Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV Series)

The Dirty Half Dozen (2015)

Clark Gregg: Phil Coulson

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Quotes 

• Grant Ward : Can we just address the elephant on the plane? I know. This is weird. Mistakes were made.

  Leo Fitz : By you.

  Grant Ward : And people got hurt.

  Leo Fitz : By you.

  Grant Ward : And I could stand here and explain again how my parents and brother left me vulnerable...

  Melinda May : [scoffs]  We all had our traumas, Ward. Didn't turn any of us into psychopaths.

  Grant Ward : Well, we all have our own ways of coping, don't we? For example, I was yours.

  Phil Coulson : Watch it, Ward!

  Grant Ward : Look, I'm just saying we all made mistakes. Coulson handed me over to my abuser thank you. Skye shot me

  Jemma Simmons : After you killed how many people?

  Leo Fitz : Yeah, and we were a team and a family, and you betrayed us!

  Grant Ward : I know. It's what I regret the most. Not the lying, the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents I had to put down, and I'm sorry not even dropping you two in the ocean. It's this. My actions destroyed this. I'll regret that forever. 'Cause there were good times. Right? Before? I mean, for a while there, we were a good team. Weren't we?

  [dramatic pause] 

  Skye : I'm still happy I shot you.

  Leo Fitz : Yeah, me too.

  Jemma Simmons : Should've aimed for the face.

• Maria Hill : I bet Gonzales wasn't happy when you said he wasn't invited to this chat.

  Phil Coulson : Yeah, well, I wasn't too happy when he blew a hole in my base and kicked me out. We all live with disappointment, and right now, we have bigger problems.

  Maria Hill : Does that mean you found it?

  Phil Coulson : I'm guessing Hydra doesn't know Loki's scepter was the weapon that killed me, but I bet they know it can control minds.

  Maria Hill : In their hands, that's catastrophic. Coulson, please tell me you know where it is.

  Phil Coulson : Segovia. I'm pretty sure List is headed there right now. I've just sent you everything I found on Strucker's location.

  Maria Hill : Coulson, why didn't you just tell Gonzales why you really wanted to get onto the Hydra base?

  Phil Coulson : Believe it or not, he puts every decision to a vote.

  [Hill scoffs] 

  Phil Coulson : I know. And I was pretty sure if I'd been honest, I'd have lost the swing vote, so I did what I had to do.

  Maria Hill : Last thing. Theta Protocol; is it ready?

  Phil Coulson : Yes, it is. Time to bring in the Avengers.

• Phil Coulson : [Hydra has just blown up their ship while the team is on the Quinnjet, hoping to hide among the ship's debris. The Quinnjet is being rocked and shimmied around the sky with burning chunks of the ship falling all around it]  I'm starting to think this wasn't a very good plan. Is there anything you can do about the drop?

  Melinda May : Not if you want Hydra to believe we're debris.

  Phil Coulson : I'm really startin' to wish I hadn't eaten that Hot Pocket earlier.

• Robert Gonzales : [Holds out the Tool Box]  Time to honor our agreement.

  Phil Coulson : [Takes the Tool Box, opens it, hands it back]  Here you go. Unlocked and all yours. Go nuts. At least until Fury shows up and asks for it back.

  [At Gonzales' look] 

  Phil Coulson : Oh. Spoiler alert.

  [His cell rings] 

  Phil Coulson : Oh. Hey.

  [He shows Gonzales that it's a call from Maria Hill] 

  Phil Coulson : I have to take this.

• Phil Coulson : Robert. It's good to see you.

  Robert Gonzales : Is it?

  Phil Coulson : Okay. It's good to see my bus. But, hey. You look well, too.

• Phil Coulson : Since when did you become a high ranking member of team Gonzales?

  Melinda May : Someone had to run the base while you were gone. Having a seat allowed me to keep you safe.

  Phil Coulson : I was fine on my own.

  Melinda May : Seems that's how you operate best.

  Phil Coulson : What the hell is that supposed to mean?

  Melinda May : That you've been lying to me. Every since S.H.I.E.L.D. fell, all those overseas trips you were taking. They were never about recruiting new agents were they? You want to tell me what Theta Protocol is?

  Phil Coulson : No.

  Melinda May : Because you don't trust me.

  Phil Coulson : Because you're not the director of S.H.I.E.L.D.

  Melinda May : Neither are you.

• Melinda May : We all had our traumas, Ward. Didn't turn any of us into psychopaths.

  Grant Ward : Well, we all have our own ways of coping. Don't we? For example. I was yours.

  Phil Coulson : Watch it, Ward.

• Robert Gonzales : Time to honor our agreement.

  Phil Coulson : [Tosses the toolbox to him]  Here you go. Unlocked and all yours. Go nuts. At least until Fury shows up and asks for it back.

  [Covers his mouth in mock shock] 

  Phil Coulson : Oh. Spoiler alert.