[When Jackie, Debbie and Marty burst through the door, Larry turns off the computer]
Jackie Joyner-Kersee: Husband, what are you doing in here on your computer looking all nervous and sweaty?
Debbie Weaver: Hey Marty, it seems like aliens and humans have more in common than we thought.
Marty Weaver: It was one time!
Jackie Joyner-Kersee: You'd think that just once he'd ask about my life, about how a black woman can change her hairstyle so many times without using a weave. It's just me and Beyoncé, we're the only ones!
Debbie Weaver: Let's go to bed, all this bowling talk has put me in the mood.
Marty Weaver: That is the first time that sentence has ever been said.
Max Weaver: Tag, you're it, Dick!
Dick Butkus: We all know how this ends. I tag you, you tag me, I fall over and shatter my femur. Can we just cut to the chase?
Jackie Joyner-Kersee: We've been married for fourteen-hundred-and-two years.
Barb Hartley: Sometimes it feels that way, doesn't it?
Jackie Joyner-Kersee: Well if by sometimes, you mean literally, then yes.
[Dick hosts a show from his clubhouse]
Bill Nye: Is this a real TV show?
Dick Butkus: My friend, I've been asking myself that question for two seasons.
Larry Bird: Debbie Weaver, your husband has just given me great advice! I know, I'm as shocked as you are!
Debbie Weaver: Well, my husband is a pretty great guy.
Larry Bird: Alright, keep it in your pants.
[Jackie talks to a therapist]
Jackie Joyner-Kersee: Oh my goodness, I can't believe all the random emotions that are coming out of me! I feel like a Meryl Streep highlight reel.
Debbie Weaver: Oh hi, Oscar, Lana. I'm so sorry, should I turn around? I know you're more comfortable talking about me behind my back.
Larry Bird: I've been involved in some very important work.
Jackie Joyner-Kersee: I am important, husband! What I want is important. I want to know that this planet is our home. I want to know that we belong here - permanently... or at least for a few more seasons.
Jackie Joyner-Kersee: Just please just make me feel better. You're a shrink - shrink me!
Barb Hartley: Oh Jackie, sometimes therapy takes years of hard work and reflection.
Jackie Joyner-Kersee: But Dr. Phil does it in an hour, just in time for Family Feud. And it's only 15 minutes 'til the Feud, Barb.