- Gillian: [interrupting the beginning of the wedding ceremony] No! Fine! You carry on! Yeah, don't tell us! We don't mind. We're just your daughters!
- Celia: Is Caroline here?
- Gillian: No, Celia, she isn't because you can't get from Harrogate to Halifax in a space of fifteen minutes. Not unless you're Captain Spock and you can disappear up your own backside in a cloud of glitter with a cheesy sound effect and land on another planet two seconds later. I don't think even Caroline can do that. I may be wrong.
- Azeem: She means Mr. Spock.
- Gillian: Who's he?
- Alan: That's Azeem.
- Azeem: Halifax's finest halal. Rawson street, just down here. Well, it's not mine. It's me uncle's.
- [first lines]
- Azeem: [sitting in the registry office lobby] How long will it take?
- Celia: Oh, I don't know. Not long, I shouldn't think.
- Alan: [entering the room with a police officer] This is Dave. He's kindly agreed to be our other witness. This is, uh, Celia.
- Celia: How do you do?
- Alan: And this is Azeem.
- Azeem: Do you know how long it's going to take?
- Ellie: [in hospital and in early labour] I don't want a baby. I'm too young to have a baby. I don't even know what you do with babies.