Edit
"Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." FZZT (TV Episode 2013) Poster

(TV Series)

(2013)

Quotes

Leo Fitz: Do you remember the last time you brought a dead thing into the lab?

Jemma Simmons: [sighs] Oh, not the stupid cat again.

Leo Fitz: The cat -

[pointing at Coulson]

Leo Fitz: Tell him about the cat!

Jemma Simmons: And it's *our* lab Fitz, not *your* lab.

Leo Fitz: [yelling] You left his liver next to my lunch!

9 of 9 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Leo Fitz: Here's the new Night-Night pistol.

[Ward tries it out]

Grant Ward: Sorry, Fitz. It's close, but it's just not right.

Leo Fitz: [Quietly] 'Cause agent Coulson had no problems.

Grant Ward: It's an ounce too heavy.

Skye: [Sitting nearby] An ounce? Seriously?

Grant Ward: It's the difference between success and failure. When you're on a rooftop with a 15-mile-an-hour wind, Your target is 500 yards away...

Leo Fitz: Yeah, but we do have a rifle.

Grant Ward: [Looks at Fitz] Lose the ounce.

[Leaves]

Leo Fitz: Yeah, okay. On it. "Lose the ounce".

[Imitating Ward]

Leo Fitz: I'm Agent Grant Ward, and I can shoot the legs off a flea from 500 yards, as long as it's not windy.

[Skye laughs]

Jemma Simmons: [Jemma Enters the Lab] So, Ward was here? Let me guess the night-night pistol again?

Leo Fitz: Yeah, and he said it was off by an ounce.

Jemma Simmons: Of course he did.

[Also imitating Ward]

Jemma Simmons: I'm Agent Grant Ward, and I could rupture your spleen with my left pinky... blindfolded!

8 of 8 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Melinda May: That her medical report?

Phil Coulson: Mine, actually. Blood work finally came back. I'm perfectly normal - little heavy on the iron. But don't worry - you don't have to start calling me Iron Man.

Melinda May: Wasn't planning on it.

8 of 8 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Melinda May: Whether it was 8 seconds or 40, you died. There's no way you can go through a trauma like that and not come out of it changed. You know how long it's taken me to...

Phil Coulson: I know.

Melinda May: The point of these things is to remind us that... There is no going back, there's only moving forward. You feel different because you *are* different.

7 of 7 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Grant Ward: I wanted it to be a person, some super-powered psychopath - someone I could hurt, someone I could... punish. That I could do. What I can't do is protect you guys from stuff I can't even see or understand.

7 of 7 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Phil Coulson: [Entering the lab] What's Fitz doing out there?

Jemma Simmons: He... detected a strange energy about the body.

Phil Coulson: He's afraid of it, isn't he?

Leo Fitz: [From the other room] It's the smell!

7 of 7 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Phil Coulson: I got hurt once - pretty bad. And, I died. Some say it was for only eight seconds, but I know it was for more than that. I know I wasn't here anymore. I was there.

Tony Diaz: What's it like?

Phil Coulson: It's beautiful.

6 of 6 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Jemma Simmons: [Coulson is running on the treadmill] Working up a good sweat there, sir?

Phil Coulson: I don't sweat, I glisten.

6 of 6 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Phil Coulson: Any idea what could cause an effect like this?

Jemma Simmons: [Speaking in unison with Fitz] There's the soliton hypothesis.

Leo Fitz: Well, okay, judging by the horizontal...

Jemma Simmons: Perhaps nanobatteries...

Leo Fitz: ...electrical discharge could be...

Phil Coulson: [Interrupting] Time. Let's try again. Any idea what could cause an effect like this?

Jemma Simmons: Hell if I know.

Leo Fitz: Uh, no, no clue.

5 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Jemma Simmons: Well, you can officially tell your physical therapist that you're fit as the proverbial fiddle, especially for a man of your age.

Phil Coulson: "A man of my age?" That's something you say to an old person.

5 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Leo Fitz: I was doing just fine tucked away in a safe, indoor, non-mobile lab at the academy! Then you had to go and drag us into this flying circus! Didn't even pass our field assessments, for God's sake!

