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"American Horror Story" The Axeman Cometh (TV Episode 2013) Poster

Quotes

Cordelia Foxx: Why are there roses in here?

Fiona Goode: I thought you might enjoy them. They're the very last of your heirlooms.

Cordelia Foxx: Roses pull in love and romance. That's not what I'm looking for right now. I need chrysanthemums. All kinds of them, for strength and protection.

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Zoe Benson: Is there anyone that doesn't have a fan site?

Nan: I don't.

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Queenie: [to Spalding] Fiona's not here to help you now, Riff Raff. Best be straight.

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Marie Laveau: You're supposed to be ridding me of my enemies. Instead, They're mouthier than ever! Showing up on my doorstep, disrespecting me, digging up my enemies. When I plant a fat-ass cracker bitch, I expect her to stay planted, not come back up like goddamn ragweed! And that Fiona- doing my Bastien like that. Bastien. My poor Bastien. They desecrated you. And I brought you back life, and she took it away again? Well, now we take hers and all. No more nonsense. You go back there, and you bring me their heads. All of them. Fiona, her daughter and every witch bitch in that house. You bring me their heads, all of them. Then you burn that place to the ground. You do it, and you do it quick. And I let you live.

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Zoe Benson: I'll figure out what to do with Kyle.

Misty Day: I'm not taking him. He's a walking tornado. You made him. He's your problem now. Who's taking me home?

Zoe Benson: It's late. Why don't you stay the night, sleep in a real bed for a change?

Misty Day: No, thanks. I need to be alone.

Zoe Benson: I thought you were looking for your tribe.

Misty Day: I was. And I am. This ain't it. I got bad vibes. Real bad. There's something foul in this house.

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Queenie: Look, I've been taking care of myself for a really long time, so I'm not sure I need some white girl sorority sisters to cover my ass. And what is this green shit?

Zoe Benson: It's not a sorority. It's a coven. And this is absinthe, drink of the divine. Which we are.

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Cordelia Foxx: Who is she? Who is the redhead?

Hank Foxx: Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby. I don't know what you're talking about.

Cordelia Foxx: Enough bullshit! Anything else you want to tell me now? Because I will see it sooner or later. I had to go blind to see things about you I couldn't see before. A bad cosmic joke. It's a different kind of clarity, an absolute clarity I've never had. The images almost vibrate with light.

Fiona Goode: Thank Christ she's finally got your number.

Hank Foxx: She's high as a kite. You know what they gave her before we left the hospital?

Cordelia Foxx: I'm high all right, but it's not the drugs. And rest assured, you will be accountable for every single betrayal, no matter how deep you think your secrets are buried. Now get out of here. Get out!

Hank Foxx: Baby. You're my... you're my heart.

Fiona Goode: I'd get out while you still can, Jughead.

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Fiona Goode: You're gonna make it to your daughter's wedding, so you should go out and buy yourself a great dress. Blow the bank on it.

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Cordelia Foxx: Who are you? What do you want?

The Axeman: Release.

Cordelia Foxx: I can't do that.

The Axeman: Don't think so, dirty pussy cat? Goddamn witches. They ended me once, right here in this very room. And for years after, the parties and the music and the dancing raged wild outside while I sat trapped inside these four ugly walls. Now, last night, this sweet young witch comes along and offers me my release, and I said, "Oh, yes, ma'am, yes, please. What do you need?" She asks her favor, and I provide. The thing is, when the time comes for her to ante up, bitch lies, leaving me betwixt, between and ready to pop.

Cordelia Foxx: You died?

The Axeman: Uh-huh.

Cordelia Foxx: And now you're trapped.

The Axeman: Right here with you.

Cordelia Foxx: The only way I can help you is if you let me out of here.

The Axeman: No. Nobody leaves this room. You see, I had a... a contract. Promises were made, and all you've got to do is sing and dance, and call the witches who owe me my freedom. And I'll provide the music.

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Cordelia Foxx: Go to hell.

The Axeman: Ladies first.

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Fiona Goode: I never had the gift of mind-reading before. Is it the medication?

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Zoe Benson: You left your lives and came all the way across to country just to puss out now? If this is all the fight we have left in us at the end of our race, witches deserve to die.

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Fiona Goode: I'm just not ready to go quite yet. I want one more great love affair in my life. Now I think what I really want is just to belong to somebody. It's not too late for that, is it?

Doctor: No. My mom met someone on eHarmony, and they just went on a cruise to Nova Scotia.

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The Axeman: I gave fair warning, girl. I made my intentions clear to the world.

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Cordelia Foxx: I wanted to sever his arms and throw him out the window. I had to stop myself.

