In the handy Behind the Scenes DVD short subject, Xander Corvus responds to Jacky's stock question about whether he likes doing romantic (as opposed to industry standard gonzo) porn by saying he misses the "intensity". A bullseye for XC: in trying to please some mythical (might exist, just as unicorns might) couples audience for XXX, Jacky St. James has watered down some of these short story features to the point of utter blandness.
A good short story has suspense/drama, even if it's meant to be humorous -the most famous being those of O. Henry, but all-time champ is my favorite short-form writer H.E. Bates. You could count on him for a shock ending -his stories always wind up on a high note that is exhilarating when he's at his best.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY on the other hand presents four soggy tales that are devoid of content. The four couples involved celebrate wedding anniversaries, but no real conflict exists - each one is merely marking time until a going-through-the-motions sex filler scene unfolds. It's the opposite of a Pavlovian response - instead of salivating or getting hot & bothered I (like many other viewers I bet) was bored out of my gourd and glad that the fast-forward button had been invented.
Typifying this is the finale, teaming India Summer (the JoBeth Williams of porn -can't understand why she has never crossed over and become queen of cable's Lifetime network) with old reliable Steven St. James. India's lovely voice, the only one of the four femme narrators who isn't grating in a Valley Girl sense, narrates and we have hubby presenting her with an anniversary present (they've been together 18 years, not specified how long of that is marriage) of a masseur.
I need to digress here to note that he's called a masseuse by Steven, a mistake I attribute to Jacky, not the St. named Croix though he should have caught the flub. Apparently today's crop of porno people behind and in front of the camera (though Steven hails from the last '90s generation, well-preserved as he may be) are not renaissance men/women but rather so limited in their outlook and education as to believe masseuse is the unisex word for massage therapists, rather than knowing that masseuse is a made-up term like aviatrix, stewardess or more relevantly, actress -as you will note the word actor is now properly applied to BOTH sexes by anyone who's serious about these matters.
Anyway, St. Croix is the male masseuse (=masseur) so given the nano-budgets afforded these 1-day wonders the viewer knows instantly (in a nanosecond?) that this mystery man is indeed India's husband. The minimal role-playing and "suspense" of the half-hour is nonexistent -we are merely willing voyeurs watching two veteran but not-over-the-hill XXX performers hump under a false pretense of being strangers. The very comfort together that the vets display (as professional sex artists) works against the narrative - it would have been more fun and stimulating had Jacky cast a ringer, some relatively unknown or even non- traditional actor in one of the two roles. Even with Alzheimer's slowly setting in, my mind felt that I had seen the duo do exactly the same positions, groans and murmurs several times before right through to the money shot on her belly -strictly yawns-ville.
Corvus' segment, oddly quoted at length by some anonymous IMDb fan for reasons that escape me (quoted dialog should be memorable -either witty or idiotic, not merely mediocre as Jacky's certainly is here), has a bright spot in that his better half is played by redhead Marie McCray who I haven't seen since her sparkling debut starring as ANGEL FACE back in 2008 (she's done scores of nothing videos since then). The segment about cooking is as pointless as the others, notable mainly for Marie keeping on her white high-heels during sex - shoes are not unusual but white ones were a novelty for me.
Michael Vegas is on his best behavior, probably to the detriment of his segment sincere there is no edge (I like to see him do what he does best -villainy or at least hiss-able misogyny. His wife Carter Cruise (beyond the alliteration I don't see her distinctiveness at all in a crowded porn field of "young things") keeps misplacing her wedding ring so on their 2-year anniversary he presents her with a new engagement ring. The point & content of this episode were so thin that Jacky should have crumpled up the envelope she jotted the script down upon rather than used it.
Sara Luvv is so lovable that her vignette is almost worth watching, paired with the much, much taller Ryan Driller for a sex bout on the stairs of their mansion. Gimmick here is that after 8 years the zing is gone, so Luvv digs out her high school cheerleader outfit and the duo pretend they are humping in her parents' home way back when. I've seen enough nostalgia porn, usually Rene Bond as a '50s teen, to realize it might cost some money to stage such things, but Jacky spares ALL expense by relying simply on that cheerleader top & skirt, and even the location is trite -we're back in the memorable house with its distinctive doors and spiral staircase that competitor Nica Noelle immortalized in IMMORAL PROPOSAL and since pops up in about 1 of 10 storyline videos.
Unlike titles in New Sensations' Romance Series from three years ago, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY features no condoms. I assume this is a concession to popular taste. It might be argued that the married couples in this particular feature "don't need condoms", however, Steven's character is supposed to be (pretend) a stranger, so if the old Romance style video dictum of condoms were still in effect, then his fake masseur would need to put on a condom, perhaps with great emphasis as is often the case in this strain of "preachy" porn.
