Eileen Montgomery: Pip (Child)

Quotes 

• [Seras shoots down a barrage of V-1 rockets] 

  Pip Bernadott : [over the radio]  Twenty-four for twenty-four, ma chère. You must be a bane to clay pigeons everywhere.

  Police Girl : Actually, if you wouldn't mind, Mr. Bernadotte, my name is Seras Victoria.

  Pip Bernadott : How peculiar. I was under ze impression by ze rest of ze staff zat your name was Police Girl.

  Police Girl : [sighs]  You know what? Fine, "ma chère" it is. Just pay attention for any possible incoming.

  Pip Bernadott : So, ma chère, tell me a little bit about yourself.

  Police Girl : You're serious?

  Pip Bernadott : Come now, we know so little about one anuzzer. And let's be honest, zis may be ze last chance we get to share. So, ma chère, what was it like growing up in England?

  [Seras has a vivid flashback to her parents' brutal murder] 

  Police Girl : I grew up in Leeds. Nothing happened.

  Pip Bernadott : Sounds boring.

  Police Girl : Yes. It was. How 'bout you?

  Pip Bernadott : Oh, um, in ze French countryside, wis my...

  [flashback to Pip's childhood] 

  Pip (Child) : [crying]  Grand-père! Is it true? Is it true what the children at school say? That you are mercenary? That you KILL people?

  Pip's Grandfather : Oh, little Pip. It is much more zan "killing people." It has many complicated facets. I once helped topple a fascist Sous African government in a week. I mean, it was replaced by anuzzer in two, but I still got paid.

  Pip (Child) : But Grand-père, my fellow schoolchildren, they taunt and bully me for it!

  Pip's Grandfather : Wait, quoi? How are you not ze coolest kid in school? Who is it who dares to mock you? Is it zat son of ze butcher, Jean-Paul? Perhaps zat little piggy shall find a grenade in his lunchbox, so when he opens it, it pulls ze pin.

  Pip (Child) : [shocked]  Please do not kill my friends.

  Pip's Grandfather : [kindly]  Oh, mon cher petit-fils... I'M not going to do it.

  Pip (Child) : [squeaking]  Quoi?

  [flash-forward to present] 

  Police Girl : Oh, my God!

  Pip Bernadott : Oh, relax, it was a flashbang. A little bit of tinnitus never hurt anyone. Now, how about zese Nazi fucks?

  Police Girl : Well, I got a couple of grenades for 'em. They ain't flashbangs, though.

  Pip Bernadott : Ah, but zey'll flash and zey'll bang... just how I like it. Now, give zem a proper Hellsing welcome.

  Police Girl : So, a mountain of over-the-top violence, swearing, and unnecessary screaming?

  Pip Bernadott : Exactement.

  Police Girl : Oui, fucking monsieur!

  [she aims her cannons at Zorin's zeppelin] 

  Pip Bernadott : OPEN FIRE!

  [Seras screams and starts shooting]