- Captain Nancy Santiani: What the hell were you doing?
- Laura Diamond: I was simply...
- Captain Nancy Santiani: No! That was a rhetorical question! Do you want to know what I was doing at 3:30 this morning?
- Laura Diamond: Is that a real question or a rhetorical one?
- Laura Diamond: [Voicemail message] You've reached Detective Laura Diamond, NYPD, 2nd precinct. If this is an emergency, you should be calling 9-1-1, not me. Leave a message
- Jake Broderick: Jennifer and I are taking all of the boys for Chinese. You mind if I keep ours for tonight?
- Laura Diamond: More Xbox time for me
- Laura Diamond: [Whistles and waves the Meter Maid who is about to give them a parking ticket] Hi. By the power vested in me, I hereby deputize you to secure this crime scene. Congratulations
- Meter Maid: Does that come with more pay?
- Laura Diamond: Eh, that is an HR question, but there is a dead body in there, so no one comes in or out, until the cops come
- Meredith Bose: The other cops
- Laura Diamond: Hello Reynaldo. You're awfully buddy-buddy with the 82nd
- Reynaldo: Fun fact: I actually work with the entire NYPD, not just you, Diamond
- Jake Broderick: What are you doing?
- Max Carnegie: Laura is on desk duty, thus I'm on desk duty. Lots of paperwork on my lady's plate
- Jake Broderick: Why are you doing it at her desk?
- Max Carnegie: So is looks right on the server, duh
- Jake Broderick: Then, where is Laura?
- Max Carnegie: Since I'm doing this, she's doing the coffee run. Quid pro quo
- Jake Broderick: Laura went out into the freezing cold to get you a coffee?
- Max Carnegie: I know, go figure. The girl really hates her some paperwork
- Laura Diamond: [Looking at her father's phone] Ugh! FYI there is an incognito browser for if you're gonna be looking at adult content
- Leo Diamond: Whom am I hiding from? I'm an adult
- Max Carnegie: There you are! Sorry to interrupt whatever this is. Ehm, I found what you wanted on Lucy Diamond. It's so funny, this woman has the same last name as you
- Jake Broderick: [Grabs the folder from Max] You're not supposed to be working your sister's case and you got Max working it too?
- Max Carnegie: [Acts surprised] Oh, so she's your sister. That makes so much more sense. And why don't I know you have a sister?
- Laura Diamond: Half
- Jake Broderick: That's enough Max
- Max Carnegie: Fine, but there will be conversation about this at a later date. Page two is the rap-sheet for what I now assume is your brother-in-law
- Laura Diamond: [sighs] They weren't married
- Billy Soto: Whoa, side panel has been tampered with! I'm thinking car trap
- Meredith Bose: Cool! I don't know what that is
- Max Carnegie: Ehm, Santiani is with a detective Harris. They're asking for you. And by asking I mean: run away!
- Captain Nancy Santiani: [to Laura] You are already off the case! And if your interference jeopardizes a conviction, God help you, 'cause I won't
- Laura Diamond: [to Lucy] And don't even think about lying, cause I will smack the living...
- Captain Nancy Santiani: Diamond!
- Laura Diamond: Sisters can smack sisters
- Captain Nancy Santiani: Not in a police precinct they can't
- Laura Diamond: If you're just gonna sit there, judging, I can go back to my seat
- Captain Nancy Santiani: What? Did I say a word?
- Laura Diamond: I'm a mind reader
- Captain Nancy Santiani: Oh, you should spend less time reading people's minds and more time reading them their rights
- Laura Diamond: Paranoid much?
- Captain Nancy Santiani: It's true in parenting as it is in police work: you hope for the best, but you plan for the worst