Doctor Who (TV Series)

The Husbands of River Song (2015)

Greg Davies: King Hydroflax

Photos 

Quotes 

• River Song : [sees the Doctor lying in the snow, laughing]  Is something funny?

  King Hydroflax : [in bag]  Who dares laugh at Hydroflax? You shall be crushed! You shall scream in fear! Let me out of this bag!

  River Song : This is a serious mission in a critical phase. There is nothing to laugh about here.

  The Doctor : [laughing]  We're being threatened by a bag! By a head in a bag!

  King Hydroflax : [in bag]  I shall make dust of you. My enemies are meat for the devouring!

  The Doctor : I can't approve of any of this, you know, but I haven't laughed in a long time.

• King Hydroflax : Can you save me, Surgeon?

  The Doctor : Well, that depends upon what's wrong with you.

  River Song : There's something in his brain.

  The Doctor : You could have fooled me.

• King Hydroflax : I'll have you flogged and flayed and burnt. I will crush every last remnant of you from this universe.

  River Song : How dare you! I'm your wife.

  King Hydroflax : You planned to murder me!

  River Song : Don't change the subject.

• Nardole : Don't cross your arms.

  The Doctor : He's a lying down person. I don't like lying down people. It's so untidy.

  Nardole : Keep your arms by your side, like she said.

  [the Doctor puts his arms by his side] 

  River Song : You are my one true love. the only husband I will ever have.

  [the Doctor crosses his arms angrily - Nardole taps him and he uncrosses them] 

  River Song : My time with you has been too short.

  King Hydroflax : You have given me days of adventure; many nights of passion.

  The Doctor : Oh, hah!

  [he crosses his arms again] 

  Nardole : Why do you keep crossing them?

  The Doctor : Because they cross, I've got cross arms.

• King Hydroflax : Why are you doing this? Who are you?

  River Song : I'm Professor River Song. You have an ancient artifact of great value to good people, and whatever it takes, I'm going to bring it home to them. You have stolen so much from so many, King Hydroflax, and I'm the woman who's going to steal it all back!

• The Doctor : [muffled annoyed shouting from the bag]  Sorry. It was my stomach. I have an irritable bowel.

  King Hydroflax : [in bag]  My revenge will be merciless! I will rip you open and devour you!

  The Doctor : It's having a day.