The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon (TV Series)

Billy Crystal/Rose Byrne/Chef Nobu Matsuhisa (2014)

Jimmy Fallon: Self - Host

Quotes 

• Billy Crystal : [on Robin Williams]  We were in Boston - it was 1988; it was, like, the second Comic Relief. And we're at the State Building with Michael Dukakis, who was the Democratic nominee to run against George Bush Sr. Right? And Mr. Dukakis was a very genteel... not a large man, very quiet, professorial-type guy. And, um, very conservative, and - and, uh, we made our speeches and, um, we were funny; Whoopi, Robin and I were, you know, pretty funny. And then Mr. Dukakis said something about Robin being out in the universe - up there, you know, right near Uranus. Well, that's...

  Jimmy Fallon : [buried face in hands, laughing]  Oh, no! Does he know who he's playing with?

  Billy Crystal : That's all - that's all he had to hear.

  Jimmy Fallon : Oh, my god!

  Billy Crystal : So, he went off on: "Your anus? My anus! Our anuses! Oh, my god - whose anus is it? Oh, my - " And it - and Dukakis looked at him, and just went,

  Billy Crystal : [deadly serious]  "This isn't HBO."

  Jimmy Fallon : ...Wow.

  Billy Crystal : [holding hands out as if in caution]  So he continued his speech, and Robin stands next to me - and as Dukakis is droning on, Robin says, "No way this mother - - wins."

• Jimmy Fallon : I do want to say that the tribute to Robin Williams at the Emmys was beautiful and I know that it must've been tough, it was just beautiful. I saw you sitting in the crowd for a second and I didn't want to go over and say hi to you because I just thought we were gonna be so emotional

  Billy Crystal : I saw you because I was sitting three rows behind you and we were up for an award and when that happened...

  Billy Crystal : [after clearing his throat, becoming emotional]  and I knew it was a very hard thing and he was my dearest friend and it was only two weeks after and to try to do him "justice" for myself and for the audience around the world in two minutes was the task and you know I've given eulogies before, sadly, for a lot of people I love but nobody on television and you know that crowd, we were feeling very much the same sadness, bewilderment, frustration and this overall "What?" feeling. I was worried I wasn't going to get through it

  Jimmy Fallon : [before the audience applause's]  you did, you did an amazing job

  Billy Crystal : It's not even two months and saying "he was" is very hard for me and for all of us

  Jimmy Fallon : I have to thank you because of you I have one of my favorite Robin stories

  Billy Crystal : tell me

  Jimmy Fallon : If you don't mind, we were going to DC, you were getting the Kennedy Center Honors, the Mark Twain Award. We were all on one bus

  Billy Crystal : [chuckles]  right

  Jimmy Fallon : and it was the funniest bus I ever been on. It was me, Martin Short, Rob Reiner, Jon Lovitz

  Billy Crystal : Danny DeVito

  Jimmy Fallon : Danny DeVito. And Robin Williams and that was it: on the whole bus. We were driving and before we could go into the Kennedy Center, they have a dog come over, it's a bomb sniffing dog

  Billy Crystal : uh huh

  Jimmy Fallon : and Robin goes "Oh I hope there's no copies of my movies on this bus, quick everyone throw Popeye out the window." Then Rob Reiner goes around and says "Do they have any copies of North?" Then I go "Are there any copies of any movies I was in?"

  Jimmy Fallon : [impersonating Lovitz]  Then Jon Lovitz goes "I never made any bombs"

  Jimmy Fallon : it was so good! We were crying laughing

  Billy Crystal : You know he had the greatest minds I've been around because it was so "terrifying" fast

  Jimmy Fallon : yeah

  Billy Crystal : It was like on stage with him when did all those Comic Reliefs and all the other things we did, the clubs. Jimmy our phone calls were amazing late at night: hours, when we finished, we always felt like two jazz musicians who just got new horns, you know?

  Jimmy Fallon : yeah, just exhausted

  Billy Crystal : you never knew who you just hung up on "Who was that?" They called us some "new guy" and it was just hilarious

  Jimmy Fallon : you'd just travel and end up where you end up, yeah, and improvise and have fun

  Billy Crystal : yeah, and he had the biggest set of balls ever on stage

  Jimmy Fallon : He did, right?

  Billy Crystal : And he was fearless, you know that's what I loved about him so much, and his commitment to the comedy was astounding