- Miss Mary Sutherland: I can't believe I'm actually meeting you. I've read everyone of your fan fiction stories at least a dozen times.
- Dr. Johanna Watson: A dozen?
- Miss Mary Sutherland: They're the best. You're the best. Tuesdays are the best.
- [to Holmes]
- Miss Mary Sutherland: She posts new chapters on Tuesdays. She writes the best case fiction on the message boards. My favorite is the one where Mulder and Scully investigate a wife, whose husband thinks she's a vampire. He thinks she's been sucking the blood out of their newborn. Only, it turns out...
- Sherlock Holmes: The step son's been poisoning the child.
- Miss Mary Sutherland: Oh! You read it?
- Sherlock Holmes: I lived it.
- [from trailer]
- Ms. Melissa Sutherland: Honey, everything is fine.
- Mr. James Windibank: Everything is not fine. Everything is fucked.
- [from trailer]