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Hans Crippleton Talk to the Hans (2014)

 |  Comedy, Horror  |  1 October 2014 (USA)
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A disturbing mystery lurks on a old backwoods farm brought to new light when a traveling camera team arrives... seeking the one and only Hans Crippleton.



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Title: Hans Crippleton Talk to the Hans (2014)

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Credited cast:
Barnaby Hunt
Bella look-a-like
Girl on Camera Phone (as Bria Pellandini)
Kevon Ward ...
Hans Crippleton
Han's Agent
Jimmy Lee Combs ...
Boom Boy
One Legged Sis
Cripple Pickle Zombie
MaMa Crippleton
Brian Coleman ...
Lost Teen
Cousin Bumpkin
Brandan Rader ...


A disturbing mystery lurks on a old backwoods farm brought to new light when a traveling camera team arrives... seeking the one and only Hans Crippleton.

Plot Summary | Add Synopsis


This has been Hans approved


Comedy | Horror



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Release Date:

1 October 2014 (USA)  »

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$5,000 (estimated)

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User Reviews

Hans Crippleman: Talk To The Hans
15 February 2015 | by See all my reviews

Hans Crippleton: Talk To The Hans is about a backwoods family of hillbillies who are plagued by a mysterious zombie curse. This story interests Barnaby Hunt, host of Horror Hunts, which is a documentary series dedicated to investigating the supernatural, horror legends and the downright bizarre. During his time with Hans Crippleton and his family of inbred hicks, we get to see their way of life as the mystery behind the curse is unveiled and Hans undergoes a rise and fall from fame.

There's a moment 3 minutes into Hans Crippleton: Talk To The Hans that not only sets the tone for the rest of the movie, but also makes you feel grateful to be witnessing such cinematic magic unfold. It involves Hans talking about his birth and we witness flashbacks to his mother trailing him along a field by the umbilical chord as she's chased by the undead. There's just something about a woman running away from zombies with her newborn inbred offspring still attached at the womb that tickles the funny bone, and it's one of many moments of transgressive humor that's sure make this movie the entertainment for beer and pizza nights for many years to come. Of course, it's also one of many moments that's sure to evoke outrage too, by the prudes who can't enjoy a good chuckle at the expense of political correctness. Hans isn't a movie that sets out to offend the masses, but it has no problem rubbing its inappropriateness in the face of good taste either... with giant pumpkin testicles.

When I received the screener for this little tease, I was expecting something completely stupid, but entertaining nonetheless, and even though it's completely bonkers and silly, it also provides a humorous outlook on modern society. Hans Crippleton: Talk To The Hands is an irreverent satire that mocks celebrity culture and reality television while poking fun at society's most conservative ethos. Kevon Ward (writer, producer and Hans in the movie) writes with a viewpoint similar to the likes of Matt Stone, Trey Parker, John Waters and Lloyd Kauffman. By that, I mean he's not afraid to gleefully cross that line, but at the end of the day it's just harmless fun. This movie doesn't take itself seriously for a second, and it's a joyous watch full of strange characters, toilet humor, cultural commentary and over-the-top violence. When watching the trailer, I recalled a Pink Flamingos vibe, and to my delight there was a nod to John Waters classic sleaze in Hans, where we see some pink flamingo ornaments on display. I always love it when influences are nodded to in a movie.

This has been described as an ''outrageous zombie comedy'' and it is; it's actually given the zombie sub-genre the refreshing kick up the arse it needed by bringing something original to the table. However, it's more like a mockumentary with zombies in it from time to time. The main focus of the film is the disgusting characters we get to know and love no matter how repelling they come across. It's amusing to see the rise and fall of our crippled anti-hero Hans, who loves booze, hookers and drugs. The script is witty and full of quotable dialogue like,''He's soliciting himself like a 2 cent hooker on nickel night.'' Watching this movie, I felt like a teenager again seeing Dead Alive, Bad Taste and PoultrygeistL Night of the Chicken Dead for the first time. It's absolutely vile, it's in your face and it's hilariously messed up.

Jimmy Lee Combs knows how to stretch a dollar too and is a director with a lot of potential. For a micro-budget indie production this is very presentable and well shot. As for the monsters and effects, well... prepare to blow your load. They look fantastic and achieve the right amount of balance between charming and nasty.

Fans of Troma should get a kick out of this.

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