- [Ravi finds out just how bad Major is at scoring drugs]
- Major Lilywhite: I was wrong about the bathroom being the place to score drugs. There's uh, definitely transactions going on in there, but not the kind we're looking for. How are you holding up?
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: Everyone looks like a drug dealer in this lighting. I have to say, I'm disappointed, I thought you'd be better at this.
- Major Lilywhite: Because everything about me says I'd be awesome at scoring drugs?
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: You bought a grenade out of the trunk of a car. How can you not figure out how to buy drugs at a nightclub?
- Major Lilywhite: It's a different skill set. If you want a bazooka, I can get you a bazooka in fifteen minutes, at cost.
- [Clive compares Liv to a box of chocolates for her wackiness at the Alpha Beta house]
- Clive Babineaux: You're like that box of chocolates from Forrest Gump, I never know what I'm gonna get.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: You're getting chocolate, bro.
- [Ravi calmly lectures Liv about her pranks on him while he was asleep, putting make-up on his face and writing 'fart' on his forehead]
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: [Liv smiles the whole time] I know you can't fully control your actions when you're on a brain. But I really need you to try and rein in the bro. We would be in serious trouble if someone came in and saw how you arranged the medical skeletons.
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi holds his hands up to his face] And this, this is unacceptable. What if someone came in to identify their loved one and the medical examiner had 'fart' written on his forehead?
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: [Liv chuckles] It isn't funny.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: It's pretty funny.
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: It really isn't.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: It kinda is.
- [Liv sits with Major on the bathroom floor, as he lays his head in her lap, while Major comes down from being on Utopium]
- Major Lilywhite: [Liv begins combing Major's hair, as he whispers] I won't let anything happen to you.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv whispers a frat boy response back] And I won't shave your eyebrows.
- [Liv arrives to the crime scene of the murdered Chad Wolcoff]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Chad's corpse wears a Caesar outfit] What happened to Caesar?
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: Oh, he came, he saw, he was stabbed several times in quick succession with a sharp cylindrical object. Likely an ice pick.
- [Liv prepares herself on finding out the killer of Chad Wolcoff]
- Clive Babineaux: I'm really gonna need a hand with this, so let me know when things get extrasensory.
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: [Clive walks off as Ravi whispers to Liv] Well, I hope you like yager bombs and homoerotic subtext.
- [the scene cuts to the scenes of Liv microwaving, eating, and washing the dishes after eating Chad's brains]
- Clive Babineaux: [Clive calls Liv] Can you meet me upstairs?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Yes.
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: [Liv turns, burps, and walks forward] And so it begins...
- [Liv has a flashback of Chad arguing with one of his frat brothers]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv looks at frat brother Randy] Hey, you. How did Chad ruin your life?
- [the frat brothers all look around at each other]
- Brody: [Randy look at his brothers, as Brody yells out in a high pitch yell] Damn!
- [Clive and Liv interview Becky who rented the Captain Wozzles costume]
- Becky: Uh... I'm a furry.
- Clive Babineaux: A what?
- Becky: I'm into costumes that look like stuffed animals. Like sexually. It's a fetish, okay?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv happily responds to wanting to know more] I was not expecting that. Uh, here's what I'm going to need. I'm going to need details, photos.
- Clive Babineaux: We don't need details or photos.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Unless you have them, and they're hilarious.
- Clive Babineaux: We definitely don't need details or photos.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv pauses, looking to Becky] Yes, we do.
- [frat boy Brody gives a speech for Chad]
- Brody: [the Alpha Beta house chants Chad's name] I remember this one time, me and Chad were kayaking in the San Juans. He told me, if I ever die, bro, 'I don't want it to be lame.' He said that he wanted his death to be like his life. An epic party, where anything goes, but clothes!
- [the crowd cheers as Brody walks forward only wearing a stack of pizza boxes over his crotch]
- [Liv strolls over the Alpha Beta house on a search to find Chad's killer]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [narrating] Right now, I've got one word in my bro-cabulary, and that word is 'Justice'. I am going on a vision quest of all vision quests. I will not rest until I find the bastard who...
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv screams out when seeing a table] Beer Pong! Time to get your balls wet, bro!
- [Ravi records into his phone the effects of the Utopium drugs he's on while in the rave club]
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: [Major watches] I feel amazing. I'm so present, so in my body, but I'm also floating. Like watching the experience be experienced. Like I literally don't have a care in the world! I'm just floating on goodness. When did everything get so beautiful?
- [Major talks to Liv from the bathroom floor as she still wears her frat outfit]
- Major Lilywhite: Am I that messed up, or are you wearing police tape?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: You're that messed up.
- [Gilda walks up to Liv who finishes a game of Beer Pong]
- Gilda: Hey! I know you're going for gold in the bro-lympics. I'm just wondering how that's a work thing?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Right. My bad. Time to focus.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv grabs a kid's beer and chugs it in front of Gilda, walking off] You got this, bro. You got this.
- [Ravi listens to all of his phone recordings of himself from the night before while he was on Utopium at the rave club]
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi listens to the recording] Bubbles... Are... Magical!
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi skips to the next] I'm lagging, swagging, high on the wagon that she dragging! Blow her brain out the back with goods I'm packing! Weezy...
