The Trail to Oregon! (2015)

Lauren Lopez: Son

Photos 

Quotes 

• Son : I've literally eaten everything that I've come across. When I interact with a new object, I'm gonna look at it for a little bit, I'm gonna reach out and poke it, see if it moves around, pick it up, wiggle it back and forth... and then that thing goes all the way in my mouth. And if it doesn't try to get out of mouth, it's going down the hatch. If you ask me, it's a pretty good way to do things. The other day I put a scorpion in my mouth, that guy jumped right out. I mean, he knew the rules, he played the game... I respect him for that.

• Son : I lost a shoe two months ago. I didn't say anything about it and no one asked me, so... I've been walking around with one shoe. If someone were to ask me, Where's your shoe? I'd say, I don't know. Because at this point, I honestly don't. I mean, I remember where it was when I threw it off the wagon. But I mean, it bounced for a little bit and I kind of put my hand out and pointed at it, but no one said anything so I just put my hand down and forgot about it, man. All I know is that shoe bounced pretty good.

• Son : Goodbye, Dad. I guess I'm Mom's only son now.

  Father : You were always Mom's only son. I'm the father, remember?

  Son : Oh. Well I loved you like a brother.

• Son : Are we gonna go skinny dipping?

  Mother : Why would we do that?

  Son : I don't know.

• [accepting her imminent death from dysentery] 

  Daughter : It's all right, family. This was God's will and we all know that God is a...

  Daughter , Father , Mother , Son , Grandpa : [together]  Vicious, two-faced prick.

  Daughter : At least maybe when I go to Heaven, I'll finally be reunited with my one true love, the Bandit King.

  [does the Bandit King move] 

  Daughter : And his one true love, Cletus Jones.

• Son : [sings]  Craaphoole, yeah that's me, I'm seven and I'm male!

  Daughter : [sings]  Mouuthface, is what my friends call me, I'm looking for love on the trail!

• Son : Well, I guess it makes sense I'm the one dying of dysentery. I shouldn't have put all that shit in my mouth... especially that shit.

• Father : All right, on three. What's this trip all about? One, two, three!

  Mother : Dying.

  [Said at the same time] 

  Daughter : Eating grass.

  [Said at the same time] 

  Son : Skinny dipping!

  [Said at the same time] 

  Horny Ox : I'm a monster!

  [Said at the same time] 

• Mother : Now kids, say a few words for your poor, foolish father, please.

  Daughter : Pepperoni...

  Son : And... cheese?

  Mother : [pause]  Yep. Y - yeah... couldn't have said it better myself. Pepperoni and cheese, amen.

• Son : Oh wait, hold on, listen, Mom, listen. Now I'm all for a quick skinny dip, but if we go in there, we could die. Remember what everyone in Independence said? Friends don't let friends ford the river.

• Son : [sings, taking clothes off]  Splashy, splashy, there's nothing more fun / Than dropping trou and getting some sun / You can skinny if you're fat or old / Put Marco Polo in a wrestling hold

  Father : There's his penis.