Gortimer Gibbon's Life on Normal Street (TV Series)

Mel and the Mel-Functioning Brain (2015)

David Bloom: Stanley Zielinski

Quotes 

• Gortimer Gibbon : Where was Marie Antoinette born?

  Mel Fuller : France.

  Gortimer Gibbon : [holding up a file card]  Uh, it says here "Austria".

  Mel Fuller : Of course she was. Hand me the, uh, the-the thing - the inky, writey tool?

  Stanley Zielinski : You mean a pen?

  Mel Fuller : Pen?

  Stanley Zielinski : [to Ranger]  This is a pen, right?

  [Ranger nods] 

  Stanley Zielinski : Okay, good. I thought I was calling it something wrong all these years.

• Gortimer Gibbon : Mel, are you okay?

  Mel Fuller : I don't know why I couldn't remember what a pen was called.

  Ranger Bowen : [sighs]  I do. I worried the day would come.

  Ranger Bowen : [filling a mug to the brim with water]  This is Mel's brain...

  Ranger Bowen : [picking up a large marble]  And this is Marie Antoinette.

  Stanley Zielinski : Wait, what was the cup again?

  Ranger Bowen : Mel's brain and this is Marie Antoinette.

  [Ranger drops the marble into the mug, splashing water all over the table] 

  Ranger Bowen : [indicating the spilled water]  And this is the word, "Pen".

  Gortimer Gibbon : So that means?

  Ranger Bowen : Mel's brain is full.

• Stanley Zielinski : Listen, if there's any possibility that you could like this girl in the future, you should avoid this kiss at all costs.

  Gortimer Gibbon : Why?

  Stanley Zielinski : Like Ranger said, it's not for real. If you kiss her, Abigail will never see you as anything but, well, a scene partner... and I think you both know I speak from complete inexperience.