No Chance (I) (2020) User Reviews

I wanted to like it.

[enq-45057 · 3/10 · 5 August 2020]

Knowing the original movie back to front I went into this expecting to laugh my ass off through the whole movie, but unfortunately it was nothing of the kind. I admit there were a couple of laughs but became very bored after about 45 min. The truth of the fact is it could've been a hell of alot better.

Ghastly but you can't look away

[fluffchop · 4/10 · 25 October 2021]

The production values are practically as good as the original 80s movies it takes off. Those old Arnie movies were just as bad as this film, they really were bad films. If you know all the old films this one is kind of funny. Maybe it's 20 years too last to the spoof craze but it's funny. Don't expect too much though.

No chance

[zathan-32848 · 1/10 · 11 February 2021]

Managed to watch 30minutes of this mess. Its as low budget as it gets. Bad camerawork Bad acting. Making a commando parody is a good idea, but these guys failed. It might be fun for the people involved making it and watching it. Maybe even their friends might get a laugh, but the poor production quality will ruin it for the rest of us.

Dumb indie spoof

[Leofwine_draca · 2/10 · 11 January 2019]

NO CHANCE is a dumb indie spoof/sequel to that '80s classic COMMANDO, which remains one of my all-time favourites. Sadly, although this copies the look and mannerism of that film, it doesn't really have any reason to exist. It's unfunny and drawn-out, featuring a protagonist who doesn't look like, nor sound like, Schwarzenegger at all, although perhaps that's the joke; if it is, I didn't get it. It's a broad comedy at best, so expect cheap wigs galore and lots of '80s throwback style. The only decent bit is a last-minute cameo from a more than welcome Vernon Wells.

Ugh...

[almighty4 · 1/10 · 14 July 2021]

The only real deaths in this movie, were the career suicides of everyone involved..

Arnie is back

[staunton-gary · 6/10 · 15 February 2021]

I have no idea what the budget was for this spoof of the 80's Commando flick, I don't think it was much. around the 30 minute mark I began thinking "I hope this doesn't go on for too long". An hour and 35 minutes was way too long for this, I don't think that a spoof needs to copy/reenact most of the original movie. An hour would have been better forcing scenes to be cut/shortened or improved.

This is not a masterpiece, it's mildly entertaining with bad acting sound effects, which mostly work. Yakov Jakemoff looked more like Joe Dirt than a menacing foe. I could go on, but I don't like reading long comments/reviews, so I won't expect you to do so.

Overall, I had a few giggles. Probably not the best spoof of a movie, but definitely above average. I would recommend this to watch.

A Masterpiece of Awesomeness!!!

[thecinemadrunkie · 10/10 · 12 April 2019]

Hilarious Parody Sequel to the greatest action movie ever made is an incredibly fun, glorious, laugh out loud tribute to the films of Arnold Schwarzenegger as well as the 80s action genre on a whole.

John Mantrixx (playing himself!) has to escape from a mental institution (don't ask) in order to rescue his daughter Chenny from the clutches of the evil Barrett. Again. And no, those are not typos.

Seriously, if you love 80s action movies, you're in for a treat! This send up is so much fun. Director Matt Poitras and his co-writer Jason Chilton (who also plays Barrett) craft such an epic trip down memory lane with so many call backs to the action movies of our youth while simultaneously doing their own thing. And it works tremendously!

"Mantrixx" also carries this endeavor beautifully with his hilarious impersonation of Arnold, complete with an "ARRGGHH ARRGGHH!" noise every time he moves! I was literally in tears watching him. So perfect. Chilton is also a joy as Barrett, doing the great Vernon Wells proud. The rest of the cast is amazing, particularly one cameo that is sure to get the audience cheering. You'll know it when you see it.

All in all, this was a such a fun time. The kind of movie that feels like if Cannon Group had commissioned a sequel to Commando that was written by the Airplane guys, but directed by David A. Prior on the same budget he made Deadly Prey with. Which is, quite frankly, masterpiece material right there. Its streaming on Amazon Prime right, so if that sounds like your cup of tea, see it ASAP. I highly recommend it!

Masterpiece Theater

[ajalfieri-07053 · 10/10 · 4 March 2021]

This movie is awesome. You can tell this was a labor of love for the filmmakers. I've always loved the cheesieness of the 80s Schwarzenegger movies and you can totally tell they do too. Commando was one of my favorites and they hit it out of the park. While they did a great job spoofing the most ridiculous parts of the original movie, they took it to the next level and advanced the story, adding original content that is just as cheesy. The backstory for "Barrett" and "Mantrixx" is a great addition and the actors are hilarious - I couldn't stop laughing. The production quality also exceeded my expectations. I really hope they do a Total Recall parody.

Fun movie if you like spoofs or Arnold impressions

[zomberi · 10/10 · 26 December 2020]

The hero looked goofy and I did not have much hope but the actor and the movie defy all assumptions. It is a spoof of the Commando movie starring Arnold Schwarznegger but with a slightly different storyline. The Arnold impressions are exceptional. Even his walk and action scenes voice-acting are all spot on. This is also an action movie and they have used real arms and ammunition. It is a funny action movie. Somehow they managed it. The funny part is mostly around Ahnol and the Austrian style of speaking. The scene where the Commando movie villain comes back with a piece of plumbing in his chest is pure genius. The scene where Arnold brings his grown-up daughter on his hip is over-the-top hilarious. The movie seems a bit long but otherwise it is entertaining.