Stephan Krosecz: Hebert

Quotes 

• [after fending off Zorin's first assault] 

  Pip Bernadott : Now listen, ma chère. We are in ze thick of it. Zey are getting close, and we cannot pull out now. We shall continue to hold zem off as long as we can, but we need you to flank zem and...

  Police Girl : This is a reach-around joke, innit?

  Pip Bernadott : Bon Dieu, I'm becoming predictable. Whatever, listen: if ze British are good at anysing, it's hunting. And you are hunting ze deadliest game of all.

  Police Girl : Nazi vampires.

  Pip Bernadott : Damn it, zat used to sound so cool! But zen you say it so much, and "Nazi vampires" just sounds stupid.

  Police Girl : Oh, right? Maybe we'll find somethin' else, like maybe a Nazi werewolf.

  Pip Bernadott : Merde, zat sounds SO much worse.

  [some Nazi rockets explode against the side of the building] 

  Pip Bernadott : Oh, right, World War Trois. Ma chère! Like a high-class escort, make zem pay for every inch.

  Police Girl : I can't believe I find you attractive.

  [she runs to her battle station] 

  Pip Bernadott : Donc quoi?

  [he realizes what she just said] 

  Pip Bernadott : Wait, WHAT?

  Willingham : Uh... so, sir? What's the over-under on us finishing this mission alive?

  Pip Bernadott : About as good as any of us actually getting laid tonight.

  Willingham : I dunno. Those vampires do look kinda rapey.

  Hebert : [disturbed]  Holy shit, dude.

  Willingham : Oh, who the fuck am I offending, the NAZIS?

• [Seras breaks out of Zorin's illusion and awakens to find that the Hellsing HQ is undamaged and no one is hurt] 

  Erholtz : [cowering in fear]  Please don't stick me in your giant vagina!

  Mercer : [to Erholtz]  Dude, what the fuck!

  Hebert : [holding his arm, believing it's been cut off]  Welp, high-fives are gonna suck now.

  Police Girl : Hold on, did she...

  [she realizes the Wild Geese are still under Zorin's spell] 

  Police Girl : Oh, come on!

  Pip Bernadott : Open ze doors of hell for me, Grand-père! I'm coming home.

  Police Girl : Oh, for Christ's sake.

  [she picks up her rifle and fires at the real Zorin, grazing her face] 

  Zorin Blitz : Argh! My face, you CUNT!

  Police Girl : Ya cunt touch this!

  [the giant Zorin illusion fades away and the Wild Geese snap out of it] 

  Hebert : Holy shit, my arm's back!

  Erholtz : Oh, thank God! I thought she was going to crush me... with her giant vagina.

  Mercer : [disturbed]  Okay, what does your Internet history look like?

  [Seras grabs Pip's shoulders and shakes him] 

  Police Girl : Mr. Bernadotte! It was just an illusion! Like push-up bras or stilettos!

  Pip Bernadott : Wait! You wear a push-up bra?

  Police Girl : I don't wear a bra.

  [beat] 

  Mercer : [turned on]  Ooohhh, my God...

• Pip Bernadott : [Seeing giant Zorin]  Saint putain de merde!

  Hebert : What?

  Police Girl : Holy fucking shit!

  Pip Bernadott : [Meant literally]  What she said!