Lady Dynamite (TV Series)

Pilot (2016)

Maria Bamford: Maria Bamford

Photos 

Quotes 

• Karen Grisham (Agent) : Maria, I'm the most powerful talent agent in this city or galaxy. And you know why? Every time I walk into a room, I know exactly how I would kill each person I see.

  Waiter : [Enters will drink on a tray]  Arnold Palmer?

  Karen Grisham (Agent) : Elbow to the forehead, golf pencil through the heart.

  Maria Bamford : I think he meant the drink.

  Karen Grisham (Agent) : A fucking beverage. Fuck off, I'm in a meeting.

• Maria Bamford : [like a wind-blown model]  It's not what's *in* your head, it's what's *on* it.

• Marilyn Bamford : How was your day, sweetie?

  Maria Bamford : I don't wanna go back. They're angry and they they want me to get angry. And I'm not.

  [slurping] 

  Maria Bamford : I'm not angry.

  Marilyn Bamford : How does that make you feel?

  Maria Bamford : Fine.

  Marilyn Bamford : Give it time. You'll get angry.

• Maria Bamford : Well, I know a lot of you guys are pissed off. I've been pissed off all day, you know? And here's the thing about being pissed off is if you're really pissed off, the joke's probably on you.

• Maria Bamford : It doesn't matter if you piss people off, what matters is the people who show up after that. Those are the people to hang on to.