Still Open All Hours (TV Series)

Episode #1.3 (2015)

Stephanie Cole: Mrs. Delphine Featherstone

Quotes 

• Mrs. Delphine Featherstone : [looking out of the shop window at Nikki and Leroy kissing in Nikki's car]  Is that your Leroy in the grip of some trollop?

  Granville : Probably.

  Mrs. Delphine Featherstone : I'm surprised you allow him that latitude doing business hours.

  Granville : Oh, don't worry. He's in for a surprise. I'm putting him back on the pedals.

  Mrs. Delphine Featherstone : It's amazing how long the young these days can go without breathing. You'd think their lungs were designed for misbehavior. Oh look! Look! He's managed to extract himself. He's a little flushed; she looks ready for single parenthood.

  Granville : Will that be all Mrs. Featherstone?

  Mrs. Delphine Featherstone : One would hope so in broad daylight.

• Mrs. Delphine Featherstone : Is it in his DNA, Granville? Are you both wired for excess?

  Granville : Excess is beyond the reach of the small shopkeeper, Mrs. Featherstone. I mean, all we can aspire to is avarice.

  Mrs. Delphine Featherstone : Oh, I like avarice in a man. You see, there's all this fuss about orgasm. Watching your money grow is all the excitement a body really needs.