- Douglas Davenport: Okay, look, I just don't know if I'm ready to be a dad.
- Bree Davenport: Said the father to his three teenage kids.
- Bree Davenport: [hearing about another brother] Well, when do we get to met him?
- Douglas Davenport: Whoa, whoa. I just talked to him for the first time. I don't think either one of us is ready for that.
- Donald Davenport: Well, what did HE say?
- Douglas Davenport: That he's ready to meet me.
- Douglas Davenport: Oh, hi, Donny. We were just about to have some pie. You care to join us?
- Donald Davenport: Well, my hips say no but my lips say yes.
- Donald Davenport: Keeping secrets from your kids is a terrible thing to do.
- Douglas Davenport: You lied to Adam, Bree and Chase their whole lives.
- Donald Davenport: Yeah, but technically, they're YOUR kids, so I get a free pass.
- Douglas Davenport: Then give me another chance?
- Daniel Davenport: I... guess I could - depending on what other bionics you can give me.
- Douglas Davenport: [chuckles] Why don't we just start with a simple monthly allowance?
- Douglas Davenport: [checks his wallet] Uh, actually, I'm a little short right now. How 'bout some heat vision.
- Donald Davenport: [to Bree] Are you saying you don't want to hang out with me?
- Adam Davenport: Well, if she's not, I am.
- Chase Davenport: Oh, come on. Have him visit. It'll be fun to have a little brother around.
- Leo Dooley: Yeah, because Leo's just some meaningless dude who's been living in your house for years.
- Adam Davenport: Mm. Thanks, Leo. Took the words right out of my mouth.
- Donald Davenport: You know, every time you say "no more secrets," another one pops up - and just when we're starting to trust you again!
- Bree Davenport: Well... I... *I* don't trust him. Half those bracelets he's wearing are Tasha's.
- Douglas Davenport: You know, I'm not the only person in this family who lies. You never told Leo you ran over his iguana and replaced it with a robot.
- Leo Dooley: Iggy was a robot?
- Donald Davenport: Well... yeah, but... I mean, the fact that you didn't notice, you gotta respect the design.
- Daniel Davenport: Would it be cool if I take some pictures?
- Adam Davenport: Sure. Head shots are right there. Five bucks if you want me to sign it, ten of you want me to write "Your friend, Adam."
- Chase Davenport: Well, at least you all had fun at the amusement park.
- Bree Davenport: Oh, not as much fun as we had at your sixteenth birthday party.
- Adam Davenport: Ooo...
- Chase Davenport: I never had a sixteenth birthday party.
- Bree Davenport: Yeah, you did. You just weren't invited.
- Daniel Davenport: Do you know how many girls I would have gotten had I'd known I had bionics?
- Douglas Davenport: You should talk to Chase. It's not a sure thing.