Jemma Simmons: Please, as if I forced you to follow me anywhere.

Leo Fitz: You said, and I quote "Fitz, "it's the most perfect opportunity "for us to see the world. We'd be fools to pass this one up!"

Jemma Simmons: I hate it when you use that voice. That's not even how I sound. And you were just afraid of going into the field.

Leo Fitz: I'm not afraid...

Jemma Simmons: And don't you dare act like these last few months haven't been the highlight of your entire pasty life!

Leo Fitz: Pasty? Really? Well, when did you become so sun-kissed? Because I'm pretty sure that every minute of every day, You've been stuck in a lab right beside me. At the academy, at sci-ops, this plane. You've been beside me the whole damn time!

[Starts to get emotional]

Leo Fitz: You have to fix this.

5 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Grant Ward: So, what did you think of your first time skydiving?

Jemma Simmons: Honestly, I'd rather not to think about it anymore.

Grant Ward: I thought what you did was incredibly brave.

Jemma Simmons: Ah. I suppose now's as good a time as any to tell you that I may have misled you earlier. You see, when I gave you back the night-night pistol, I lied - it's still an ounce off.

Grant Ward: I know.

Jemma Simmons: [Surprised] You do?

Grant Ward: After all,

[Mimics her imitation of him]

Grant Ward: I'm agent Grant Ward. I just jumped out of a plane without a parachute on, and saved your life!

Jemma Simmons: [Smiles] Actually, that's not quite it. It's a bit more nasally than that.

5 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Agent Blake: [Final Scene] That's the best you could come up with, you got a bad connection?

Phil Coulson: I was pressed for time.

Agent Blake: Bold move. You know our chat wasn't exactly private.

Phil Coulson: They never are.

Agent Blake: I don't know what happened to you in New York, if you really flat-lined or that's just what they tell us when we reach level 7; but whatever did happen doesn't give you license to disobey a direct order from HQ. You keep pulling stunts like that, someone might decide to take this little dream team away from you.

Phil Coulson: I'd like to see them try.

Agent Blake: That doesn't sound like the Phil Coulson I used to know.

Phil Coulson: No, I suppose it doesn't. Get used to it.

5 of 5 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Jemma Simmons: This is the victim's brain.

Phil Coulson: It looks like a burnt baked potato.

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Skye: Phys-Ed teacher at the local high school and varsity baseball coach and troop leader and volunteer firefighter. This guy makes Captain America look like "The Dude"

[blank stares]

Skye: The Big Lebowski?

[more blank stares]

Skye: Seriously?

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Agent Blake: Coulson, nice to see you're not dead.

Phil Coulson: Did you get our analysis of the virus?

Agent Blake: We did, and SHIELD has no record of anything like it. No one does. So it's imperative it reach the sandbox without incident. In case of a pandemic, we're going to need it.

Phil Coulson: I'm aware, but don't need more orders or ultimatums. I need answers.

Agent Blake: I wish I had some for you. I'm sorry, Coulson I've been ordered to inform you that if you have infected cargo, you need to dump it.

[Coulson is silent]

Agent Blake: Do you copy me, Coulson? The orders are coming from up top.

Phil Coulson: I'm sorry bad connection. Didn't get that last part.

[Hangs up the conference call, As May walks in]

Phil Coulson: Don't even think it.

Melinda May: I don't have to. That's your job.

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Jemma Simmons: Fitz, I don't know what you think you're doing, but...

Leo Fitz: I'm doing what we always do. We're gonna fix this. Together.

4 of 4 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

Melinda May: You figure out why the body was floating?

Jemma Simmons: The molecular density of the victim was temporarily altered by an unknown energy source. I'm hoping to shed some light on its effects once I extract a brain-tissue sample.

Leo Fitz: It's happening again!

Jemma Simmons: It's science, Fitz! I have to dissect something.

3 of 3 found this interesting Interesting? | Share this
Share this: Facebook  |  Twitter  |  Permalink

See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

Contribute to This Page