Galavant (TV Series)

Joust Friends (2015)

Joshua Sasse: Galavant

Photos 

Quotes 

• Galavant : [Doubled over, gasping for breath]  I'm out of shape. That was a long song.

• Galavant : I say we find a tavern and hunker down for the night.

  Isabella : And how do you plan on paying for anything, hmmm? We have a priceless jewel we can't spend and a six foot hero we can't eat.

• Galavant : I'm afraid of what happens the next time I get knocked down.

  Isabella : Any man can get knocked down. The hero is the man who gets back up.

• Jean Hamm : I can tell you want to bail. I'll give you five seconds to bail.

  Galavant : I don't want to bail.

  Jean Hamm : I do.

  Galavant : You do?

  Jean Hamm : Oh, yes. I want to bail your mama out of jail when she gets arrested for prostitution!

  Galavant : [sighs]  You know what, Jean? It's... it's 1256.

  Jean Hamm : Mmm?

  Galavant : The "your mama" jokes... they're getting really old.

  Jean Hamm : Hmm, so is your mama.

  Galavant : Seriously, Jean. It's getting really worn out.

  Jean Hamm : So is...

  Galavant : Don't.

  Jean Hamm : ...your mama!

• King Richard : [singing]  You're frigid and demanding. I shudder at your call.

  Madalena : Whenever you come near me, my flesh begins to crawl.

  King Richard , Madalena : But sometimes there are moments I'm not repelled at all. Maybe you're not the worst thing ever.

  Isabella : You're utterly disgusting. I loath your manly stink.

  Galavant : I see your mouth start moving and, God, I need a drink.

  Galavant , Isabella : And then from out of nowhere, I'll look at you and think, maybe you're not the worst thing ever.

• [Galavant awakens, disoriented] 

  Isabella : You've been screaming like a castrated hyena for the past ten minutes.

  Galavant : My pants are on. My pants are definitely on.

• [singing] 

  Galavant : I ride to save my one true love.

  Sid : Though she ripped your heart in two.

  Galavant : Not true.

  Sid : Pretty true.

  Isabella : Very true.

  Galavant : To destroy the king she was forced to wed.

  Isabella : More like *chose* to wed.

  Galavant : Not true.

  Isabella : Kinda true.

  Sid : Gotta say, sorta true.

• Galavant : Princess, can we stop the horses? Yours looks so much softer.

  Isabella : Oh! What is wrong with you? All you've done since we left is complain. You're supposed to be a bloody hero.

  Galavant : And I've got every intention of being one, Princess. I'm gonna save Madalena. I'm gonna get your kingdom back.

  [Smugly] 

  Galavant : There's gonna be some pretty legendary heroing happening around here pretty damn soon.

  [He licks his finger and holds it up briefly] 

  Galavant : It's gonna be dark soon. And this road is gonna be filled with bad guys who'd like nothing more than to have their way with your tight brown body.

  Isabella : [Highly insulted]  How dare you?

  Galavant : I was talking to Sid.

• Galavant : I feel like I'm back to my old self again. King Dick's not gonna know what hit him.