- Ron Swanson: Everyone, I'd like to introduce you to my son, John "Middle Name Redacted" Swanson. John was born some time ago, weighing multiple pounds and several ounces. Much like his father, he is a fan of silence.
- Ron Swanson: In the time I've worked here, I've taken great pains to see as little of this building as possible. Turns out the third floor is silent, empty, and completely free of government work. I can't think of anything more beautiful to share with my son.
- Ben Wyatt: Okay, this is the really exciting part. We buy tetrachloroethylene at $1.60 a gallon, but we sell it back at $2.38 a gallon. Now, I know what you're thinking. What if it's a cleaner who wants to buy glycol ethers?
- Tom Haverford: Ben, stop! This is so boring! This is like listening to a TED talk by the color beige.
- Andy Dwyer: Don't worry, babe, I'll protect you. I got stung once, I'm immune. Go ahead and sting me, bees. It does nothing.