Leo Fitz: Do you remember the last time you brought a dead thing into the lab?
Jemma Simmons: [sighs] Oh, not the stupid cat again.
Leo Fitz: The cat -
[pointing at Coulson]
Leo Fitz: Tell him about the cat!
Jemma Simmons: And it's *our* lab Fitz, not *your* lab.
Leo Fitz: [yelling] You left his liver next to my lunch!
Leo Fitz: Here's the new Night-Night pistol.
[Ward tries it out]
Grant Ward: Sorry, Fitz. It's close, but it's just not right.
Leo Fitz: [Quietly] 'Cause agent Coulson had no problems.
Grant Ward: It's an ounce too heavy.
Skye: [Sitting nearby] An ounce? Seriously?
Grant Ward: It's the difference between success and failure. When you're on a rooftop with a 15-mile-an-hour wind, Your target is 500 yards away...
Leo Fitz: Yeah, but we do have a rifle.
Grant Ward: [Looks at Fitz] Lose the ounce.
Leo Fitz: Yeah, okay. On it. "Lose the ounce".
Leo Fitz: I'm Agent Grant Ward, and I can shoot the legs off a flea from 500 yards, as long as it's not windy.
Jemma Simmons: [Jemma Enters the Lab] So, Ward was here? Let me guess the night-night pistol again?
Leo Fitz: Yeah, and he said it was off by an ounce.
Jemma Simmons: Of course he did.
[Also imitating Ward]
Jemma Simmons: I'm Agent Grant Ward, and I could rupture your spleen with my left pinky... blindfolded!
Melinda May: That her medical report?
Phil Coulson: Mine, actually. Blood work finally came back. I'm perfectly normal - little heavy on the iron. But don't worry - you don't have to start calling me Iron Man.
Melinda May: Wasn't planning on it.
Melinda May: Whether it was 8 seconds or 40, you died. There's no way you can go through a trauma like that and not come out of it changed. You know how long it's taken me to...
Phil Coulson: I know.
Melinda May: The point of these things is to remind us that... There is no going back, there's only moving forward. You feel different because you *are* different.
Grant Ward: I wanted it to be a person, some super-powered psychopath - someone I could hurt, someone I could... punish. That I could do. What I can't do is protect you guys from stuff I can't even see or understand.
Phil Coulson: [Entering the lab] What's Fitz doing out there?
Jemma Simmons: He... detected a strange energy about the body.
Phil Coulson: He's afraid of it, isn't he?
Leo Fitz: [From the other room] It's the smell!
Phil Coulson: I got hurt once - pretty bad. And, I died. Some say it was for only eight seconds, but I know it was for more than that. I know I wasn't here anymore. I was there.
Tony Diaz: What's it like?
Phil Coulson: It's beautiful.
Jemma Simmons: [Coulson is running on the treadmill] Working up a good sweat there, sir?
Phil Coulson: I don't sweat, I glisten.
Phil Coulson: Any idea what could cause an effect like this?
Jemma Simmons: [Speaking in unison with Fitz] There's the soliton hypothesis.
Leo Fitz: Well, okay, judging by the horizontal...
Jemma Simmons: Perhaps nanobatteries...
Leo Fitz: ...electrical discharge could be...
Phil Coulson: [Interrupting] Time. Let's try again. Any idea what could cause an effect like this?
Jemma Simmons: Hell if I know.
Leo Fitz: Uh, no, no clue.
Jemma Simmons: Well, you can officially tell your physical therapist that you're fit as the proverbial fiddle, especially for a man of your age.
Phil Coulson: "A man of my age?" That's something you say to an old person.
Leo Fitz: I was doing just fine tucked away in a safe, indoor, non-mobile lab at the academy! Then you had to go and drag us into this flying circus! Didn't even pass our field assessments, for God's sake!
Jemma Simmons: Please, as if I forced you to follow me anywhere.
Leo Fitz: You said, and I quote "Fitz, "it's the most perfect opportunity "for us to see the world. We'd be fools to pass this one up!"
Jemma Simmons: I hate it when you use that voice. That's not even how I sound. And you were just afraid of going into the field.
Leo Fitz: I'm not afraid...
Jemma Simmons: And don't you dare act like these last few months haven't been the highlight of your entire pasty life!
Leo Fitz: Pasty? Really? Well, when did you become so sun-kissed? Because I'm pretty sure that every minute of every day, You've been stuck in a lab right beside me. At the academy, at sci-ops, this plane. You've been beside me the whole damn time!
[Starts to get emotional]
Leo Fitz: You have to fix this.
Grant Ward: So, what did you think of your first time skydiving?
Jemma Simmons: Honestly, I'd rather not to think about it anymore.
Grant Ward: I thought what you did was incredibly brave.
Jemma Simmons: Ah. I suppose now's as good a time as any to tell you that I may have misled you earlier. You see, when I gave you back the night-night pistol, I lied - it's still an ounce off.
Grant Ward: I know.
Jemma Simmons: [Surprised] You do?
Grant Ward: After all,
[Mimics her imitation of him]
Grant Ward: I'm agent Grant Ward. I just jumped out of a plane without a parachute on, and saved your life!
Jemma Simmons: [Smiles] Actually, that's not quite it. It's a bit more nasally than that.
Agent Blake: [Final Scene] That's the best you could come up with, you got a bad connection?
Phil Coulson: I was pressed for time.
Agent Blake: Bold move. You know our chat wasn't exactly private.
Phil Coulson: They never are.
Agent Blake: I don't know what happened to you in New York, if you really flat-lined or that's just what they tell us when we reach level 7; but whatever did happen doesn't give you license to disobey a direct order from HQ. You keep pulling stunts like that, someone might decide to take this little dream team away from you.
Phil Coulson: I'd like to see them try.
Agent Blake: That doesn't sound like the Phil Coulson I used to know.
Phil Coulson: No, I suppose it doesn't. Get used to it.
Skye: Phys-Ed teacher at the local high school and varsity baseball coach and troop leader and volunteer firefighter. This guy makes Captain America look like "The Dude"
Skye: The Big Lebowski?
[more blank stares]
Agent Blake: Coulson, nice to see you're not dead.
Phil Coulson: Did you get our analysis of the virus?
Agent Blake: We did, and SHIELD has no record of anything like it. No one does. So it's imperative it reach the sandbox without incident. In case of a pandemic, we're going to need it.
Phil Coulson: I'm aware, but don't need more orders or ultimatums. I need answers.
Agent Blake: I wish I had some for you. I'm sorry, Coulson I've been ordered to inform you that if you have infected cargo, you need to dump it.
[Coulson is silent]
Agent Blake: Do you copy me, Coulson? The orders are coming from up top.
Phil Coulson: I'm sorry bad connection. Didn't get that last part.
[Hangs up the conference call, As May walks in]
Phil Coulson: Don't even think it.
Melinda May: I don't have to. That's your job.
Jemma Simmons: Fitz, I don't know what you think you're doing, but...
Leo Fitz: I'm doing what we always do. We're gonna fix this. Together.
Melinda May: You figure out why the body was floating?
Jemma Simmons: The molecular density of the victim was temporarily altered by an unknown energy source. I'm hoping to shed some light on its effects once I extract a brain-tissue sample.
Leo Fitz: It's happening again!
Jemma Simmons: It's science, Fitz! I have to dissect something.