Elementary (TV Series)

Ready or Not (2016)

Lucy Liu: Dr. Joan Watson

Quotes 

• Sherlock Holmes : Things are quite good between me and Fiona. You expressed some concern last night. I would allow, however, that the, uh... the mechanics of the relationship have, you know, left me in something of a mood of late.

  Dr. Joan Watson : The mechanics.

  Sherlock Holmes : Yeah. We've been taking it slow.

  Dr. Joan Watson : [it takes her a beat to get it]  You haven't had sex yet.

  Sherlock Holmes : We have not. It's been challenging. I've not been exclusive for quite some time. For the last few years, sex has been a... a calisthenic performed with like-minded individuals. I can't of course commit to Fiona and keep up my exercise regimen, so... it's fallen away. It's been 47 days since my last act of sexual congress.

  Dr. Joan Watson : That's a long time for you. A really long time.

  Sherlock Holmes : Yeah. Well. Fiona's special, so I've decided to make a special effort.

• Sherlock Holmes : I'm cataloguing the steps on our journey out and out, to keep them clear. It'll help me visualize where the authorities will find our bodies.

  Dr. Joan Watson : You don't really think that the -

  [they lock glances and then she rolls her eyes: he got her] 

• Dr. Joan Watson : [Looking at The Keep website advertising luxury survival bunkers for the uber wealthy]  It's not how I pictured prepping. I mean, when you say survivalists, I see... bearded guys wearing gas masks digging holes in their backyards to build shelters.

  Sherlock Holmes : That's the garden variety prepper. The Keep caters to a uniquely vile subset, the wealthy prepper. Along with the myriad doomsday scenarios that haunt ordinary preppers - global pandemic, nuclear holocaust, socialist zombies coming to eat their guns - the wealthy ones also worry that the poor are gonna rise up with torches and pitchforks. Which, one could argue, wouldn't be the worse thing in the world.

• Sherlock Holmes : How do you not hear it?

  Dr. Joan Watson : Just lucky I guess.

  Sherlock Holmes : Perhaps it entered your mind unconsciously. Were your dreams filled with two flounders slapping together, a ketchup bottle being squeezed repeatedly, whilst a nearby walrus issues a death rattle?

  Dr. Joan Watson : Okay, I get it.

  Sherlock Holmes : I assure you. You do not.