The Charnel House

OK so this is my first movie review. I felt obligated to write it, and this is why....

This movie deserves MAYBE a 3 out of 10. After checking, all of the users who gave this movie rave reviews have only written one review ever, which was for this movie alone. Basically people that are probably associated with the creation of the movie that want to make it sound amazing, when it really just isn't.

To be honest, this movie just had no substance. No suspense, no actual scary moments (I say this because horror is listed as the genre), no decent or interesting characters that you end up caring about at any point. Don't get fooled by the fake reviews, I would highly suggest not bothering with this one.

This is a bad movie. Don't waste your time. Derivative, predictable, no suspense. Badly written, badly directed, badly acted. Unoriginal tosh. There is nothing to recommend this drivel. Any good reviews are fake.

Okay, I would probably give this three stars except for the glaringly obvious fake reviews that bumped the rating points enough that I wasted time trying to watch this clunker. It's not good. It's really not.

I get how incredibly time-consuming, complicated, expensive, exhausting and exhilarating it must be to make and be part of the community that pulls any production together. Maybe by the time it's all over and the people involved get to watch what they've made, they can't help but love it.

I wasn't one of those people. I'm one of the people who watches films like this and wonders who on earth invested the time, money and talent and still ended up with something so dull and clichéd. It must be worth it at some point -- but it's surely frustrating for people like myself who wanted to invest a quiet weeknight in an enjoyable movie, and instead got suckered into a time-waster like this. It's not even that I'm particularly picky or jaded -- this is just a dull movie with slow-moving scenes, and the kind of plot you can predict the next scene or twist with nearly 100% accuracy.

It wasn't a complete waste of time on a Saturday morning.

The acting is great for this kind of movie. It's well done and watchable. It could have made an interesting short series or anthology show.

However the main problem here is that it's just not scary. Really like not at all.