Photos
Quotes
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Marc Maron : [talking to an anger management group] I don't know, you know. Not a lot of things make me mad... prejudice... traffic... bad waiters... B.J. Novak as a children's book author now - how does that happen?... Oh, and one time I got these Peruvian boots... the tongue of the boot never broke in right and kept cutting into my... Oh, God... My parents were incapable of thinking of anyone but themselves... I mean, my mother projected her eating disorder on me which is why I have body dysmorphia; my dad, this bipolar disorder narcissist who thought he was a superhero... I talk about this stuff at AA meetings, I go to therapy, I read psychology books... I really couldn't be more in touch with my emotions than I am right now... and in a moment it just goes.
[long silence follows]
Anger Management Participate : [whispers] Stupid.
Marc Maron : EXCUSE ME? Do you have a problem with me, man?
Anger Management Participate : No problem.
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Marc Maron : I lost my shit in front of this guy and his wife, alright? I was a dick, alright, and there's no way around it, and now I've gotta live with it forever. And I feel like he's got one over on me, you know what I mean?
Bernie : Ah - is this about Obama? President Obama?
Marc Maron : No!
Bernie : Bush?
Marc Maron : NO! I don't know those cats!
Bernie : Then apologize to him.
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Bernie : There were these two monks. They came to a river. They were Buddhists.
Marc Maron : What are you talking about?
Bernie : It's a story. I'm telling you a story.
Marc Maron : OK, OK. Go, go.
Bernie : So these two monks saw this woman. I don't know if she was Buddhist, but that's not what's important.
Marc Maron : OK.
Bernie : So the woman wants to be carried across the river. So the old monk says, "I'll do it." So he carries the broad straight across the river. Done. But. She never said thanks.
Marc Maron : Right.
Bernie : That's a nice shirt, man.
Marc Maron : Thanks, man.
Bernie : I've got a jacket with BIG monster tits on it.
Marc Maron : I've seen that jacket. They're not that big.
Bernie : So, so for the rest of the day, the young monk is mad. Mad at the bitch for not saying 'thank you.' And finally the old monk slaps the shit out of that guy and stuns him like a stuck nut and he says, he says, "I carried her, I just carried her across the river, man. You've been carrying her the whole day."
Marc Maron : I know what you're saying! You're saying I've got to apologize to the guy for my sake.
Bernie : No. You've got to apologize to the guy for your sake. Be the old monk. Don't be the young monk. The young monk was a bitter monk. Maybe he shouldn't have never been a monk at all. Maybe he had no choice.
