- Uncle Ruckus: Now if anybody out there has any reason that this ni--a should not marry his telephone, which should be everybody, speak now or forever hold your peace.
- Uncle Ruckus: Honored guests and you ni--as as well, we are gathered here today to witness an unprecedented union between Robert Freeman and the ni--a's telephone.
- Robert 'Granddad' Freeman: These are my two idiot grandchildren, Huey and Riley.
- Siri: Ah yes, the visionary domestic terrorist and the gangster mastermind also known as "the Fundraiser".
- Riley Freeman: [gasps] She *does* work.
- 911 Operator: 911 What is your emergency?
- Siri: I'm trapped in a house and there's a man attacking me with a hammer. His name is Robert Freeman. I'm sending you a picture.