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Misty Day: You like my swamp water, don't you?

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Zoe Benson: [Shows Madison's corpse to Misty] What can you do?

Misty Day: I can help you dig a hole. She's already rotting. Plus, she's missing an arm.

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Nan: Did you see a bright light?

Madison Montgomery: No. There's nothing on the other side. It's just black. Forever.

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Misty Day: Hey! You stop that! Stop that! You don't want to piss me off! I could be your only friend!

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Cordelia Foxx: Why didn't you tell me?

Fiona Goode: What? What? What did you see?

Cordelia Foxx: Auntie Myrtle.

[crying]

Fiona Goode: I wanted to tell you, Delia, but you were in so much pain, and I didn't want to add to it.

Cordelia Foxx: Burned at the stake.

Fiona Goode: Yes. For what she did to you, yes.

Cordelia Foxx: No. That cannot be.

Fiona Goode: I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I think it's best if I let you be alone for awhile.

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Misty Day: Get him out of here. He broke Stevie.

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Kaylee: Truth be told, Mrs. Foxx, I really don't want to be powerful. I just want to find a good husband and have three kids. I think I have a really good shot. I work out, and I play fantasy football.

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Hank Foxx: An acid attack? Was that supposed to speed things along? You just made my job more complicated.

Marie Laveau: You think I did that? I look like the Taliban to you? If I wanted to blind your little wifey, I wouldn't have to leave my room.

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Witch: [on the Axeman - 1919] This is an outrage. This madman is holding our city hostage to his twisted whim.

1919 Street Patron: Millie, do you think playing the Victrola will suffice? Come Tuesday evening, a jazz ensemble in New Orleans will be more precious than the Hope Diamond.

1919 Street Patron 2: We can choose jazz songs from my collection of phonographs.

Lady Reading Newspaper: Why should we do anything to appease this Axeman?

Witch: Because he kills women with an axe!

1919 Street Patron: Do I have to remind you? He says, "One thing is certain "and that is some of those persons who do not jazz it on Tuesday night will get the axe.

1919 Street Patron 2: Witch No. 3: His prose could use refinement but we get the point.

1919 Street Patron 2: Witch No. 2: If we don't play jazz music Tuesday night...

Lady Reading Newspaper: ...We're inviting an attack... it could not be more clear Sister. The real question is, what are we to do? Ladies, we have been docile too long. We are powerful, even though none of you have yet to believe it. Not only are we descendents of Salem but we are suffragettes. We're on the verge of our greatest victory, giving us the equal right to vote. If we embody our feminine might, intelligence with grace, strength with an iron will, no man can make us cower in our home.

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The Axeman: Well, hello pretty lady. What you drinking?

[last lines]

The Axeman: They have never seen me, "for I am invisible, "even as the ether which surrounds your earth.

[first lines]

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The Axeman: I am not a human being, but a spirit, a fell demon from hottest hell. I am what you Orleanians call, the Axeman.

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The Axeman: When I see fit, I shall come again and claim other victims. I alone, know who they shall be. I shall leave no clue, except, my bloody axe. Undoubtedly, you Orleanians think of me as a most horrible murderer... for which I am! But, I could be much worse if I wanted too. At will, i could slay thousands of your best citizens, for I am in close relationship with the Angel of Death.

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Lady Reading Newspaper: Yes. Just as expected. Death.

[on reading Tarot Cards for Axeman]

The Axeman: You have no-one to blame but yourself.

Witch: That reading was for you!

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Queenie: [on Ouija board answer] Axeman! Stop! Stop! Stop! If survival is so important to you, you better find out who you're talking too!

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Queenie: The spirit will say anything to get released. They mess with you!

Violet Harmon: Is that why he said we killed him?

Adelaide 'Addie' Langdon: No! He thinks we're them!

Violet Harmon: Class of 1919. The same year as the Axeman disappeared.

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Billie Dean Howard: I had to go blind to see things about you, I couldn't see before. A bad cosmic joke. It's a different kind of clarity, an absolute clarity, I've never had. The images almost vibrate with light.

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Violet Harmon: Okay, you twisted, tea-serving, necrophiliac! It's time to fess up! You killed Madison.

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Larry Harvey: I'm a man of uniquely developed appetites.

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The Axeman: Don't think so dirty, pussycat!

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The Axeman: Get those witches in here and release me now!

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The Axeman: I always hated this room.

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Misty Day: [to Kyle] Where've you been? You look like you've been rode hard and put up wet. My daddy used to say that.

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[first lines]

The Axeman: They have never seen me, 'for I am invisible', even as the ether which surrounds your earth.

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Madison Montgomery: I need a cigarette.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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