I think he meant well. He probably didn't know how hard it would be to clean out.

  Dean Fogg : And now magic is failing on Earth because of shit, proving once again that comedy and tragedy can coexist in the same goddamn sentence.

• Todd : I heard you guys were dead. So I threw this massive rager in your honor.

  Eliot Waugh : The fact that you just called it a rager sickens me.

  Todd : Thing is, it went great, and everyone had so much fun that I kind of-...

  Eliot Waugh : Became the new me. Todd, answer truthfully. Are you wearing my vest?

  Todd : I am wearing your vest.

  Eliot Waugh : Keep it.

  [Walks away with Margo] 

  Eliot Waugh : New plan: I give up on Fillory and dedicate myself completely to destroying Todd.

• Fen : Budget?

  Eliot Waugh : Citizen petitions. I want everyone to stop wanting things.

  Fen : [chuckles]  Great time to ask for something?

  Eliot Waugh : Your father makes knives for a living and knows where I sleep, so... Ask away.

• Eliot Waugh : I am ill-equipped to be a king.

  Dean Fogg : I am no better equipped to teach one. Being an adult is recognizing your responsibilities. A bunch of my students went and conquered another world.

  Eliot Waugh : [Sheepish]  They more, like, gave it to us.

  Dean Fogg : Either way, it doesn't look great for me. It reeks of Earth privilege.

• Eliot Waugh : I don't belong here. I'm not ready to be a king. I wasn't done being me.

  [sighs] 

  Eliot Waugh : It was so much simpler when there was just one giant evil dick trying to kill us. Now we're just

  Margo Hanson : Grown-ups.

• Eliot Waugh : Why does everything smell so great?

  Margo Hanson : Because your doppel-banger hasn't met cocaine yet.

• Eliot Waugh : Honestly, I am in over my head. I'm not even in control of which world my body is awake in. My sexually aggressive wife could wake me up at any moment in Fillory.

  Dean Fogg : Eliot, there are certain student-teacher boundaries which I prefer not to cross.