A good short story has suspense/drama, even if it's meant to be humorous -the most famous being those of O. Henry, but all-time champ is my favorite short-form writer H.E. Bates. You could count on him for a shock ending -his stories always wind up on a high note that is exhilarating when he's at his best.
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY on the other hand presents four soggy tales that are devoid of content. The four couples involved celebrate wedding anniversaries, but no real conflict exists - each one is merely marking time until a going-through-the-motions sex filler scene unfolds. It's the opposite of a Pavlovian response - instead of salivating or getting hot & bothered I (like many other viewers I bet) was bored out of my gourd and glad that the fast-forward button had been invented.
Typifying this is the finale, teaming India Summer (the JoBeth Williams of porn -can't understand why she has never crossed over and become queen of cable's Lifetime network) with old reliable Steven St. James. India's lovely voice, the only one of the four femme narrators who isn't grating in a Valley Girl sense, narrates and we have hubby presenting her with an anniversary present (they've been together 18 years, not specified how long of that is marriage) of a masseur.
I need to digress here to note that he's called a masseuse by Steven, a mistake I attribute to Jacky, not the St. named Croix though he should have caught the flub. Apparently today's crop of porno people behind and in front of the camera (though Steven hails from the last '90s generation, well-preserved as he may be) are not renaissance men/women but rather so limited in their outlook and education as to believe masseuse is the unisex word for massage therapists, rather than knowing that masseuse is a made-up term like aviatrix, stewardess or more relevantly, actress -as you will note the word actor is now properly applied to BOTH sexes by anyone who's serious about these matters.
Anyway, St. Croix is the male masseuse (=masseur) so given the nano-budgets afforded these 1-day wonders the viewer knows instantly (in a nanosecond?) that this mystery man is indeed India's husband. The minimal role-playing and "suspense" of the half-hour is nonexistent -we are merely willing voyeurs watching two veteran but not-over-the-hill XXX performers hump under a false pretense of being strangers. The very comfort together that the vets display (as professional sex artists) works against the narrative - it would have been more fun and stimulating had Jacky cast a ringer, some relatively unknown or even non- traditional actor in one of the two roles. Even with Alzheimer's slowly setting in, my mind felt that I had seen the duo do exactly the same positions, groans and murmurs several times before right through to the money shot on her belly -strictly yawns-ville.
Corvus' segment, oddly quoted at length by some anonymous IMDb fan for reasons that escape me (quoted dialog should be memorable -either witty or idiotic, not merely mediocre as Jacky's certainly is here), has a bright spot in that his better half is played by redhead Marie McCray who I haven't seen since her sparkling debut starring as ANGEL FACE back in 2008 (she's done scores of nothing videos since then). The segment about cooking is as pointless as the others, notable mainly for Marie keeping on her white high-heels during sex - shoes are not unusual but white ones were a novelty for me.
Michael Vegas is on his best behavior, probably to the detriment of his segment sincere there is no edge (I like to see him do what he does best -villainy or at least hiss-able misogyny. His wife Carter Cruise (beyond the alliteration I don't see her distinctiveness at all in a crowded porn field of "young things") keeps misplacing her wedding ring so on their 2-year anniversary he presents her with a new engagement ring. The point & content of this episode were so thin that Jacky should have crumpled up the envelope she jotted the script down upon rather than used it.
Sara Luvv is so lovable that her vignette is almost worth watching, paired with the much, much taller Ryan Driller for a sex bout on the stairs of their mansion. Gimmick here is that after 8 years the zing is gone, so Luvv digs out her high school cheerleader outfit and the duo pretend they are humping in her parents' home way back when. I've seen enough nostalgia porn, usually Rene Bond as a '50s teen, to realize it might cost some money to stage such things, but Jacky spares ALL expense by relying simply on that cheerleader top & skirt, and even the location is trite -we're back in the memorable house with its distinctive doors and spiral staircase that competitor Nica Noelle immortalized in IMMORAL PROPOSAL and since pops up in about 1 of 10 storyline videos.
Unlike titles in New Sensations' Romance Series from three years ago, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY features no condoms. I assume this is a concession to popular taste. It might be argued that the married couples in this particular feature "don't need condoms", however, Steven's character is supposed to be (pretend) a stranger, so if the old Romance style video dictum of condoms were still in effect, then his fake masseur would need to put on a condom, perhaps with great emphasis as is often the case in this strain of "preachy" porn.