- Stu Ruckman: In the autopsy, they found Juju was on EPO and cocaine, also some Insulin and Anabolic Steroids, Oxabolone, and, then Nandrolone, trace amounts of Norethandorlene and Furazabol. They even found some Heroin in his system. There was also Letrozole, Cyclazadone, some Estrogen Receptor Modulators, Raaloxifene and Tamoxifen, probably to ward off breast growth. A lot of Oxycodone in his blood. Phentermine, as well, Ortemamine, Bunolol, Lobatealol. Plus, apparently he had hopped Ethanol and taken a couple of MDAs. He clearly smoked some Crystal Meth and Crack and there was a Hormone from monkey testicles that he had cooked down into a broth that he drank. He also had apparently eaten at least one sandwich at Arby's.
- [Jabin Dolchey gets his clothes torn off]
- Lucy Flerng: He was an odd bird, and he seemed proud of what everyone could see was a very tiny, misshaped penis.
- Lance Armstrong: It was like a pistachio nut in a dirty bird's nest.
- Marty Hass: People dope! Yeah, they risk their lives. But, you know, this is a sport with literally hundreds of dollars on the line and dozens of fans that - Stakes are medium!
- Lucy Flerng: Throughout his life, Slim excelled at many different sports; but, obviously struggled to stand out like his uncle; because, he wasn't the only black athlete - until he found cycling - which was very white.
- Adriana Baton: Because I am woman, everyone zhink I cannot do what a man can do. How can you ride withzout the dick and the balls? How can you ride a bike with - a - how is it you say - pussy? So, zis is why I had to disguise myself as a man.
- Marty Hass: You know, there's an old saying in Nigeria, "Is there no honor amongst blood diamond thieves?"
- J.J. Abrams: The France Two coverage of the 1982 Tour de France, it wasn't just impressive footage for a news team to capture. I call it groundbreaking footage for film - period. This wasn't the French New Wave, this was the French News Wave. Don't put that in the movie. That - um - it's too good of a line. I want to get it right: This wasn't the French New Wave - it was the French News Wave.
- [pause - smiles]
- J.J. Abrams: That was it.
- Lance Armstrong: That final day of the 1982 Tour is what made me want to become a cyclist. It was like a great film. Action. Romance. Drugs. I was like, sign me the fuck up.
- Mike Tyson: Cyclists are incredible athletes as far as endurance goes. But, a great deal of them fight like little bitches.
- Olusegun Okorocha: Here in Nigeria, we hate Marty Hass! Marty Hass would walk into a bar, then he would go over to the juke box and put on Bob Marley "Legend" and be shouting "African music!" Jamaica is not in Africa.
- Rex Honeycut: Well, you seem very, very proud of your homeland.
- Marty Hass: In deed I am. You know, I miss it, being here in France. I miss it back home and I bless the rains down in Africa.
- Rex Honeycut: Right. Right. Like the song.
- Marty Hass: Oh, I'm not familiar with that.
- Rex Honeycut: Its the lyrics to the Toto song, "Africa."
- Marty Hass: Ah, I'm not familiar with that. At any rate, It's gonna take a lot to
- Marty Hass, Rex Honeycut: Grab me away
- Rex Honeycut: From you.
- Marty Hass: From you! That's what I was going to say!
- Rex Honeycut: Shall we do it in harmony?
- Joe Buck: One of the most important elements of cycling is drafting and that's when the cyclists take turns breaking the wind in the front of the pack.
- Gustav Ditters: I was never a cheater. You say I should have understood that. If you put cheetah blood in you it wouldn't make you a cheater.
- Narrator: In what is now become known as the Tour de Pharmacy, athletes took drug abuse to a level never seen before or thereafter, creating supermen in superman spandex. Attempting to traverse 2,179 miles and over some of the most treacherous mountain ranges on the planet.
- Lucy Flerng: Marty and Adrian became the first publicly out gay athletes - while, simultaneously being in a heterosexual relationship.
- Commentator: Ladies an gentlemen, we are in for an incredible finish! They are absolutely neck and neck right now! Getting closer. Getting closer! This is one for the record books! And the winner is - Slim Robinson by a long shot. It looked really close from the other angle, but, no, it was not close at all. Those de-focus lens can be really deceiving.
- Lucy Flerng: Cyclists are hunks.
- Joe Buck: I still really don't love watching cycling.
- Lucy Flerng: With the upper body of an alien and the downstairs of a horse.