iZombie (TV Series)

The Whopper (2016)

Robert Buckley: Major Lilywhite

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Major and Ravi describe to Clive how they found the dead body in the open field] 

  Clive Babineaux : Geo-whatting?

  Ravi Chakrabarti : Geocaching. It's a real world outdoor treasure hunting game. Strangers leave caches, post the GPS coordinates, and then people like us go out and find them. That's what we were doing.

  Clive Babineaux : What sort of treasures?

  Ravi Chakrabarti : Oh! Let's see. Uh, Matchbox cars, sets of crayons.

  Major Lilywhite : Yeah. I found a wheat penny once.

  Clive Babineaux : So treasures for children.

  Ravi Chakrabarti : It's more about the joy of discovery. Why do men climb mountains, Clive?

  Clive Babineaux : Because it tests their endurance, their courage, their sense of themselves as men? Oh, I'm sorry. Were you drawing a comparison?

• [Major sees Don E. for the first time] 

  Major Lilywhite : Scott E?

  Don Everhart : Nope. I'm flattered, though. That was one good-looking man.

• [first lines] 

  Major Lilywhite : [Major and Ravi dig in the open field in search of the Utopium on the dead body]  Ravi! Ravi!

  Major Lilywhite : [Ravi takes his headphones off]  We did it! There he is! Zombie cure, here we come!

  Ravi Chakrabarti : It isn't one of our guys. Ours has been dead for nearly two years. This one's only a couple of months gone.

  Major Lilywhite : Then who is this?

• [Blaine gets reacquainted with the tied-up Major at Blaine's funeral home] 

  Blaine DeBeers : What do you think of my latest business venture? Your girlfriend gives it her old zombie stamp of approval.

  Major Lilywhite : Liv doesn't...

  Blaine DeBeers : No, she's totally down with me getting my brains from people that don't need them anymore. We're BFF's now. Who else is gonna feed Seattle's zombies? At least until you kill them all, right?

  Major Lilywhite : I'm not killing...

  Blaine DeBeers : Shhh, the lying to save your life section comes later.

• [Blaine asks Major to bring his dad body back to him] 

  Blaine DeBeers : I'm gonna need my dad back. God, do I miss that man.

  Blaine DeBeers : [Blaine tries to cry]  Nope. Can't do it. You need me to show you a photo, or?

  Major Lilywhite : No, I have no doubt which one is your dad. Imperious, fancy dresser, owns a bust of himself.

  Blaine DeBeers : [Blaine smiles]  That's the guy!

• [Blaine threatens Major to get him his dad back] 

  Blaine DeBeers : Uh, Major.

  Major Lilywhite : Yeah?

  Blaine DeBeers : I know where you live. I know where Liv, um, lives. Give me my dad or things are gonna get ugly fast, okay?

• [Major questions Liv about hanging around with Blaine] 

  Olivia Moore : I'm not palling around with him. One of the weird, um, 'perks', at my job is that I get to know just about every funeral director in the city.

  Major Lilywhite : You didn't tell me.

  Olivia Moore : Yeah, because I thought you would do something unwise with the information. Drop by the grenade store.

• [last lines] 

  Major Lilywhite : [Major, Ravi and Liv find the dead body in the open field]  Oh! Whoo!

  Ravi Chakrabarti : Whoo-hoo! Whoo! Yeah! Yay!

• [Blaine threatens Major with his life by wanting to know how he's finding his zombies to kill] 

  Blaine DeBeers : Bad news, brother. Today is the last day of your life. So you better get straight with your God, 'cause here comes the big one. You comfy in there? I ask, because it's where you're going to be spending eternity. But because I'm a forgiving man, I'm willing to let you decide which way you go out. There's quick and painless, a bullet straight to the heart. I know, a head shot would be quicker, but that brain of yours is gonna fetch a pretty penny. Or... we turn you into a zombie and we bury you in this box, where you will suffer forever with an abiding hunger for brains that you will never sate.

  Major Lilywhite : Wait. What do you want to know?

  Blaine DeBeers : Well, it's obvious there's a leak in my organization. I mean, how else are you finding my zombies? Give me a name, and we'll go the quick route. Scout's honor. Otherwise it is... express train to Zombieland.

• [Major tells Blaine that he was given a zombie list] 

  Major Lilywhite : I was given a list. Three hundred names, all suspected zombies, all connoisseurs of fake tans, hair dye and hot sauce. My job was to figure out which ones were zombies and which ones weren't, and get rid of the ones that are. I was told that if I didn't do it, they would take out every single person on the list, and they would start with Liv.

  Blaine DeBeers : Oh. Who's the 'they'? Let me know who's making you do this.

  Major Lilywhite : No.

  Blaine DeBeers : You must have a pair on you the size of watermelons.

  Major Lilywhite : If I told you, you have no reason to keep me alive. And aren't you a little bit interested to know if you're on their list?

  Blaine DeBeers : Maybe a few more hours in the dark will make that quick death more appealing. Close him up. I'm not going to miss you.

• [Major tells Blaine that he doesn't kill his zombies but freezes them] 

  Major Lilywhite : My handlers don't care which zombie I take out next as long as I make my way steadily down my list.

  Blaine DeBeers : And they have you freeze them?

  Major Lilywhite : They think I'm killing them.

  Blaine DeBeers : Killing sounds easier.

  Major Lilywhite : Yeah, except I'm not a murderer.

  Blaine DeBeers : I bet you tell that to all the families grieving for their loved ones.