Learning Hebrew (A Gothsploitation Movie) (2013) User Reviews

Dismal.

[KinkyDink · 2/10 · 19 October 2020]

I just sat through this pile of selfindulgent pseudo-arty rubbish and I'm not sure why. It felt like I being ranted at by some crazy drunk in a bar, but having the rant played out for me. We get it. You're not a fan of organised religion. The acting wasn't excruciating, for the most part and some of the shots were pretty enough to bump my rating into a positive number. I've seen films with worse cinematography and certainly with worse actors. This one's downfall was the writing and direction and I sort of got the impression that it was all pretty much made with some sordid ulterior motives in mind. "Wanna be in my movie?". Clearly not made with any kind of budget whatsoever - and it certainly couldn't stretch to spending much more than ten minutes per visual effects shot.

Looking at the credits list, it seems very small. I wonder how many people who worked on it refused a credit for fear of association. It's not a career springboard and I don't think we'll be seeing any of the cast in anything else- let alone a sequel - the very thought of which sends a cold shiver down my spine.

ETA:

The 10 star review from "theplumery" below is an interesting-if revealing one. They say: "...Apparently the director (according to their FB page) has worked with Alexander McQueen, so its no surprise..."

I just had a look at that same director's FB page, and by some enormous coincidence, his bio (currently) lists that he owns a company called The Plumery.

Atheist Edgelord: The Movie

[dylan_dog_lives · 1/10 · 28 January 2020]

The director's idea of "goth" is high end Camden mall/Hot Topic clothes and clown make-up. Most of the so called goths look like they are off to some rave. 'Learning Hebrew' is an amateur low budget film that had some good ideas but falls short under it's poor execution and technical flaws. The film is very talky and due to the HORRIBLE sound you can hardly make out anything that's being said. Worst of all, it's boring and feels preachy. The entire film tries to make a case for Atheism, but even as an atheist myself I was soon bored of the constant droning on about atheism and religion that makes up 2/3 of the movie. It's like watching one of those angry white guys on youtube who have just now discovered atheism, and can't shut up about it. There is no real plot to speak off, just a series of random characters and sketches. By the looks of it I'm guessing they were all friends who got together and randomly filmed whatever they felt like on that day. I have no doubt they had a good time making the movie, but there is no way anybody could actually enjoy watching it. The positive reviews on here were all undoubtedly written by the director himself.

A great movie you need to watch!

[ayskura · 10/10 · 24 April 2016]

This movie is awesome!

it is a cult movie on his own right! If you appreciated the flow of what movies like Jubilee and even the mighty Clockwork Orange have started, you will love this movie as I do.

I couldn't express the nice feeling of watching this totally independent marvel of cinema, from the history which goes slowly opening during the whole length, to the imaging and symbols used to reveal it.

Some of the parts are totally innovative (as the use of the vocoder for dialogues) and the general pace of the movie is constantly letting you wonder what will happen next and why.

A cult movie definitively.

This movie Highly recommended!

Hot goth girls and militant atheists, dark fckd surreal film.

[theplumery · 10/10 · 16 March 2015]

Goth girls, goth girls, goth girls. I mean awesome goth girls. There are plenty here. I didn't get this film at all, some thing about Militant atheists and ancient Rome. But the hot goth chicks kept me totally captivated, its as if a goth and Alexander McQueen had fallen into an industrial shredder and been put back together by a an alien race. Apparently the director (according to their FB page) has worked with Alexander McQueen, so its no surprise. Never has a micro budget film tried to do so much, they've crammed everything in, and I mean everything, politics, sex, religion, atheism, terrorism, war, both ancient and modern, punk, metal, classical music, relationships, and was that real blood, I cant see how that could have been anything else, I mean there's hardly any CGI in this film. My only criticism, is its all over too bloody quickly.