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi skips to the next] Major, you know what we need for the house? Velvet! Major. Major. Major! Major - Major.
- [Ravi shows Liv the dead body of a drug dealer from the rave club]
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: All four victims are missing teeth and fingernails. The detective on the case thinks someone was sending a message.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv and Ravi walk up to the body on the table] And this is the guy who sold you and Major Utopium at the club?
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: I buy drugs one time, purely for research purposes, and this is what happens. How bad must my karma be?
- [Blaine extorts money from his father, Angus Debeers]
- Blaine DeBeers: This story ends with me taking this chair, this desk, this office, your entire company. The only thing that means anything to you. I will watch you walk out of here with a cardboard box full of paperclips and K-cups. It's the dream that gets me out of bed each day. And after I watch that play out, I'm gonna stick you in the same hellhole where you stuck grandpa.
- Angus DeBeers: He babied you.
- Blaine DeBeers: He loved me. You just don't know the difference.
- Blaine DeBeers: [Blaine throws his father's check book at him] Make it out for half a million. Look at me. Chip off the old block.
- [first lines]
- Verna Addis: [Major watches the television in his kitchen] My father has been missing for two days now. He's six-feet tall, with brown hair and brown eyes. If you've seen him, or have heard of anything at all, please contact the Seattle Police. Please help us find our dad. We love him so much and we just want him to come home.
- [Blaine asks his funeral make-up artist, Candy Baker a question]
- Blaine DeBeers: You know what I fear more than death?
- Candy Baker: Love?
- Blaine DeBeers: Unrealized potential.
- Candy Baker: Oh.
- Blaine DeBeers: I am overflowing with potential, and I'm tapping every last drop.
- [Brody comments on the empty pumping from the corner of the frat room]
- Brody: Oh, hey, I think we killed that.
- Clive Babineaux: [Clive turns around to see Liv pumping air out of a keg] What are you doing?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: Coaxing the flow to the hose.
- [Clive stares Liv down as Liv drops down the hose walking off]
- [frat brother Austin, tells Liv and Clive how serious Chad Wolcoff could be]
- Austin: Look. Chad wasn't just pranks and stuff. He was always there for his brothers. When you're doing your fourth funnel, and you're not gonna puke, but you might still give up, he was the guy yelling, 'Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!'
- [Ravi tells Major that he's thinking of trying the Utopium drug]
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: I've been mulling it over, and I think it would be beneficial for me to try some. You know, so I could better understand its effects.
- Major Lilywhite: Isn't that kind of like slapping a bear to better understand being mauled to death?
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: No. It's like smacking a bear to better understand physical exertion and adrenaline. Field research is incredibly helpful. Experiencing how Utopium works in the body could help my research immeasurably.
- [Major bumps into Liv, who calls him bro when trying to talk to him]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: I'm on frat boy brains at the moment, and everything's getting filtered through the boy-zone layer.
- Major Lilywhite: [Major chuckles] I'm on frat boy brains. 'No big whoop.' Just like you're doing a cleanse. Eating dead people brains.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: It's just a fact of my life right now. Look past it, please. I wanna catch up.
- Major Lilywhite: Sorry, bro. No can do.
- [Liv chugs down a beer as her roommate Gilda walks in]
- Gilda: [Liv burps] Bad day?
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: I got smacked down by someone I used to be tight with. It was harsh.
- Gilda: Hey, I'm happy you're drink-through-the-pain type. Not the sad-girl-surrounded-by-empty-ice-cream-pints type.
- [Brody hits on Liv upstairs at the frat party]
- Brody: Come on, let's go get naked and cuddle. Just kind of see what's what.
- [Liv gets in a taxi with Major and Ravi who are still on Utopium]
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: You guys are the best And - And can I just say how glad I am we're all in the know over the whole zombie thing.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv whispers with the cab driver in the front seat] Not cool, bro.
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi looks at Liv] I am your bro.
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi looks at Major] And I'm your bro.
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: [Ravi tells the cab driver] And I'm your bro.
- Dr. Ravi Chakrabarti: [Liv gets a text message, as Ravi tells Liv] And I'm a bro to whoever's texting you.
- [Blaine waits for his father, as Angus DeBeers walks into his office]
- Blaine DeBeers: 'And Alexander wept when he realized there were no more worlds to conquer.' Do you weep, Angus?
- Angus DeBeers: Let me guess, business has been so bad you're reduced to making your own deliveries.
- Blaine DeBeers: [Blaine points to his own head] No. The only brains I brought today are right up here.
- [last lines]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [Liv visits Major to pick up her phone, wanting to talk to Major, knocking at his bedroom door] Major? It's me.
- Major Lilywhite: [from the other side of the door] I left the phone with Ravi.
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: I just want to say 'Hi'.
- Major Lilywhite: [through the bedroom door] Kinda busy.
- [Liv hangs her head down and walks off, as we see Major laying in bed snorting more of the Utopium drug]
- [Liv watches Sonny get arrested for the murder of Chad Wolcoff]
- Olivia 'Liv' Moore: [narrating] Our lives are a collection of choices. Sonny chose to avenge his father. I chose to not tell my fiancé I'm a zombie. We make our own beds. Seems beneath our dignity to whine when we are forced to sleep in them. But Major held me... Held me and told me he would let nothing happen to me. Maybe, just this once, there's a do-over.